my depression is runing my life

four years ago i got dignossed with depression. i have been admit in to hospital on two occisions because of me taking an over dose and used to self harm. i used to spend my days lying in bed and cutting off contact with the outside world. in 2010 i meetmy current partner everything started off great and then the 'honey-moon' period wore off and of course allmy worries and  anxietys began to show. he makes me feel great when ever i am with him but when we are apart i am scared that he is off with someone else or making fun of me behind my back. i start arguments over the smallest thing and on occisions i have left him s i feel he is better off with out me. he treats me like a princess and would do anything for me and this is how i re pay him. its getting to the point now where he van no longer cope with my low self asstime and parianoyer and i am scared that he is going to leave me. i do try my best to seem happy and not cause fights but i cant help it !!1 no one has ever stayed with me or stuck by me too now and it seems unreal that he will stay with me pleaseeee some one help meeee !!!!!!!!!!!

hi i have been seeing a councselor since the first time i was in hospital .. just seems nothing is working. part of me knows that everything will be fine but i have had so much desapontment in my life i feel like nothing good will ever happen to me and nothing good is allowed to happen to me so when it does i ruinit coz i know soon it will all end anyway
thanks karen