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Posted 5/1/2005 4:08 AM (GMT 0)
I don't know what to do with myself.  My boyfriend is working this weekend (he's a pilot) so I won't see him for a few days.  All of my friends are busy or out of town.  Even my parents went away for the weekend, so I have absolutely nothing to do and nobody to keep me company except my dog.  Does anyone else have a hard time being alone?  I haven't been able to motivate myself to do anything today.  I never even took a shower or got dressed today.  I'm still wearing my pajamas and slippers.  I feel like I've just been waiting around all day for it to be time to go to bed again.  I had plans to get a bunch of stuff done today like go to the gym, study, take my car in for an oil change, do laundry....all things I need to do.  I don't know why I couldn't make myself get up and do it.  I feel like such a lazy slob.
Posted 5/1/2005 4:46 AM (GMT 0)
everybody has those days. i have to work tonight but all i want to do is stay in bed and either sleep or watch tv, anything but work. i think what you need to do is just make yourself do it. it doesn't sound like fun when you think of it, but once you are out there, things become what you make them. i love to go play basketball, but since my depression, it has become more of a chore for me then anything. but once i get there, i start to get into it and it becomes fun again. hope this helps, as we all have our good days and our bad days.

Posted 5/1/2005 6:44 PM (GMT 0)
A journal is a good ideal. I should try that!
Posted 5/1/2005 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Gretchen,
I used to look for a chance to have some time alone, then when I finally had some time alone . . . I didn't know how to BE alone. Now I really enjoy being alone. I can fill day after day . . . but I do have a sweet hubby coming home each evening. I think I grew into it. But it could be that I now have my depression under control.
Posted 5/1/2005 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all,

I don't know if I am bored per se today but I am procrastinating big time.  I have this huge project looming over my head and while I have half way started. Everytime I look at it I get tired and doing anything else seems so much better.

I spend way too much time alone lately not quality time, usually with my best friend the TV and the other friend known as sleep.  My therapist thinks that I isolate myself from others because when I spend too much time with others I become vulnerable and pull back from getting to know people better.

That is also why I take on "big" projects so I don't have to interact with others.  Great insight huh? I just have to start making different choices on where to spend my times on projects that help me avoid relationships and keep me safe but stress me out or on relationships that are satisfying and vulnerable.  As I hear all the time there are no guarntees in life and this is the reality- safety in this situation comes at a big price. 

Posted 5/2/2005 9:54 AM (GMT 0)
i have days like that gretchen.. reaching out and telling someone helps. if you can find anyone close to talk to about it. i reached out to my nieghbour and we sat down on a cup of tea, and we kept talking about many things i suddenly forgot about all the loonlyness feelings :0
Posted 5/2/2005 1:05 PM (GMT 0)
I have those feelings also. The funny thing is I want to be alone but when I'm alone I get more depressed. I know the answer is to not be alone but how am I ever going to face the fact that I need to be alone sometimes. (whoa... that is kinda confusing) I don't have any other way to put it though.
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