not again........

BrianJ,

I'm so sorry that you lost your sister and for your brothers' illness. I can't imagine what you are going through... You need to stay positive even if it's hard. Your brother is starting his battle, he's not loosing it... Hang on to that.

I hope everything goes well for him. And you must take care of yourself! Try to rest, eat right, and do a little exersise. It will help your spirit.

Have faith,
Caroline

i don't know what to say,i currently lost a very loved family member too.you deserve a big fat hug bro,cry it out,you may feel better,i'm sorry to hear about this.your not selfish,you have the right to be in pain,what happened to you is terrible,it's too early for you to recover from your sister's death,& now your bro is sick,so you have all the rights in the globe to be hurt & angered.stay strong,your brother will need you to be strong for him,
best of luck man.we're all here for you

Post Edited (Phil Anselmo) : 8/18/2012 5:22:57 AM (GMT-6)

Hey Brian,

So sorry to hear this. But this gives you reason to head in a healthy direction. Practice staying healthy. Eat right, exercise and all that good stuff. Drink a lot of water. Take care of you. Take this one day at a time. Try not to project towards the future. This is sending you for a loop, but you can control that by living in the moment. I am so sorry to hear this news, but you are going to get through it.

Hugs, Karen

Thank you everyone for your concern and thoughts. I know I have to stay well for my brother and I will. Just today is somewhat better - the initial reaction has kinda run it's course. Now I just feel numb. I left work early last night and went home, took some sleep med and was able to sleep a good 10 hours. Thankfully, he has a wonderful wife so he's not alone in this but I will be going to see him next month fro a time.

It's just so unfair. My sister was only 59 and he's just 55 - both out parents are still alive in their 80's. I gotta stay positive though - it's just so hard after going through the same with my sister.

anyhow, thank you all so very much for your support - I knew I could find that here.

Staying in the Now....

Brian

Thanks Trina,

Crying is something I've learned to allow myself, l know how cathartic it can be. My daughter, who's just 20, has been a great help and comfort and has helped me stay in the now. She made a comment about how unfair this all is and I said something without even thinking and it made me think.

I said, "That's what life's all about, the good and the bad. It just seems that the bad always affects us more than the good. Try to change that for yourself." I thought about that for a while afterward and realised, hey that's good advice! I'm trying to keep that in mind as the days pass....maybe I can change that for me....

I've not eaten as well as I probably should lately but I have been getting out fishing nearly everyday I'm not working. It's very calming, serene, refreshing and has really helped me keep things in perspective. Today I make a concerted effort at eating well.

Thank you so much EVERYONE, for all your love and support. I wish you all a great week.

Brian

I miss fishing. When I was a kid, all we did was grab a rod and reel, hooks, worms and went. Now there is so much preparation. But I will go one day soon. I remember many early mornings sitting in a boat on the lake. The water so still. Maybe some misty fog and almost always see deer. I really do miss it. Thanks for the memories...

Hugs, Karen...

Karen,

If you can find a spot where you can fish from shore, the preparation becomes much less. I've been lucky enough to pickup a tiny punt (fiberglass dingy) free and a trolling motor & battery on sale. I actually got the boat more than 6 years ago, needing repair, and just got it together last week.

Luckydog,

thanks - I should know better than to deny my emotions.

Brian

Karen,

I am so glad to hear I've been of some help to you! Just proves you never know what someone else needs to hear or how the simplest things can make such big differences.

If I lived anywhere near you (do I?) I'd gladly take you out fishing.

In an effort to help my brother, I posted in the Prostrate Cancer forum here and was immediately met by the same expediency and true concern I've come to recognise here. I was given a couple of resource leads and spoken to with empathy and understanding. I don't expect I'll ever be rid of my present conditions (although improvement is possible) but even if I was miraculously "cured", I don't think I'd ever give up visiting this site.

I've spent years in recovery groups and I don't think I ever felt as much caring as I have here. The people on this site are second to none. What a shame the rest of the world didn't suffer as we do - perhaps they'd be less inclined to kill each other.

Oops, getting a little too philosophical! Anyhow, have a good weekend, get some sun and keep smiling!

Brian

Karen,

I am feeling better. Getting more and more excited about having my daughter come live with me - she moves in Sept 2. My brother said perhaps I should wait to go out to see him - save the time and expense for when/if things take a turn for the worse - but I think he could use seeing me now. Of course I said I could make more than one trip, 'cause I'd rather see him BEFORE he gets worse (if he does) - I find myself wishing I'd seen my sister more, earlier.

Anyhow, I think I'll go ahead and fly out in a couple of weeks - maybe just show up, y'know? My siblings seems to feel showing that we care is an imposition which is so strange as we all lived through hell as kids and that brought us so much closer. Well, I'll post here again as time passes.

Thanks Karen, for everything.

Brian

Hello,

I hope all are keeping well! My daughter's been with me now for 2 weeks and it's been a blessing. Although she's been very busy with orientation at school, we've had some good talks over good meals and I feel so much more like a Father again! My 3 kids have lived with their Mother for the past 5+ years.

My brother had a kidney removed last week and the testing isn't yet complete. He's home and recovering but having greater trouble with his Thyroid (life-long problem) and is teetering on the verge of Diabetes - all the result of his fight. He's happier and having far less pain so I'd say things are definitely positive.

I haven't been able to get out to see him yet but am hopeful I will before November. All in all, my life is taking a nice upward swing and I'm just gliding with it.

Hugs to All,

Brian

Hello Bryan,

thanks so much for sharing the good with us. we are blessed to hear that you are doing so good. I believe in the ripple effect. When you share your joy it spreads.

You will most likely find more closeness now with your brother also, illness can do this with people. Remember to breathe and count to 3 before speaking if times become little rough again, it will help bring compassion back.

You are a lucky person to experience the bad and good so close together. meditate on the good and keep it close, it will become part of who you are as you grow.

Stay strong.

Trina