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Posted 10/17/2012 1:42 PM (GMT 0)
I am been struggling with depression for a while now and I always feel so miserable for a few months then I feel GREAT for like two months then miserable again and I can't take it anymore. I am so depressed, I am missing work, I am missing out on school, I always have horrible thoughts and pray I don't wake up in the morning and actually get more depressed that I do. I am sick of dealing with this, I want to just give up, I'm sick of hospital stays, I'm sick of meds and psychiatrist, I'm sick of psychologist. I feel like no one understands me when I say I can't get out of bed, well why....I just can't. I feel like I am fighting for a battle I don't even want to win, or like I am in a room filled with people screaming HELP and no one can hear me. I am so tired at this point and I am not only hurting myself but my family and friends as well. cry
Posted 10/17/2012 4:03 PM (GMT 0)
Kciazan,

You are on a roller coaster ride. This is a big part of depression. We ALL get stuck on this ride at one time or another and feel there is no way off! I have listed below some things that will help give you more control.

Stay on your medications, if they seem to be not working, communicate with the doctor, be 100% honest. Do not be afraid to be proactive with your health, the doctor is just another person.

Look into MINDFULNESS and MEDITATION to help control your emotions. Sounds like they need to be regulated. There is also a workbook available, "writing for emotion regulation" wonderful book to get through with your therapist or doctors guidance. Check out mindfulness.org to start. Most books are at your local library and the articles are great.

Journaling itself is a form of emotional regulation and self-centering. It allows you to put your thoughts down in a place, so you can "dump" them, sort them, make some kind of sense of them. I have been journaling for 2 years and it is a great tool to stabelize me.

Also the following link is a great place to start to find stabelization in your emotions while riding the storms.

http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Stay strong and keep posting, we are here to listen and support each other through the good and the bad.

Trina
Posted 10/17/2012 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

Trina gave you some wonderful advice. I would just like to add to take life one day at a time. This simple thing can really help you to get centered.

Know all of us understand what you are going through. If you are really fatigued as well, I would check into chronic fatigue syndrome. You never know. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue goes along with it. It is no fun, I know.

I really hope that you feel better soon. Take comfort in knowing that we here do understand what you are going through and we really do care about you.

Keep posting, that helps too. Do check into the mindfulness. Try to get out and walk a little if you can. It helps both mentally and physically.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/17/2012 10:54 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for the replies and I have tried so many of those things, catch is I am a psychology major and I help people everyday I just can't seem to help myself. What do I do about work? I can't even get out of bed nor do I have any desire to. I am also getting into the habit of taking more of my medications then I am suppose to so I cam "numb" the pain. I'm tearing up while I write this, I am just sooooo tired of being sick, I'm scared I'm not going to be able to keep being this strong, I feel like I am dying inside and there is only so much my job is going to put up with, they have offered for me to take as much time off as I need but my my boyfriend does not make enough money to support me and our two boys, especially because I have my own bills as well. I just want to end this battle... I'm scared and do not have much faith in making it this time around, sigh

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 10/17/2012 5:17:54 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/17/2012 11:22 PM (GMT 0)
Kcizan,

I had to remove one sentence out of your post. I hope you understand.

Do you see a psychiatrist or a regular doctor? Can you tell them that you need more of the medication to feel better. What type of medication are you talking about? Is it pain medication or antidepessants? Are you talking emotional pain or physical pain?

I am sure that you know that we have to be proactive with our mental health. You want to take steps to get to feeling better. You have to continue trying. Even if things don't work, keep trying. Even if you have to do the same thing over and over. Even though you are a psychologist major, we don't always look at our own situation objectively. Therapy gives us that objective eye. The one that we need to see a situation for what it is.

I wish you the very best...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/18/2012 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
I am on exferror klonapin and doxepin for the emotional aspect and then I get migraines and whatnot that is not the biggest issue as of right now. And I have been jumping back and forth with medications for so long and I really thought this was going to work this time, I was GREAT for months I had a whole new outlook on life and the last two weeks things are just going down hill again. I mean what are my options with work I live in PA do you know of any type of support I can get money wise till I get back on my feet? Also how do I explain this to my boyfriend, he has been great but I know it is putting a toll on him and he always says I'm sorry I don't understand...I don't want to lose my family
Posted 10/18/2012 2:36 AM (GMT 0)
Have you tried the department of social services? I took effexor for about 15 years. It really helped me. Sometimes the brand name drugs will help you out if you don't have insurance. Sometimes they will provide you with medications for about a year. Samples are another way to go. There is a website called needydrugs.org. Sometimes you can get help there. Often mental health places work on a sliding scale and will lower their costs down to what you can pay.

I wouldn't really worry about the boyfriend right now. Get yourself stable and on your feet. Then think about the relationship. You have to take care of you right now. Keep your chin up. Take life one day at a time. And do take care of you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/18/2012 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, and my insurance actually covers everything for me which is awesome
Posted 10/18/2012 6:16 PM (GMT 0)
I hope that you can get the help that it requires for you to feel better.

Hugs, Karen

Keep posting and have a good day!
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