Depression hitting hard again

Hello All

I am new to this forum. Ive been struggling with my depression for years. I am currently on Effexor XR 150 mg however the last few months it has not been working. I am currently struggling with suicidal tendencies. I have to admit I've also hit the lost in my life and am currently on a destructive path and am terrified of what will happen. I have an appointment with my Dr tonight and am hoping we can help me. I have to admit I am struggling with alcohol something I never had an issue with. Has anyone else had this type of situation? I have no idea what I am supposed to do I was working out and eating healthy and then one day I couldn't get out of bed and little by little its getting harder and harder to just get out of bed and do my daily tasks let alone act like nothing is wrong. I also take klonopin on an as needed basis.

Please any suggestions or recommendations would be helpful again I do have an appt today

Thank you I am planning to be 100% truthful as I really want and need help. I have already looked into AA meetings as well.

Hello Valley Girl-

I too struggled with depression and alcoholism. I drowned my emotions each and every day after work and consumed a lot. I would pass out sometimes. I was also on antidepressants at the time but they weren't enough.

I too looked into AA but I was so scared that I would see someone I knew at the meetings. I am a teacher in my community and the last thing I wanted was my business being made public. I spoke to my counselor about it and he assured me that AA isn't for everyone. He said that as I began feeling better, the drinking would decrease. And he was right. AA might be right for you-give it a try.

When I drank I numbed the emotional pain I felt. I felt strong and "in control" and my self esteem was up. Everyone in my family was affected by my choices- but at the time I didn't think I had a choice. Something had to dull the pain. It was easier to harm myself by drinking than allow others to harm me emotionally.

I thank God everyday that I didn't die by mixing alcohol and my pills. Drinking in the long run made me more depressed and even more out of control.

I know exactly where you are and the only thing I can tell you is that people do care. They really do.

Tell you doctor everything and know that you will get better.

Hang in there-
Michele

Hello ValleyGirl,

Welcome to the forum! We are really glad you're here - never doubt that. As Trina says - get off the alcohol. A couple of years prior to my dx I was in a job that required 80 hr weeks and my being on-call 24/7. The stress level was incredible and caused me to rely greatly on alcohol, to the extent I was drinking when I woke up, kept a bottle in my briefcase and my desk and always had a couple of doubles before and after supper.

I became an alcoholic. Plain and far from simple. After a year, my wife told me to get help or get out. Boy, what a wake up! I ended up in Adult Children of Alcoholics (my mother was a stone drunk) for over 5 years.

I have recently posted about drinking and that I can now but maintain a strict limit and follow certain rules I found work for me. BUT, this is something I've worked out over many years.

If you're drinking now and regularly, you need to stop. You have to let the medications do their job properly and without the interference caused by alcohol. When you take antibiotics, you're told drinking alcohol defeats them before they can start to work - it is even worse with antidepressants. Alcohol doesn't just interfere but interacts with them causing any number of unwelcome side effects, not the least of which is further depression.

Trust me, once you stop drinking and the meds take effect you will not miss the booze. That's precisely what happened for me. When I started the meds I wasn't drinking all the time but maybe a few beers in a week but when the Doc told me about the potential interactions, I simply stopped all together and, once the proper meds kicked in, felt myself re-awakened to life - my life, which I soon discovered was not nearly as bad as the depression had led me to believe.

The first steps we need to take in healing are always the most fearful and, seemingly, painful but that can be alleviated by taking baby steps. Allow yourself to be sad, happy, angry, loving - don't deny your emotions but recognize and accept them.

One day at a time, one step at a time. Keep coming back, ValleyGirl.

Brian

Valley,

Knowing you'er not alone is alot of the battle right now.

If AA is not the place for you, although most find it is. Don't for forget ACA, that Brian was talking about. I too am a child of an
alcoholic, my mother.

The support from people who have lived through, what you have lived through is indescribable. It does something that helps to
heal you, that can not come from anywhere else. It is amazing the number of people ready and willing to share and help each other, the compassion in the groups.

It is a shame that compassion is not out in the "real" world, there would be no wars.

Anyway, please keep posting we are here to listen, support and count the days with you til your first meeting.

Stay strong and safe

Trina