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Hello

With Google as my guide, I ended up here. :)  I live with depression, extreme anxiety, dissociation and ( drum roll please) Agoraphobia. Although I can go to certain places if I force myself. eg grocery stores.  And I do have a car.   I am a 61 year old lady.  No spring chicken to be sure.  I have no friends or family near.  I have a couple of brothers. one speaks to me on occassion. The other does not.  I have a mother who is ill.  I love her very much. 

I have a couple fo friends with whom I very occassionally speak.  They do not want to hear about me. So I do not talk about myself.  One of them is quite physically ill. So I always let her just talk about herself anyway.  Twice a year someone comes to my home. Two nights ago was one of those nights. It was wonderful !!

I have in the past worked on the agoraphobia. But the results always reverted back.  When I got on to disability a couple of years ago I lost the therapist I was seeing.  Disability only covers phds and MDs.  So I pretty much lost that support as well.

Now for the good news.  I have some amazing stuffed animals.  They are fabulous !!  I have a home that has heat and food and comforts. 

This time of year is very painful for me.  All alone with no one to talk to.  Last night, because of the global "one earth one voice" celebration I forced myself to go to one of the local events.  It was not a success for me. I had to leave with my proverbial tail between my legs.  Very embarassing.  But we all sat in a big circle for a half hour before the event started.  I sat next to a neighbor.  Soon after we started talking, her friends came in. So of course she switched her attention and didnt talk to me anymore. There I sat. With people talking to each other. For a half hour.  Talk about magnifying alone !!  So I finally just had to leave when it got to be too painful.  I spent the day today droopy.  The pain was just augmented to a place where I was crying a lot.  So, I turned to my friend Google.  Google suggested I come here. And so it is. 

Thats me in a nutshell, so to speak.  Sending best to you all.  Hope I can meet some nice people. 

 

I don't know where you live but in the USA it is not uncommon for those on disability to be able to get on Medicaid even if they have Medicare. In these cases Medicare is considered the primary insurance and Medicaid secondary.

The qualifications vary from state to state so anyone looking into this option will need to speak with their state's public assistance office.

Another option is to check out state or county run mental health offices. Most of these are income based and their income guidelines do not necessarily follow the same income guides that are used to determine public assistance such of food programs and medicaid.

alone61,

welcome to the Healing Well forum.

I would like to say from the start that your are NOT alone! People do care. I know the pain that you felt sitting there while everyone else was talking. Experienced it many times through out school.

I am 51 now, I do better, not much but some.

There are support groups you can look into that would be very helpful. From depression groups to Agoraphobia.

I have dissociative disorder and maintain it with mindfulness, this helps keeps me in the now and live my life day to day.

https://mindful.org this site has wonderful enlightening articles and most of the books can be found in your local library for a test run before purchase.

Since you have gotten yourself out of the house and to that event, you are stronger than you realize! Keep up the good work!

Strong Strong and I wish you peace.
Trina

Thank you for all the generous answers and suggestions. I appreciate what everyone wrote !!! Sending lots of good thoughts to you all.