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Can't get over the fact that we all die

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Posted 12/29/2012 6:28 AM (GMT 0)
Well I don't know, but if there were a few nights in which I've been playing the whole night, could they also have something to do?

And thank you everyone for your help. Also, I think I should be happy knowing that I only have this problem... I mean look at Szm

"My mom is the kind of person who dies and gets mad at God for not showing up."
That was funny

Anyway I wonder why some people drink alot everyday and they don't have any problems while others drink a bit daily and they do... different organism?
Posted 12/29/2012 6:46 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Daniel,

Believe it or not, I think everyone at one time or another gets upset over the fact that we all die. I worries me too. I have to confess, that I didn't think about it too much when I was a teen though. I was too busy feeling invincible and that death only happens to old people (just a bit of humor). Now, I am among the old people and I do think of death often, but it is important note that I don't let it consume me. I am by no means a professional in anything dealing with any medical issues, but, believe me, you're young and have more than likely have yeeeeears ahead of you to live and I suggest, since you're 16, to get involved your friends, school, sports, dating, hiking, and really try hard to live. If you spend all your time thinking about death you'll miss all the beautiful things surrounding you that makes life worth living. Seek out a professional to help you. I have two son's, both adults and one is doing very well but my youngest son has been having a very rough time because of using drugs. He's only 25, and for the past two years, I thought I'd lose my mind because I just knew that one of the phone calls I'd get at 2:00 in the morning was going to be the police telling me he is dead. It worried me so because I love my children, and by him being the youngest, a bit more. I eventually had to seek mental health and I still attend the classes. My son is doing much better, has a stable place to live, but has relapsed from time to time, and probably will again. What I am trying to say is this, try your best to get involved in things that will keep your mind off the inevitable and LIVE!!! I hope this helps, and please talk to your parents, I am sure they will do all they can to help you.

Posted 12/29/2012 10:18 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, but this night I am having problems again... I wonder why do we have to die?
I hope the counsellor can help me, it's just a human too though...
I am shy, I don't kind of have friends and I am lazy too... my fault...
I am so scared now...
Posted 12/29/2012 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
This is why you should talk to a counselor. They can help you to understand the process of life. Try not to worry so much about dieing, and focus on living. Life is short, we need to enjoy it. We all have a problem enjoying life, depression is a huge part of that. But it can be done, and you can do it. By the time you get old enough to really think about dieing, you will understand. For some people it is a life long lesson. Try to learn as much as you can. Use the tools that you have to get through life and be happy. Do try to be happy... You are young... You have a lot of living to do.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/29/2012 11:01 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, instead of playing I have searched on meditation, how to sleep faster etc.
Meditation does help me I think, unbelievable but I was worried again and after searching and closing my eyes then concentrating on breathing I got relaxed... almost impossible to not think about something but hey it made me calmer.

1 question about Melatonin. You say I shouldn't take it cause I am young. Does it have adverse effects on young people? I mean, maybe there are rare cases in which there are young people with not enough of it.
Posted 12/30/2012 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
Long term case studies of a mean 3.7 years with an average of 94 patients under the age of 12 did not show any long-term side effects. Melatonin has been prescribed for children since 1990.

However, on Dec. 6, 2012 the National Institute of Health added to their website "Children: Melatonin should not be used in most children. It is POSSIBLY UNSAFE. Because of its effects on other hormones, melatonin might interfere with development during adolescence." This statement was regarding long-term daily use of melatonin.

Here is an article from the Mayo Clinic with a different point of view on it:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/melatonin/NS_patient-melatonin/DSECTION=dosing

Even so, I would just it use once in a while for no more than a few days to reset your body's clock to its natural sleep rhythm. Why risk becoming dependent on anything?

All the best,
Szm

Post Edited (Subzeromambo) : 12/29/2012 8:34:33 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/30/2012 4:14 AM (GMT 0)
"Why do we have to die?" You ask really good but hard questions. I like to think it is important to die so that there is room for new souls and new life.

"I am so scared now..." I wish I knew how to give you more effective support. Life is too short to spend it feeling terrible. How soon until school starts? Do you need your parents' permission to see a councilor or can you just make an appointment? The time change tells me you might be in a different country with national health care.

My city has places where teenagers can go and meet with councilors without the knowledge or permission of adults. They have to be at least 15 for a boy and 16 for a girl. Those are also the ages that people can get married without parental permission but they cannot vote or drink. State laws can be pretty strange.

A good councilor is priceless. The meeting should be a time where no statement or question is too irrational or outrageous. Think about what you want to get out of the appointment. Tell the person up front what you want. For example you might say, "I want to be free of being haunted by overwhelming fears every night."

Stop blaming yourself. You are not responsible for it happening. It could be a chemical imbalance, it could be genetic, it could be something temporary caused by recent news events. What really matters is finding solutions so you can get back to enjoying your nights.

Keep coming back here every time you need to. My responses will be delayed because of the time difference but I will try to be as supportive as possible. You are not alone. :)
Posted 12/30/2012 6:54 AM (GMT 0)
School starts on 14th.
We can get married at 18 years... but that's not a problem for me since I am too shy. :(
I can go without my parents's permission to the school counsellor.
Posted 12/30/2012 11:30 AM (GMT 0)
You have a little while before you can see a counselor. I am sorry. Is there anyway you could talk to somebody sooner? Keep posting, we are all here for you. In my opinion, life is scarier than death. But that is what I have learned throughout the years. I am older and have seen more and been through more than you. You wisdom will come with time.

We can't discuss religion here, but is there somebody you could talk to about life after death? I think it would comfort you to know that this isn't all that there is. Or to believe...

Keep posting Daniel. Know that we care about you and want you to feel safe.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/30/2012 11:53 AM (GMT 0)
I think death is worse... not scarier but worse... once you die you never come back again.
I know life got hard parts, but I think those are as a payment to God for allowing us to live.
I will also try finding more about reincarnation. I really hope it exists because it would be cool. Even if we don't know anyone we knew before, it's still cool because we live again and again. But then, there would be a space problem again.
Anyway, I can't explain how death would feel and unfortunately no once can cause once somebody died it's gone... I mean, what happens after we die? I heard we see very fast our family our friends what we did wrong etc. But after that? I think it's like sleep, but in sleep time goes very fast. So, if we sleep for eternity, how long does eternity last? Or I don't know how to explain, it's weird. When we die, we don't feel anything. But if we don't, what happens to us? There must be something, because blank can't be. Even if it would be white, white is something so it's not blank. Blank doesn't exist.
Posted 12/30/2012 12:20 PM (GMT 0)
This is where you need to talk to somebody in the clergy. A pastor or something. Maybe go to church. Though we cant' discuss it here, there are still ways for you to learn. None of us really know the answers. So we don't know anymore for sure than you do. If we sleep, we wont know the difference. Some believe in heaven. I think you should study that... At least get some opinions, but you can't do that here, as it is against the rules.

I hope you find peace in life and happiness. Allow yourself that much.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/30/2012 12:41 PM (GMT 0)
Doesn't physics have a rule that no energy is ever truly lost or gained? What if souls were like that? That would solve the space problem.
I can only speak from my experience. I do not think everyone experiences death in the same way, at least that was not what I found when I reached out to other people with near death experiences.
My life did not flash in front of my face, there were no feelings of regret or loss. There was instant acceptance that that part of my life was over. I could think about whatever I wanted for as long as I wanted. Time did not seem to exist the way it does when we are "alive." It was definitely not a blank existence just timeless and infinite. It was neither pleasant or unpleasant. Those feelings did not apply.
I enjoy continuing to have death as a mystery. There continue to be a lot of things I want to do here: learn to sing on key, read as many books as possible, maybe even write a book, continue to give my children complete unconditional love and, occasionally, embarrass the heck out of them. My brother used to play chess with dolphins as part of his linguistics research. I would like to spend a day swimming with a pod.
I wish I could take away your fear and make you happy. Two weeks is not too long to wait for a councilor. That was clever of you to research and try meditation. Relaxation meditation is great.
Posted 12/30/2012 1:46 PM (GMT 0)
"Doesn't physics have a rule that no energy is ever truly lost or gained? What if souls were like that? That would solve the space problem."
I don't understand, I meant there won't be enough space and resources for all corpses.

So did you die but then live again? Like I saw on the TV? You weren't feeling anything else, but you were able to think of anything?
Posted 12/30/2012 5:18 PM (GMT 0)
Daniel, have you been diagnoses with an illness or disease? I'm just wondering, as you seem so very fixtated on "death" and its aspects, are you sure its not something else that has you afraid?
Karen/ gettingby has given you good advise, some of the best counselors to talk to about this are clergy/ priests and even with the holidays some do have office hours for which you can go and talk to them, just tell your parents you need to get some school items and then go and talk to clergy/ church people.
As we delve deeper into this subject it gets into spirituality and that we cannot talk about on here as it can cause controversial, we try to help with support here as much as possible and you already have been given tons of advise, but ultimately its what you believe of death and we are limited on this subject.
I do believe its good to talk about but not to sit and worry about cause then you lose the focus of life entirely and that is to live, a good and caring life to be the best person you can try to be and how you can better achieve that, So I challenge you to go out today and help one person, no matter how small that act of kinde ness is from opening a door for someone, even than one act of kindness is a big help for someone, what can you do today to help someone?
Posted 12/30/2012 9:02 PM (GMT 0)
"I don't understand, I meant there won't be enough space and resources for all corpses."

We definitely had a cultural misunderstanding. I do not believe in burial in a box. It is not a cultural practice I understand. I believe in a nice, clean cremation. I would rather be useful fertilizer than a chemical contaminant. I also did not mean that anyone should die outside of their natural order, whatever that really means.

Technically my body was dead. Time of death recorded, etc. but my mind continued working. It was not like what you see on tv which is why I felt cheated. After they gave me lots of new blood and restarted my heart, I woke up during the surgery. Even though I could see what they were doing, I was not freaked out. You have no idea how happy I was to be alive again even though I was in intense pain. They put me back under with anesthesia right away. It was not an emotionally traumatic experience.

I am concerned that my telling you about this stuff might be unhealthy. I do not want you to start obsessing over it. It is something that happens rarely. I am still not sure if I think of it as a positive or negative experience. I just accept it. It happened and it is time to move on and enjoy life.

I was hoping that if you seriously explored this with me, on-line research, councilors, pastors/clergy, and whatever other resources you might find that you would find peace of mind. For me, knowledge almost always erases my fears.

My main point was to try and reassure you that having a loved one who is dead or being dead is not terrible. I have a feeling that this may take months of talking with a councilor for you to work out your own conclusions and to stop worrying about it.

Make sure that your are using your non-school time to do things you like. Fill each day with at least one thing you enjoy. Psychiatric studies are showing the multi-national multiplayer games can help shy people develop social skills that translate to face to face interactions.

I am a big fan of on-line team role playing games such as League of Legends or World of Warcraft. My youngest son was in the top 10 in the US for three months this summer, League of Legends even offered him a job. He ended up working for X-Box. He started moving right up the entry-level management ladder because of the teamwork and management skills he had learned through these games.

It is a great way for shy people to make friends and develop teamwork skills plus he made enough money in three months to pay for almost a whole year's worth of university tuition. He has never been allowed to play more than fours hours at a time in my house. He prepped for each session the same way he would prep for a rock climbing competition: have a healthy balanced protein
meal two hours before, limber up all muscles, hydrate with lots of water up until one hour before playing, vacate bodily functions before starting, and remove any environmental distractions from the room. Continue to lightly hydrate with water or low sugar electrolyte drinks while playing.

He is now in a pre-med university program. He wants to be a psychiatrist.

The games will not be a full social interaction unless you are playing with people you know but they might help you develop social skills that translate into face to face interactions. Luckily the bad old days when psychiatrists focused on the potential for violent games to beget or increase violent tendencies in youth have been disproven.

Now the money available for that kind of research is going to people looking for the benefits of multi-national multiple player RPGs.
My favorite project is my brother's.

He designs multi-player RPGs that force students to advance in the games only by learning second language commands and idioms. Imagine going to French class and playing a game like Call of Duty that actually helps you become fluent in French faster than if you were using a text book. At the moment the games are only available in Canadian schools as part of a beta project. Totally cool though, eh?

He holds many patents and copyrights on voice command software and hardware to activate and control machines. This is his retirement job.

There are lots of on-line classes on how to program your own game. Codecademy is the one our family uses the most. I am working my way through the tutorials for my on-line web site design business. I figure if I am stuck in bed most of the time, I need to develop a career that ignores where I am.

Today is a day of great pain so do me a favor: do something today that give you pleasure and tell me about it. It can be something as small as taking a walk and telling me interesting things you saw, playing a game with your dog, anything as long as it gives you pleasure.
Posted 12/30/2012 9:07 PM (GMT 0)
BTW here are the best books I know of on dying, death and after-life. They are easy to read and very interesting.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's "On Death and Dying", and "On Grief and Grieving."
The first books explains the five stages of death -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance . The second book applies these stages to the grieving process and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, including sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, isolation, and healing.
If you don't like to read, you can download the audio versions from your library onto your computer, phone, etc.
Posted 12/30/2012 9:12 PM (GMT 0)
I hope you don't mind that I talk to you like an adult.
Posted 12/31/2012 6:59 AM (GMT 0)
No, it's actually good. Don't worry, I am not "one of those kids playing games".
I don't usually like reading, but in the free time I will read. And it's for my good.
I also like playing games, mostly MMORPG. I am playing RaiderZ and I've played many like Shaiya, Battle of the Immortals, War of the Immortals etc. LoL doesn't seem interesting to me, mostly because it's hard to understand and you need to use heroes. I like having my own character, not 100+.

"He designs multi-player RPGs that force students to advance in the games only by learning second language commands and idioms. Imagine going to French class and playing a game like Call of Duty that actually helps you become fluent in French faster than if you were using a text book. At the moment the games are only available in Canadian schools as part of a beta project. Totally cool though, eh?"

How is that? For example they have to say how "hello" is said in French to shoot? Sounds cool anyway. Do you also play MMORPGs?

Yes, unfortunately, I am a gaming-addict. Even if I don't find anything that's not boring to play, I still search, and play mini-games. What pleasures me today is that I've found RaiderZ, one of the best MMORPG I've ever found and that the year is ending. That means another year passed by, but I like the party. :) I am not the kind with the parties, but I like to see the fireworks and I like spending some time with my 2 cousins even if sometimes they are playing stupid.

Post Edited (Daniel96) : 12/31/2012 12:04:47 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/31/2012 2:59 PM (GMT 0)
I have played WOW, an rpg game and we have lots of them here in the USA, personally I think call of duty as a more violent rpg, Have you tried guild wars, I would love to try guild wars, but they do not offer a Linux verision in anyway. More game companies should try marketing to Linux users as well, as Linux is gaining on Windows. Maybe you should take a computer language class and think about all the works it takes to make these games and their commands....
Posted 1/2/2013 11:18 AM (GMT 0)
I like Guild Wars 2 but it's not free. I also like Diablo III cause of the real money auction house so you can make some money from it but again not free.
Posted 1/2/2013 1:16 PM (GMT 0)
Daniel,

Besides all the wonderful suggestion you have been getting I wanted to had the following.

No Death, No Fear: Comforting Wisdom for Life by Thich Nhat Hanh.

It is a easy, good read. You may even find it at the library. I recommend you read it, then if you like purchase via internet and keep for a reference book. You do not have to believe everything you read just another view point.

Now I will put my 2 cents in about my gut feeling. Instead of gaming so much. Split the time you usually game and get outside.
walk somewhere, ride your bike, play with the dog. Something.

My gut is telling me you are being overloaded with "death" in the games, virtual death constantly. You are becoming desensitized to it [death] and your emotional you is fighting back. Saying that it is not normal.

There is so much more to life than the horror of those games. Get out and find something more positive! Volunteer somewhere, dog shelter, nursing home reading to the blind. Something without death! Amazing how bringing a smile to someone elses face, makes you forget about death!

Stay strong and amazed
Peace
Trina
Posted 1/2/2013 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
Happy New Year, Daniel!
Sorry about the delayed response, health issues got in the way.

In college, my friends and I used to write programs that were sort of like MMORPGs but not as complicated. We did not have either the technology or programming facility to write something so complicated.

We were trying to write a program that would predict the decision-making behavior of nation-state leaders. Some of what we wrote was used later in a game called SIMs and another one called Civilization.
I am learning new programming languages like Ruby and Python. It is really weird to go back to programing after 30 years of journalism.

The basic gaming theory that we used to predict economic changes is once again being used by economists. People like to think the world moves forward at an amazing pace but I do not see that.

In other words, I do not believe computer games are a waste of time. Keep your life in balance so that you have plenty of experiences outside of the house even if it is with strangers while walking a couple of city blocks. Just saying "Hello" or "Good morning" counts as contact. The more contact you have with strangers, the easier you will find it to develop a real friendship. After all, friends are just strangers until you get to know them.

I should not have used Call of Duty in relation to my brother's program. Obviously, people did not understand the reference was only on how we can get children to experience language immersion without going to another country. I was not promoting the use of shooting games as part of a school curriculum.

In my brother's game, all of the commands and choices are made in French. For example, you would need French to pick out and design your avatar. It sounds hard but after the first week kids seemed to have a great time with it and race into the classroom to play.

"Do you also play MMORPGs?" I would but right now I am trying to make my programming skills fast enough that I can compete with people not stuck in bed. I hope to run my own web site design business soon. I spend hours doing drills as fast as I can.

RaiderZ looks great! My kids have Diablo III but I do not know how often they play it. I am glad you had a great New Year's with your cousins. We are busy preparing for an ice storm that should hit tomorrow. Ice storms are kind of cool. The whole city shuts down and becomes silent. Everything: trees, street signs, bushes, statues-- everything becomes encased in this beautiful, crystal clear ice.

We put special kevlar boots on our dogs so their feet do not get cut by the ice. The first time you put boots on a dog is really funny. They try to walk without touching the ground! After a minute or two, they walk normally but it always makes me laugh.

Our oldest dog rolls over on his back and puts his feet up for the boots. He remembers how much ice can hurt. Did I tell you I have sled dogs? I used to have 12 but I am down to 2. I had to sell my team. I cannot do any mushing for a few years. Right now I have an old 11-year-old and a puppy. Best book on why crazy people love dog sledding: Winterdance: The Fine Madness of Running the Iditarod by Gary Paulsen.

This book will give you great dreams.

Post Edited (Subzeromambo) : 1/2/2013 4:58:03 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/3/2013 6:47 AM (GMT 0)
Happy New Year everyone.

Yes, if you start talking about something with strangers, some of them are friendly and you will talk a lot with them. :)

So just the fact that the game is in french instead of english? Well I am playing a French private server of Shaiya atm. :) Shaiya is hard, level is hard, items are very expensive, but the game is simple and nice, and after I leave it, I always come back to it. So I decided to play a private server since it is easier and it is in French, and I need to learn French. Yes RaiderZ is cool, graphics are stunning too, and the hack&slash combat and the hybrid class system make it even better, but I've played Shaiya for years and it seems that I always return to it, no matter if the official or a pserver.

I don't kind of like electricity cuts... if it is in the night... I am kind of afraid of the dark. :p And no computer, no TV...

Yes we wanted to put boots on our dog's feet too so that they wouldn't freeze on snow. Anyway, if ice can cut their feet, can't they cut other parts too?
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