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Vacation, realization, and anticipation

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Posted 1/6/2013 4:43 AM (GMT 0)
So I recently got back from a New Year's Eve/ birthday holiday! It was alot of fun... I went a week with no major "episode" so I felt pretty proud
I'm still waiting for an appointment with a counselor, it's been hard to contact one since Christmas season and I feel myself worsening...
I've realized how abusive my ex is.. I used to deny it but he is
Even though we're broken up he still expects "fun" (sorry if we're not allowed to talk about that ._.) and for the first time ever I stood up for myself when he drunk texted me and i said no and told him to stop treating me like this... Well he completely cut me down saying I'm no big loss and I'm just a flaw in his life- something a "minor adjustment" won't solve and that I'm a fool that's missing out
This isn't the first time he's said things like this.. He would always tell me I'm not pretty enough to find another guy and how fat I am only because he knows I've had issues with anorexia before
He's physically abused me twice but nothing serious or "sue" worthy...

I'm really sorry about the rant, but why is he acting like this lately..? And what do I do about it..? I'm a strong believer in "forgive and forget" and I can't say no to someone who comes to me with a problem (which he does alot)
Words of advice? Greatly appreciated..
Posted 1/6/2013 11:04 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there sweetie,

Basically it is that he is not healthy for you to be around. Put yourself first. You don't need the negativity and manipulation in your life. You can forgive and forget, but that doesn't mean you need them in your life. He digs on the deepest problems that you have had. That isn't fair. You don't do that to him. Besides he is your ex. It is time to move on to bigger and better things. Good ridence to bad rubbish. That is what my grandmother use to say. I wish you well...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/6/2013 6:21 PM (GMT 0)
He is your ex. Keep it that way.

You do not need his problems, he will only cause more problems in your life.

He abused you before, why even consider a relationship or anything that he does? Cut him off. Block is numbers, his access to you on Face book, twitter, whatever.

Stay strong
Trina
Posted 1/6/2013 7:11 PM (GMT 0)
I have a huge soft spot for him. He acts like he wants me back and I completely fall for it.

I've already cut contact with him but once he finds out he's going to spread rumours about me again...
He makes everyone else believe I'm the bad guy

I guess it's really no big deal... Just some petty teenage drama :p
But you're right I need to focus on getting better and I will.
Thank you for your support
Posted 1/6/2013 7:33 PM (GMT 0)
if he says or does something and you react in any way, you have to understand that he is controlling you like pulling strings on a puppet. don't let him or anyone else control you. the biggest thing you need to learn is to ignore things. ignore what he says and ignore what other people think about what he says. don't even recognize him as a human. if i really don't like somebody i can stand in line next to them and ignore them as if we never met and they don't exist. you need to give him some of that. take back control of youf life and your thoughts. if your friends listen to his rumors and believe you are the bad guy, make no mistake about it, they are not your friend and are doing you no good. it really don't matter what they think either.
Posted 1/6/2013 7:57 PM (GMT 0)
That's really great advice. I've tried doing that before but he came up to me and started tickling me and tried getting me to break
I think I'll try that again but this time I won't give in no matter what hah.. Thanks again for the advice/listening- it means alot!
Posted 1/6/2013 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
Maybe you should make sure to stay clear of him. Don't be around him. The best we can do is give you advice, it is up to you whether you are going to take it or not. I hope that you do. Take care and I hope that you have a good day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/6/2013 10:20 PM (GMT 0)
perhaps you need to get serious and tell him touching another person without permission is a crime. tell him you don't know him, he is a stranger and if he touches you that will call the police as you would do with any other stranger that touches you.
Posted 1/6/2013 11:11 PM (GMT 0)
I think it would be best to just ignore him and stay away from him. I am afraid if she even talks to him, it will be encouraging him.

Just my opinion...
Posted 1/6/2013 11:54 PM (GMT 0)

getting by said...
I think it would be best to just ignore him and stay away from him. I am afraid if she even talks to him, it will be encouraging him.

Just my opinion...

you are correct. but if they do come in contact i would draw that line in the sand about touching.

Posted 1/7/2013 1:03 AM (GMT 0)
Oh definately. I hope it doesn't even come to that point. If he continues to try to contact, I would get a personal protection order out on him.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/7/2013 1:05 AM (GMT 0)
I do have to come in contact with him everyday I have a class in which I Sit next to him and we do assigned partner work alot and he sits with my group of friends at lunch
I have in fact told him that he was a stranger and i don't know him, although I haven't said any of the other stuff (which is a really good way to lay down the law) but last time I did that was when he slammed me to the wall..

I will treat him as a stranger and say what greatunclebill suggested if and when needed
Posted 1/7/2013 1:11 AM (GMT 0)
He slammed you into a wall? This is uncalled for. You have to stop this. You have to talk to somebody in law enforcement and see what can be done. This is physical abuse. He should never lay a hand on you.

You can't keep putting up with this behavior. Just don't talk to him only about class and only if you have to. Did anybody see him do this?
Posted 1/7/2013 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
My friend saw he played it off as an accident and maybe it was
I was asking for it..
Posted 1/7/2013 1:51 AM (GMT 0)
i wrote and rewrote replies here and deleted them. the only thing that makes any sense to me is for you to speak to a policeman about how you can keep him away from you. i would also make the school administration aware of the situation. your safety has got to come above everything else in your life. i'm afraid and history shows that you will one day wake up in a hospital bed or worse if this is allowed to continue without authorities being involved. does he own weapons? if someone would slam another person against a wall they have serious mental defects and could blow up & do anything. get help now.
Posted 1/7/2013 1:57 AM (GMT 0)

_insert unique name_ said...

I was asking for it..

 

nobody has legal right to lay a hand on another person without their consent, no matter what the circumstances. period. it is called battery. if i hit you thats battery. if i say i'm going to hit you and am physically capable of it, that's assault. if i say i'm going to hit you, then hit you, that's assault and battery. all are crimes. there is no defense called she asked for it.

Posted 1/7/2013 1:58 AM (GMT 0)
Scary that I've heard this before... It just doesn't seem "police-worthy", I feel if I get the police involved it'll be very overdramatic and exaggerating the situation
He's only hurt me twice (physically that is) and has yet to do it again.. Ill treat him as a stranger- someone I have no interest in knowing and if he hurts me again I will get the authorities involved
.-.nervous for this... :/
Posted 1/7/2013 2:31 AM (GMT 0)
Only hurt me twice, is two times too much. If you continue to take this abuse it is up to you. We have given you the best advice that we can. It is up to you now to follow it. I would let the school know what is going on so you don't have anymore assignments with him.
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