Checking In

Somewhat embarrassed to even post but reading others stories - people seem sincere, helpful, and would be cathartic for me to share. 56 years old - depressed - typical symptoms: numb, uninterested in things I used to be,thinking negative thoughts, lack of follow-through - dry heaves every morning, lost appetite and 20 lbs etc...Not suicidal. Going through self choice of career change - could be positive but uncertain and less money and already I overgeneralize about the potential negatives leaving career I have had for 30 years and impact on my family. Have great love and support from them and friends -really no external reason to feel like this. I know it but can't get through thinking about it and being depressed. Never would have viewed depression as a physical condition but this is absolutely the worst I have felt and it has been going on about two months now. Am amazed and impressed by those of you who have been dealing with various levels of depression for years....

Bottom line - for 56 years have been generally happy and felt valuable almost every day until now.In good shape -exercise often. Been to GP - he has had me on 50 mg Zoloft for 2 weeks - maybe a little better but not sure yet. Seeing a counselor next Monday. A year ago I would have laughed at needing treatment for depression - now am willing to do anything. Have broken bones, torn Achilles, and dealt with other various physical injuries and always knew I would get better. I don't have that same feeling now...

Thanks for listening and access to the site and others stories. It helps just to write things down.

Have you had a physical lately or talked to a doctor about the weightloss or do you think it is stress? It sounds llike you have a lot on your plate right now. I am concerned about the lack of appetite, dry heaves and weight loss. But I lost a lot of weight when I was under stress.

Keep posting and know we all care. Do the things that you need to make yourself feel good, like Mags said. Music, walking, it all helps. Meditation is good.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen

Bewell, good for you for posting. It's important to connect with others and I'm glad you felt a catharsis. Keep it up.

I also think sometimes that there seems to be no reason for my depression. I feel guilty about that sometimes when I take a look at my life and family and friends and wonder how I could not be happy, like I don't have the right to feel unhappy. But I have to remind myself that I shouldn't feel guilty. Things don't always makes sense and fit perfectly like puzzle pieces in life. We are doing enough by giving it our best effort to get better.