Desperately need HELP!!

Hi all,


My last post on here was all chirpy and positive. Since then, i have been admitted to hospital and on a IV drip for 36 hours, and then i almost was admitted to the psychiatric unit but my parents thannkfully said no way. I have trouble getting out of bed, i dont have the energy to do anything, i feel ugly, alone, and useless. My heart aches for everything i cannot have and i am on the edge of the cliff right now being held back by nothing. I cannot cry anymore. I feel pain. I feel misunderstood. I find it so darn hard to do anything at all. Even the small things like get out of bed, shower, brush my hair, and brush my teeth. I am banned from everything and have only managed to come on here for a lil. Im not meeant to be though. I dont know what to do. I dont wanna see my councillor, i dont really wanna talk to anyone. I am, completely lost. Im screaming out so loud, yet no one is looking up. All i do all day is go from my bed, to the couch. Watch movies, and eat.



My life is worthless. I see no future. I have no future. I have no desire. I have no will. I need help but dont want it cuz i know i dont deserve it. I am a monster. I miss everyone. I hate my life. I hate myself. I am ready to leave this world. I have tried, yet failed. Im lost and have no guidance. No one cares about me. No one understands me, they all think, oh boo hoo her. She is just a 15 year old teenager, she doesnt know what real pain is. She doesnt know what it is like to hurt and suffer. I DO! More than anyone will realize. *******
I dont know what to do anymore. Honestly. I am not living. I am existing and im done.



- The Girl Who Hurts More Than You Know :(

Post Edited By Moderator (BnotAfraid) : 1/21/2013 7:04:41 PM (GMT-7)

am sending much healing compassion to you netball. i have been there, and come through, so will you. keep posting.

with healing compassion,
jamie

You need to talk to your theapists, you need to get it out no matter how ugly it is, please as you are worth so much, you do have a life, and a good one waiting out there for you and you will get it.
There is good out there in this world. Consider talking with your councelors/ theapists...
You have a future in this world, stay with us and reach for your dreams, you can do this.
You will be a good lawyer. You have others out there waiting for you for you help...you can achieve your dreams...you can...

netball, people do care about you. God loves you, why we have suffer like this i dont know, but your not alone, just remember that, your not alone out there. I will pray for you, listen to the advice given to you here in the posts....with love and compassion God bless you sweetie

Hi Jess,

You are so young. I went through a really dark period when I was sixteen due to some life-altering events and almost ended my life. I am so glad I didn't!! I am 31 now and have a great life with so many gifts. Recently I was diagnosed with Lyme disease and I have severe anxiety and depression that I am fighting through.

Please PLEASE keep fighting. There are so many people who love you and want you to be here. You are NOT worthless and you are meant to be here. Even though it does not seem like it but you WILL get out of this depression and be happy again. It IS possible, the dark cloud will lift.

I do not know why we have to go through things like this. But I truly believe God has a plan for us (and I never used to be religious at all!). But this difficult struggle you are experiencing now might mean that you will help someone in the same position later in your life. That is how I look at it. It is not a punishment, but a difficult storm that will pass and give you the wisdom to help others and make you stronger as a person.

Lean on others for support as much as you need. Your family loves you. DO NOT GIVE UP.

Praying and thinking of you. Keep us posted.....

Thanks all. I will be going to the police about a guy who sexually abused me. Long story, but he confessed to me through text, i told my parents and brother in law who is a police officer and he said to tell the police and all. So i will. He hurt me. very much and i will NOT let him get away with it like Mike did.

Love Jess

Be strong and stay strong!

I don't believe you are allowed to promote blogs here, admin has been notified. This is your second post promotiing your blog. We are here soley to support eachother. Advertising is against the rules also.

Thank you