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Posted 2/8/2013 7:03 PM (GMT 0)
I've found myself feeling more and more depressed and unmotivated. Showing more signs of avoidance depression. After hours of late night thinking (because I either sleep forever or don't sleep at all) I think I need to get out of where I am. Not because it's violent or abusive or anything horrible like that.

I just can't deal with the environment anymore. At the same time I have nowhere else to go, in a practical sense. I can't afford to live on my own, maybe just barely with a roommate but with that my options are limited.

There's also the emotional guilt I would feel if I left. The...house politics...(as I like to call them) are just complicated, I can't just get up and go.

- Rainy/DD skull
Posted 2/8/2013 7:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hey DangerDash,

I feel the same way you do, may I ask how old you are? I'm in my mid 20s and I feel stuck with my life too. I feel like everyone around me has such great lives and they're doing exactly what they want to be doing and I'm stuck at home working a job I don't love, has nothing to do with what I studied in school, and I can't do the things I want to do because I don't have the money for it. I thought my always feeling down was just because of the point where I am in my life but I'm starting to realize it's a whole lot more than that.
Posted 2/8/2013 7:32 PM (GMT 0)
We all have to make personal choices about what is important.

When I was in my 20's living on my own, I did not have cell phone cost or internet, only car and insurance. I remember barely making the monthly utility bills for lots of months.

We decide to do what we think is right for us at the moment, you guys have one thing I didn't, the knowledge of your diagnosis. This is a powerful tool in your decisions.

the best thing I can offer is experience and suggest you list your priorities and their costs prior to moving out on your own. You will have to give up something.

As for not doing what you studied in school? Most people do not start out that way, only few are lucky enough. this gives you a goal and something wonderful to look forward to in life! Don't give up the dream. Work towards it. You will have wonderful experiences along the way.

Stay strong.
Peace
Triina
Posted 2/8/2013 8:06 PM (GMT 0)
I'm 25 with Cerebral Palsy.

It just feels like a total cluster(expletive) with the situation I'm in right now. I'm living with my father and step mother currently and I just...can't deal with it anymore. I already pay them rent as well as my car insurance money so I'm already giving over money.

I know I'd lose some of the luxuries I have already but honestly, I'm already very minimalistic as it is, which is where the guilt part is. I had to move in with them on a sudden moment so it wasn't planned and I wasn't living here previously. They gave me a room and more things than I had asked for so...I'd feel bad with throwing that in their face.

As far as expenses goes, I've tallied up the things I need versus the amount of money I have and the end result just isn't pleasant.

- Rainy/DD
Posted 2/8/2013 8:36 PM (GMT 0)
Danger,

Try not to be so hard on yourself. We all have our own paths to follow and at times some are very hard. It is NOT your fault!

One day at a time!

Stay strong
Peace
Trina
Posted 2/9/2013 5:11 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the support BnotAfraid. I appreciate it.

JB1, your consolation is exactly what I do not want to be. I think that is why it bothers me so much. I don't want to be that example.
Posted 2/9/2013 11:50 AM (GMT 0)
Danger,

We have to take the bad with the good sometimes. You may have to work for awhile to change your situation. But it could be much worse and you should acknowledge that. It will make it easier for you if you do... Sometimes in life we get in situations that we don't like, but we work though them. It isn't the problem, but how you handle it. Try to stay calm, cool and collective. I hope things get better soon.

Hugs, Karen
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