I have a really hard time telling my parents things they have done to upset me. Growing up they were the adults so what they said was pretty much all that was going to be heard sometimes we tried to open up and mom called it crocodile tears and as a kid you do not know what that means i just knew it was not the response i was looking for. Or if we spoke up she would just tell us to shut up so our feelings were never heard. I thought about talking to my school counselor at the time but was in fear that my parents would get in trouble or the possibility of social services taking us away so i learned to keep things to myself. Now as an adult I can no longer hold it all in i was thinking about going to a therapist but in my family that means your weak or crazy and i do not want to be looked at as a psycho. I talk to my husband just a little i do not want to burden him and bring his spirits down so that is why i am really considering talking to a professional. I have to learn how to release whatever it is holding me back from living a happy life i need to learn how to forgive but i have to admit it is hard to forgive people that has hurt me badly. I remember when i first starting dating my husband sometimes we would have a disagreement he would try to understand what was bothering me but i would just sit there in silence as if he was not talking to me i mean i really had a hard time talking about my feelings the words were there and i wanted to tell him but for some reason my mouth would not open so i have tons of journals it is easy for me to write down what i am thinking and its safer for one i dont have to worry about anyone's feelings getting hurt and sometimes i am just plain ashame or certain situations so who talks about that stuff thats what i am thinking.