Hi, I haven't been on the forum for awhile. I posted a couple of times a few months ago but tonight I'm having scary flashbacks. I'm a returning student and of all things I'm taking Abnormal Psychology. We've studied a chapter on depression and of course I have all the symptoms etc., just in case I thought I didn't have depression.
Now we're on the topic of suicide and I hate to admit it but in a time of extreme emotional pain, I impulsively attempted it when I was younger. It was a cry for help and I didn't have a lot of support but I did go see a therapist and have been off and on since. I AM NOT SUICIDAL NOW, let me just say that. But one of the examples in the book was exactly what I did but that person did die.
I think back on that time in my life and I am in a different place and enjoying school and all but one constant is that I still isolate myself and don't have many friends. I have a couple of friends that I can talk to (they live in another state) and my therapist. This chapter talks about
the older you get the more likely that you may commit suicide if you have a mental health issue. It talks about
people who cut themselves etc. It's just very scary for me to read cause I've been divorced forever and don't have kids so it's just me. I hate that I have the same feelings of isolation and loneliness that I did so long ago. The flashbacks take me back to a time where I was in a relationship that was very toxic, not abusive, but very, very codependent. Obviously, my depression at the time was out of control and I was hanging on precariously and couldn't see the forest for the trees, as they say. Now, it's spring break and I don't do well without a schedule so I'm already anxious about
that and about
being disciplined in my studying to get everything done. I guess I'm just going to hurry through this chapter and do what I need to do. All the work has to be done by tomorrow anyway. Thanks for listening and I'm so glad I can come here and vent. I know I'm not alone. Peace.