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Posted 3/21/2013 11:05 PM (GMT 0)
I can't help not feeling depressed about being unemployed. I've had interviews, and been proactive about finding openings, but I haven't had any job offers since I moved about six weeks ago. It's hard not to get depressed when I know that I'm qualified for the jobs I'm interviewing for. That must mean that I didn't get hired for more personal reasons.

I have also withdrawn a lot in the last week. My roommate has been making friends and being social, and I'm being anti-social. I feel like a loser because I've lived in this city before. There are people I *could* call up, but by the same token they haven't reached out to me either. I've been clinging to my boyfriend, and even though I know I'm being needy and turning him off - I can't help it.

I don't have control over whether someone hires me or not, so it's hard not to take it personally or feel rejected when I get passed over for jobs. It perpetuates all the negative perceptions I have of myself. If I were smart and capable, then surely someone would've offered me a job by now. I'm really good at getting interviews, just not job offers. The frustrating part is, I can't (honestly!) think of anything I'm doing wrong. Even in the interviews for jobs I realized I wouldn't want even if they were offered to me, which is terrible! Great. I don't even want your job, but it doesn't matter because I'm not good enough for you to even offer it to me.

Rejection, rejection, rejection. Honestly, I don't know how much more I can take! I don't want to drive my boyfriend away, and he's being incredibly understanding/supportive, but obviously this is not sustainable long-term and something has to give.

I'm not interested in anything or extroverted or motivated enough to find a hobby. I feel like I have smaller bites to take before I can chew off joining an activity or finding a group of like-minded people, but at the same time that's obviously what's missing. Human interaction. I'm overly attached to my boyfriend because ... I don't have anything else to distract me? I don't know. I just want balance and stability. My roommate and I even found an apartment, which I thought would be a load off. Instead, I'm worrying more. We haven't been hanging out that much, and we only moved here like a month ago! What if we end up hating each other? What if it's terrible? I don't want to depress her or be a debbie downer. The friends she's made here aren't people I am attracted to or have a lot in common with, so I've avoided spending time with them. I know beggars can't be choosy, but I'd rather be alone than to force myself to hang out with a certain group of people because it's better than nothing.

How do I put space between me and my boyfriend without making it really obvious I'm doing it because I'm überscared that if I don't he'll leave me? I feel like I've wrecked things because now he knows how pathetic my life is and is totally turned off. If I am less clingy now, it's not like he's suddenly going to think that I've gotten my life together and have found an interest other than him. It really scares me to see that written out, but that's how I feel right now. It sounds creepy, but he's the only thing I'm interested in right now. I wish that wasn't true, but it is.

I feel really worthless right now...
Posted 3/22/2013 12:55 AM (GMT 0)
I just read on Thought Catalog that having a jobs means being able to say:

"I fit somewhere in this enormous spectrum, I have been deemed capable of contributing something concrete to my community and beaten out competitors for the privilege of doing so".

It feels pretty crummy to be unemployed and feel the exact opposite.

Why even try?
Posted 3/22/2013 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Depression180,

I really liked your post. Very informative and upbeat. Thank you. Welcome to the depression forum.

I hope that you stick around. Feel free to start your own thread about yourself so we can get to know you.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/26/2013 1:04 AM (GMT 0)
Having a really bad day today.

Feeling more hopeless and helpless about being unemployed.

I've had several interviews, but no job offers. I have only gotten follow-up communication from one job - a phone call informing me that they had "decided to move forward with another candidate".

It's difficult not to take it personally that no job that I've interviewed for has gotten back to me - especially since three of them told me specific dates they would contact me by.

My parents are essentially supporting me until I find a job, and it feels awful. I want nothing more than to be independent, self-sufficient and generally content with my life. I feel like such a failure. I'm still so depressed - even on stupid, super-expensive Viibryd.

Either I'm a giant burden on someone, or I purposely avoid people because I know I'll just depress them too.
Posted 3/26/2013 2:03 AM (GMT 0)
Can you find a part time job, or a lesser paying job until you find the one that you want? Something to get you out there where you may even hear of a better job that you will get? I am just kind of brainstorming. Keep trying, never give up. Call the places that were suppose to call you on those specific days. Keep them knowing you are interested.

Good luck...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/27/2013 10:45 PM (GMT 0)
thanks, jb1.

i think the more cynical i get, the more i alienate myself from everyone, even on here. i am scared that i come across as whiny and obnoxious. i have reached out to two different temp agencies, and have been proactive about checking in regularly to make sure they consider me for any assignments. i've been to a direct-hire place, and put my resume in for a few different jobs through them. i've applied to numerous jobs with the city, state and federal government. maybe it doesn't sound like it, but i'm trying really hard!!! i used to be really good at not doing very much and then wallowing and saying "poor me, nobody likes me". i'm depressed because i stopped doing that, and things are STILL terrible! i'm trying my darndest, but so is everyone else, so getting a job is totally random and not based on my skills. it doesn't help that bad things keep happening either (just found out that my grandma has pneumonia), but i know that's just life. it just really sucks that there hasn't been ANYTHING good in a long time to balance out the crummy stuff. there is usually at least one person out of those who I reach out to who returns my call or text or whatever. i know that none of them knows that everyone else didn't get back to me, but when everyone's busy at the same time it makes me feel really lonely.
Posted 3/28/2013 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear your having a tough time BlueMoon. Not truly knowing all the circumstances of your situation as far as the occupation/field and availability. JB1 and Karen gave some great ideas. I would like to suggest a few ideas that I'm sure that would help you "besides the job which I know that you desperately need!" I'm thinking at this point you could benefit getting your mind off this burden. Try walking, bike riding, church, any activities that brought you enjoyment before these problems came to you.
Focus on the things that put a smile on your face, even if it's for a short time its worth it to have a mental break. I enjoy a comedy, stand up, walking my boxer etc.
Another thing I do is remind myself that no matter how bad things get, it's not very hard to find someone who's worse off than you.
Good luck and wish you the best!
Posted 3/29/2013 12:20 AM (GMT 0)
One of the things I learned about depression is that you don't understand why others don't know you need help.

The people you know don't call you simply because they have their own lives. When you moved away, they just did what anybody does and now that you're back, they already have their habits

Not any other reason.

Some may not have time for another friend. Don't take it personally. But I'd wager that some will be glad to hear from you.

Now.... if you were to call them and talk about yourself and your problems and all the things that are wrong and on and on and on...

Well, would you want to be with that person?

This is not a certainty and I am not any kind of counsellor, but I AM a depression survivor (I had two rounds). Just think about it. The less you think about yourself any your problems and listen to what is happening in the lives of others, you get a chance to hop on to their trolley.

Now, I also have to say that I might (probably) not have fared so well without the antidepressants of the time. (Prozac) So consider the benefit of chemical balance. 

Here's the suggestion, and it will take real effort: call anyone you think you'd like to talk to any time you feel like it. Be brave. Leave a message. And when they answer, ask them about THEM. Don't even talk about you. You have a lot of catching up to do, maybe it'd be nice to have coffee. (If they are polite, they may eventually ask about you, and then you say things are OK but you'd really like to talk and maybe reconnect. It's OK to let 'em know you are looking for a job. I've been there, done that. So have millions of others. There is no shame in being in the position of finding a job.)

They might decline. They might be busy, they might be in the midst of a divorce, they might be suffering severe depression or they may just have become beeeaches. I can't predict what will happen, but just maybe you'll start to reconnect.

Then dress nice, listen to your favorite music on the way, don't drink or do any recreational drugs and be a great listener. Go ahead and share, but not until after she/he has.

You do need treatment, I think, but you are here and I can identify with the hopelessness. I don't know what will help, but maybe I can give you some food for thought and lob a prayer your way.

Just know that there are people that overcome it, and it's beatable.

And try to find a decent doc who can help you get the meds that can cure you.

Just my advice.

I wish you well and I will send a prayer your way.

 

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