New, Have Lost Hope and in Need of Guudance

I am extremely sad and have been very emotional lately. Winter is always a difficult time for me. I have cut myself off from many of my friends and have found it extremely difficult to go out in public and function normally. Really am concerned for my well being. A counseling appointment has been made after almost a year since my last one but it is not till July. Am afraid
for the time till then.

Diagnosed with MDD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Hormonal Imbalance, Pre Diabetic, Hirutism and some other conditions. Know part of my physical pain is linked to my emotional and mental pain. I have been living with a male friend and I help take care of his 4 year old daughter for a year and a half. The girl's mother is not very dependable and reliable with taking her, so I have to fill the gap.

It has gotten to the point where I cannot do anything for myself, as the girl always wants me to constantly play with her, cleaning/cooking needs to be done or I find myself doing a task the father should be doing but doesn't because he is admittedly lazy. I am absolutely miserable and know I need to get out of this environment.

The young girl does not behave for me on many occasions and not only leads to frustration for me but lately I have started crying when this happens, which is just a horrible situation.

I cannot heal from my troubles here and have lost the incredible optimism I once had. Any advice would be appreciated.

How can I get past the guilt and fear of leaving this situation? Currently I am seeking community resources to guide me through this because I am need of some help, plus it is overwhelming to me. Also have had to tell my family about my trouble, even though our relationship has been strained.

I am extremely scared of how my male friend will respond when he is made aware of my plans to move. Know that him allowing me to live here (I have helped out financially as well as household wise) was very kind and I am extremely grateful for it. However, the time is overdue and I cannot do this anymore.

Thank you for reading this.

Hi this is my first time on this site, but I am reaching out because I don't know what to do... Im a single mother with one daughter she is turning 4 Saturday.  Im unemployed, and I don't have many friends, and not much family support.  I have Lupus, and I suffer from severe depression. Sometimes Im up and when Im down I am really down.  I am angry, crying, and sad, and my daughter is seeing me this way.  I want to give up, I know I need help, but I don't want to loose my daughter. People don't get how my mood changes so fast, I know im not crazy, I just feel like Im loosing it.  I don't want my daughter to grow up hating me.  If anyone can give me any advice or help, I live in Philadelphia Im not sure if there's any agencies that can help me get better.  Thank you for your time.

Thank you guys for your support and your advice:) I will definitely keep you posted.

I greatly appreciate your advice and support. It has become very clear that I need to remedy the situation and move away from this living situation. I was actually able to get a counseling appointment for this past Thursday. Very grateful for it, even though it was difficult to talk about things. Know it is essential to move beyond what has happened.

The counselor wants me to meet with the doctor so I can be put on something to help with my depression. I did not get to talk to her about my anxiety and uneasiness when I go out in public. Know that is important to tell her about. We will talk about that when I see her again for my next session coming up.

She also told me of a housing program for females in difficult situations that may be a good match for my situation. I am going to be calling them Monday to get information. Please send positive energy and good luck my way for that. Thank You!

With the warming weather, I have been doing my best to get outside and get some walking/fresh air. Know exercise and movement are very beneficial.

Much gratitude for all that you do for everyone who copes with many of lifes difficulties and depression.

Hi Owlsong,

Raising kids is difficult. Especially when they throw a temper tantrum. You have to be firm, yet gentle. A difficult task at times. But with practice you will be fine. But I understand how you feel.

You will get through this week. Keep posting and know that we all care and understand how you are feeling. Maybe you both could use a time out. lol... Maybe a nice relaxing bath is in order. Try to distress...

I hope your counseling appointment goes well. Make sure you bring all matters up.

Hugs, Karen