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Posted 5/30/2013 2:19 AM (GMT 0)
I've been depressed for at least the past few years - since I had my son in 2009 - and probably before that too. Now I am working full time at a job where I am treated like total garbage. It's reeking havoc on my soul, and I don't know what to do. I can't seem to find a way out of this hell.

I've been taking Lexapro for several months and have been soo sleepy and foggy on it that I started to wean myself down. I was taking 20 mg but went down to 15mg about 2 weeks ago. I'm not as foggy but still sleepy and WAY more depressed.

I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job - I can barely get out of bed, and I'm so depressed and desperate. I don't know what to do. My husband takes care of my son mostly, and he works full time too. I don't know what I would do without him, but I know how much he's burdened by it. In fact, he's been getting depressed now too.

Please help?? I'm not sure what I'm asking for but I just know I need help.
Posted 5/30/2013 3:21 AM (GMT 0)
Wow, Carl. Thanks so much for your kind words. Your words made me feel like there is some hope for me out there. I was on Cymbalta last year and started getting sleepy on it too. It seemed to work fine when I was on a lower dose, and then my psychiatrist raised the dose and I felt bad. I had a rapid heart rate and other strange symptoms that scared me.
I stopped seeing the psychiatrist because I just started to think that maybe I could go without the drugs. I got my PCP to prescribe me something, and he gave me Lexapro. I'm thinking I should go back to that original psychiatrist if he's not too pissed at me and get some advice.
Trying to keep myself from taking the work stuff too seriously. Strangely enough, they're mean, but they're also considering me for a promotion. The meanness is just part of their "culture". I don't get it :(
Thanks again,
Kim
Posted 5/30/2013 9:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kim,

and welcome to the forum.

you typed: I'm thinking I should go back to that original psychiatrist if he's not too pissed at me and get some advice.

Well, number one, the doc will not be mad at you, he will welcome you back more than likely! two: I THINK IT IS A WONDERFUL IDEA YOU DO THIS. PCP's are good, but they do not know about mental health.

I am on 120mg of cymbalta, 60 twice a day with abilify 10mg. I just started the abilify. I have repressed memories popping on 15 years of abuse. This helps me, I have never been on your medication.

I believe you must treat depression with the respect the illness deserves. It is an illness, just like any other. If you an an infection you would take antibotics etc.... However, it is a manageable illness that can also go into remission with medication and "coping skills".

When you go back to your psych doc ask him about CBT or DBT and see what he thinks is best for you. In the meantime, get outside and walk, a10 min walk a day does wonders for the mind! Especially with a crappy job.

Keep posting Kim, we are here to listen to and support you the best we know how.

Peace and strength.
Trina
Posted 5/30/2013 10:17 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kim,

Welcome to the forum. I see you got some excellent advice from Trina and Carl. I was thinking you might want to talk to the doc about a different med like wellbutrin or something similar. Wellburtin is a stimulant type of antidepressant and wouldn't make you sleepy. Maybe suggest that to your psych doc.

I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 5/30/2013 5:09 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Karen and Trina for your great advice. I'm just called my psychiatrist and left a message to get an appointment. I'm home from work today, and afraid to go back to work. I'm just so fragile right now.

I appreciate your support and will keep you posted.

Thanks, Kim
Posted 5/30/2013 8:40 PM (GMT 0)
Very proud of you for calling the doc. Great first step. Be 100% honest when you go. It will help get you on the right med.

try not to worry about work at the moment, that will straighten out on its own once you are feeling better. You might even think of taken sick leave for a few weeks if you have to. Talk to the doc about that also.

Peace
Trina
Posted 5/30/2013 8:47 PM (GMT 0)
I am proud of you too. Sometimes all it takes is that first step...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 5/30/2013 9:08 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome, Kim~

It seems that everyone has provided great advise already, especially about checking with your original doctor again. I just wanted to welcome you and offer some support and encouragement!! Praying for peace and comfort . . .
Posted 5/30/2013 9:11 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, I'll ask him about those things. It's hard for me to be 100% honest with doctors - I've had a lot of medical problems in my life, and don't really trust them a whole lot. I do find myself understating some of my symptoms or problems because I'm afraid of being thought of as crazy or something.

I will try my best to be honest with this guy though. He seemed decent enough when I met him before that I should be honest with him. It's almost become a habit with me to shine doctors on.... bad, I know.

Thanks for being so supportive and non-judgmental. This is the most real I've ever been about my problems with anyone. I guess I'm just so tired of bullcrapting my way through life.
Kim
Posted 5/30/2013 11:17 PM (GMT 0)
Being honest with others and being honest with yourself is really the easiest way to go. That is what works for me anyway. Thanks for posting and sharing. It is hard, I know... But everybody here is so understanding and not judgmental. It is nice to have a safe place to go.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 5/31/2013 4:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Carl,
I love the story! I was recently in the ER for something unrelated to depression, and the doc went through my list of meds. Then he said something about the Lexapro as my "happy pill". I was rather stunned by that remark, actually, and made some kind of joke like "gotta be happy" or some lame thing.

Amazing how even doctors can be such morons. I work in the medical industry in California, though, and have seen all sorts of crap in medicine.

Haven't heard back from the shrink yet so I might have to contact another one. In the meantime, I brought my dose of Lexapro back up to 20mgs. I had lowered it to 15mg on my own anyway. I'd rather be foggy and slow than be depressed like this. It's just terrible!

Have a great night :)
Kim
Posted 5/31/2013 10:02 AM (GMT 0)
Trying,

One thing that I have learned in life, especially about folks in health care. Humans have a uncanny ability to become hardened and insensitive to survive. That doc was most likely doing his best at bedside manner, sadly.

Self medicating is always a bad idea, communication with the doctor, no matter how hard it is for us, or frustrating (which it is at times) it is always, always safer.

Let us know how you make out getting hold of the doc, remember this is a holiday week, Memorial Day, so perhaps you might have to wait until Monday.

We do have resources at the top of the depression forum should you need some numbers for someone to talk to; available 24/7; until you see the doc.

Peace and strength
Trina
Posted 10/24/2013 5:42 PM (GMT 0)
Update -
Thank you, everyone, for being there when I needed you. I did finally go to my doctor and he put me back on the Cymbalta and lowered my Lexapro dose. He also gave me some Clonopin temporarily for anxiety so I could sleep. I felt better right away, and am still taking the Cymbalta with a little of the Lexapro and am seeing him regularly.
I'm so glad that I went back to him. He was totally understanding. I understand now that I have depression and that I need to remain on treatment or I will relapse. I'm going to stop playing games with it.
Thanks again!
Kim
Posted 10/24/2013 7:37 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds like you are learning. I am glad to hear that. Depression sucks, and it is serious. But it can be controlled.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/24/2013 8:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hey

Just wanted to say welcome to our house!

It sounds like you are getting on the right track with meds and your doc.

Keep posting....I am on 60 mgs of cymbalta after struggling thru probably 15 other meds and it is working (mostly) and the other part is up to me..  never give up!!

Mags

Posted 10/25/2013 6:22 AM (GMT 0)
Kim, I'm glad you're trying cymbalta again. I used to take it and it was the greatest medication I've ever taken for my depression. I wish I could have stayed on it!

In my family depression is a dirty word. My psychiatrist believes I've been depressed since my teens. My family would say everyone gets sad, to work through it, medication is only for crazy people. It takes courage for us to admit our illness. Taking that step to get help makes you a hero to all the others who struggle to admit that they've been hiding from depression and just scratching by.
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