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Why is he so scared?

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Depression
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Posted 7/1/2013 7:40 PM (GMT 0)
I've been telling my bf for the last few months that I'm depressed. All he's said is that he can't afford to keep sending me to doctors. He sees me crying everyday and he must think its normal bc he has made no effort to help.me. I'm really struggling right now. havent been able to have a steady job and I left school .or too long ago. I know finances cause stress but he must see a change in me. How come he doesn't care enough to seek help for me? Also, he knows I deal with depression and yet he continues to use those times against me as if too say.I'm lazy.or not motivated. I've tired to get him to understand this isint in my control. Idk....maybe I'm being selfish. Why is he so against me getting treated with medication? He's a really smart guy so his my way or the highway attitude is getting old.
Posted 7/1/2013 7:50 PM (GMT 0)
lalbelle,

sweetie, you don't have to start a new thread for every reply, you can reply on the same posting that started prior. Just FYI

You need to try the moodgym link that Karen sent you. I am sure that this will help you, and in turn help your situation.

It sounds like your boyfriend is just frustrated because he doesn't understand the situation and the financial burden is becoming a hardship.

PLease try the moodgym. It will help if you apply yourself to it.

Peace
Trina'
Posted 7/1/2013 8:09 PM (GMT 0)
If he can't afford to keep paying your doctor bills, he probably can't help it and is just stating a fact.

Trina is right, try not to start any new threads, stay on the same one. Thanks...

I hope that things get better, can you get any help from the government for your mental health needs?

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/1/2013 8:39 PM (GMT 0)
K won't start any.new threads. I don't know what's wrong with.me. I've been driving really recklessly. It's pouring outside and for some reason I was driving 65 in a 45. I've been doing that a lot lately, Driving recklessly est getting in an accident prob wouldn't phase me. But part of me doesn't care. I have this anger boiling nside of me but I also feel shaky. I did just quit smoking cigarettes.
Posted 7/1/2013 8:54 PM (GMT 0)
Be careful while driving, you might feel that you don't care, but if you hurt somebody else, you would. Please be careful.

Quitting smoking is hard. Your nerves are probably a little on edge. Take life one day at a time. I am proud of you for not smoking. Keep up the good work!

Take care, be careful...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/2/2013 12:53 PM (GMT 0)
From what you just said, it sounds like he doesn't have the caring gene. It's really hard to find guys who would care for their lady, but at the same time women sometimes prefer guys who are macho, and macho guys normally has ego that is so big that there's not enough space for anything else.

I am assuming that neither of you have insurance. If there any facilities nearby that does probono medical clinic? This would probably be your best bet.

Option B, roll into the ER claiming your having a nervous breakdown and may be on the verge of something dreadful. I know even public hospital is not free, but at least you can then appeal to get the bill paid off slowly.

As for your BF... think about it carefully, if this what you want for the next 5 years? 10 years? If you're already sick of his my way or the highway attitude, what chances does it has for the relationship to be a healthy one?
Posted 7/2/2013 8:17 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks! Ive been trying all the suggestions! Its nice to have somewhere to vent.
Posted 7/2/2013 9:24 PM (GMT 0)
This is a great song for Depression! By Nathalie Merchant. I think she sums it up nicely!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtZYvgG3ajY

Nathalie Merchant: I may know the word
Posted 7/2/2013 10:24 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for sharing, I Love Natalie!!!
Posted 7/3/2013 7:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all. Wondering what my next step should be. I just dont feel like I'm making much progress w/o antidepressants. However, I would love to be okay without them. Generally, I have no energy. I can't focus on things like I want to. I feel scatterbrained and the time I have with my bf seems unfulfilling. I want to change. I don't see myself improving on willpower alone. I don't enjoy reading and yet I feel so restless. I want to get a job and continue school butI think this would ease my mind. However, my body seems to be on its own schedule. I take fish oil during day and melatonin at night in the hopes I could regulate my body clock again. It's just not enough (in my opinion). I've been with my bf for 3 years and we have never had such strange relationship problems. My loss of sexual intrest is taking its toll on the both. Of us. I guess my question is do you think an antidepressant could help me gain control back of my life? I have tried many, stopped many. I just don't want that label. I think having a label of "depressed" only makes it more depressing.
Posted 7/3/2013 7:28 PM (GMT 0)
I just feel like I can't keep going on this way. It's exhausting.
Posted 7/3/2013 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
Depression is not a "Label" it is an illness and needs to be respected as one just like any other illness. It will get worse without medication if a doctor prescribed medication for you in the past.

Depression can be caused by many things, however if it is a chemical embalance of the brain, a person needs medications to help balance that out. Coping skills will do the rest.

Peace and courage
Trina
Posted 7/3/2013 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
I think what makes me weary of meds is that they will tell you, "If you have diabetes you would take meds for that. I totally understand that, but how do you prove medically someone is chemically imbalanced? I wish (and I hope n the future) they make brain scans a part of the treatment.
Posted 7/3/2013 9:00 PM (GMT 0)
The only thing you can do is try them. If you keep feeling bad even with counseling, and self help books, or change of environment, generally it is a chemical imbalance. But the only way you can really tell is to try the medications and see if they work. Depression is a disease, just like diabetes. It needs help to get your mind regulated and balanced. I hope you try medication.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/3/2013 9:12 PM (GMT 0)
My parents have a pretty big problem with me taking medication. I know I'm 30 so technically they have no control over this, but I could tell them until I'm blue in the face....wouldnt matter. I don't know if they've watched too many docemtaries or what but they would be upset to find out I was trying meds again. Anyway...there are a few reasons they are prob. worried One being that they had to see me in hospital after having bad reaction to them. Anyway, its hard to go the med route without their support. I'm going to try them again but do you have any idea why they would be.so against it. My guess...they are just scared.
Posted 7/3/2013 10:03 PM (GMT 0)
Do you go to a counselor? That would be a good place to start. Talk to them, see what they say.

And yes you are 30 and in charge of your life. Saying your parents don't agree to me could be a way you are trying not to try them. Kind of an excuse. But it is your life, I would talk to a counselor though, they would be able to help you move forward in your life.

Best wishes

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/4/2013 9:21 AM (GMT 0)
Jean welcome to the forum. I would suggest for privacy and safety reasons, to take your last name off your ID and signature.

Peace
Trina
Posted 7/8/2013 3:22 PM (GMT 0)
Didnt realize how bad this had become. Lately I wake up and Im in a panic. I feel like Im losing my mind. I wake up from deep dream sleeps. I cant focus still! My dr. did give me that Anafranil prescription....Im not even tempted to ill it. Firstly, I dont have OCD. Secondly, its an MAOI drug which means it may have serious interactions with many other things. My dr. told my even one glass of wine was bad and I disagree. As a female one glass of red wine is my saving grace sometimes not to mention its healthy. I really hate this dr. I want to change drs but its hard to find one taking new patients. I understand that some people dont drink...thats fine. Im from a family where wine isint considered a negative thing. Why does having Depression make you feel like youre losing your mind?
Posted 7/8/2013 4:07 PM (GMT 0)
A glass of red wine may be healthy but not to somebody with depression. Your doctor is right. It is a depressant, so it makes you feel worse.

Maybe you should try the medication, or find another doctor to prescribe you something else. I know MAOI's are scary sounding, but you need something to help you. Often when a medication is prescribed for something, it helps with something else. I take abilify, which is for bipolar, and I am not bipolar. But it is also a mood stabilizer and it helps me. So just because the anafranil was for ocd, doesn't mean it cant' help you. You may have a little obsessive thinking and the doctor might think that this will help you. But by all means, try a different doctor if you aren't satisfied.

I think having depression makes you feel like you are losing your mind because it makes you think abnormally. I think we all have felt that way at one time or another. I know I have...

I hope that things get better for you soon. Take care of the depression. Look for another doctor if this one isn't helping you in your opinion. In my opinion, I would try doing what they are saying and see how I felt. Something has to help.

Hang in there and keep posting.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/8/2013 8:56 PM (GMT 0)
I am new to this sight...I can say with a little age on me...you are the only one that has to live inside your body. Nobody else is going to completely understand and sometimes they can even be cruel which pushes us further down if we allow it. It took me forever to realize there is no shame in medicine...if it works...then I needed it!! Like any other disease you wouldn't leave untreated...we cant ignore our pain anymore. please get and take help...3 fold...counseling is great...medicine...and faith in something greater...:) bless u
Posted 7/8/2013 10:30 PM (GMT 0)
I guess it makes sense that when you're depressed you don't want to do the things you used to. It makes simple things feel harder then they should. I think I'm a pretty smart person, but going back to school a few months ago felt like an impossible task. I was doing well and then I felt extremely overwhelmed. I used to be a 3.5 student. In 2001 my struggle with depression began. I took Zoloft for 2 years. It seemed to help alot Then slowly things returned to the old days. By that point I was so useless I couldn't even voice my concerns to my Dr. This was around 2005. I then
Had to move to Atlanta for further treatment. Rounds and rounds of meds AMD therapy. Here I am today and I can honesty say I have not been the same since. I'm still trying at 30 to get things back on track.
I just feel like I'm going around in circles these days...:(
Posted 7/8/2013 11:40 PM (GMT 0)
The going around in circles is a common feeling with depression. It feels like you can never get your head above the water. It is really frustrating. You will get through this though. You will be back to your normal self. Just don't give up on yourself.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/16/2013 5:44 AM (GMT 0)
Where to begin......My bf thinks I don't care...I'm prob being selfish....but It's like I can't help myself. I love him but we fight every night. No one in their right mind would stay. I want to leave and hide in a ball until this is over but I can't.
Posted 7/16/2013 9:44 AM (GMT 0)
Get some counseling, that would really help you.

No we can't hide in a ball in the corner. Well not saying I haven't before... But we have to face these things head on. I would hook up with some counseling and see if that helps. We can say leave or stay, but in the end it is up to you...

I hope to see you happy soon...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/17/2013 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks! I have Mitral Valve Prolapse and I was wondering if this could be the cause of my panic attacks or if they are related in any way?
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