Hi. Your experience with your dad sounds similar to what I have gone through. My dad has always become angry over things he shouldn't, called me names, etc, however, my dad can sometimes act like a really nice person.It is very hard to deal with, and it is very abusive. I find it difficult because a dad (and family in general) should be kind and a person you can trust , not abusive, and it is especially difficult growing up and having a parent act this way, and it is unfair because kids should be able to grow up feeling that they are supported by their parents, not treated badly.
Although I still talk to my dad, I do not often, and he has not been very supportive of me either. Even though I think it is better to have family present in our lives, sometimes if they choose to act that way, it can be better to not communicate them or communciate with them less. It can be hard to accept when family memebers choose to be this way, and I have found that family members and people in general can often misdirect their anger at those closest to them, unaware or not concerned with the impact it can have on them, and it is not your fault that your dad has chosen to act this way at all. It sounds like you have accomplished a lot despite your dad's behavior, and you deserve to be proud of these accomplishments.
I know how difficult it can be to feel like you are an unworthy person when people treat you like this you or tell you that you are, however, I think it is important to try remind yourself that you are a person who is worthy. I think that we all need assurance from others in order to know that we are good people and deserving. With that being said, I think it is important to surround yourself with friends and family who are kind rather than people who bring you down, and to focus on how they treat you rather than the people who treat you poorly.Also, even if you don't have people like this in your life, it is also important to remind yourself that there are nice people who will be kind to you. Because I have depression and have little support from others, I know how difficult it can be to not feel like someone (or anyone) cares, and I have to remind myself of this constantly or I become very depressed.
Also, even though we can't control how people treat us, we can always use our negative experiences with family or anyone else as a reason to always strive to be kind toward others, rather than to allow the way they act to affect us in a negative way.
Had you ever tried to talk to your dad about
his behavior? Sometimes people will listen and admit
to their mistakes, and sometimes they won't. I find that a lot of people have a hard time accepting their mistakes, and whenever I have tried to talk to my dad about
how he acts, he never admits to his mistakes, so I have just accepted that this is how he is choosing to be.I still find this difficult to accept, but I try to remind myself that the way he or anyone else acts is beyond my control. Sometimes, however, people will accept that their actions have been wrong. Also, sometimes in time people will realize this as well. Even if this doesn't happen, though, we can all still try to be the best people we can be, and lead the best lives that we can as well. I hope this helps.
Post Edited (anxious0813) : 7/8/2013 3:42:43 AM (GMT-6)