Hope those on this forum don't mind if I post to this thread.
Kita, I agree wholeheartedly with AlwaysRosie. No one but your husband can be responsible for his happiness or unhappiness. I am not being critical of him, God knows, because I have a tendency to do the same thing to my wife. I blame her for my own problems at times. It's not fair to her and I only feel less of a person after doing it. This does sound like manipulation and a desire to control you. If I can't be happy unless someone loves me, I am asking for unhappiness because that is not something within my control.
My wife, thank God, does not put up with my blame or have pity on my self pity. She is a very balanced and strong person and I have learned a lot from her. Don't give in to your husband's blame. Only he can make himself happy with or without your love. My guess is this is a cognitive distortion of his and it is simply not true, i.e. buffalo chips. :) I would recommend he begin learning about himself by reading some books or parts of books. One author I would recommend is Dr. David Burns. He's written several books on depression and anxiety. You can find them on the net and in the bookstores. He's a very compassionate and positive person. He gives me hope. There are also some very good cognitive therapy home programs on the market, one of which has helped me tremendouosly, as well as psychologists and professional counselors that can help your husband.
You are not a bad person. The only person who can make you feel bad is you by allowing your husband to manipulate you. But he does have to have your permission or approval to make you feel bad. The only way he can control you is with your permission. For your own good and his, don't allow it.