Guilt on good days?

I had a fairly good day yesterday, then found myself feeling utterly guilty about having been depressed on the days leading up to it.

I found myself thinking, "Maybe I'm not actually depressed, maybe I've just been being dramatic." "How dare I scare my husband, when I'm obviously not depressed because I feel okay today?" "How could I be considering spending all of that money on going into the hospital - looks like I'm fine?" "Why I have been investing so much time and money in therapy?"

Of course, today, I'm back in the pits.

When I feel decent, I convince myself I made up the depression. When I'm depressed, I wonder if the good day was real?

Does that make any sense?

Do you guys have days that aren't as intense as others?

If so, do you feel guilty when you feel good?

I don't remember having intermittent good days in the past when I was battling depression. On the one hand, I think "yay, it's not that bad this time!" On the other hand, I think "It's early in the cycle - this is going to get ever worse!"

Thank you. :)

What is the burning skin feeling from Want2bemeagain?

Do you get that a lot?

Just curious...

Hugs, Karen...

Its like a sunburn/pins and needles feeling. The first time I got it was when I started Zoloft 7 years ago. It lasted for about 2 months. This time the 2nd day I was on Zoloft it started again. I tried a couple different Ssris and it still hasn't gone away. Been on escitalopram for 22 days, hopefully it goes away. The klonopin helps a little, but only take .5 2x a day. Haven't had an MRI had the reflex testing etc. I dont think its a disease, just a side effect of the med.

I feel guilty for sleeping, too - especially if I use a pillow.

I'll tell you what everyone tells me - you deserve rest, too.

When I sleep in or during the day. I wake up feeling worse.

We all got to stop with the guilt feelings, we all deserve to be happy. Bottom line...

Hugs, Karen

PS thanks for the tip about the PanamaJack. Sometimes people with fibromyalgia get burning skin sensation. That is why I was curious.

Hugs, Karen...

Karen - you're welcome. :) I picked it up from some railroad construction workers. The creosote in the railroad ties burns their skin. They all joke that it doesn't matter if their wives can cook, as long as they have a gallon of sweet tea and a bottle of panama jack in the fridge when they get home. haha

Karen & Trina - Thank you. I DO need to let go of the guilt. I think I could function much better, if I could. I have a 2-3 hour session each Wednesday, the first hour of which is dedicated to working on guilt EVERY week. (That's a lot of baggage, eh? lol)

I'm sorry to hear that you're truly in need of it at the time, since that sounds like you aren't feeling well, but glad you're going.

The night after my session is always really bad, but I get a really good day the next day. Hope you come away from your session feeling better!

And yeah, the stuff those guys say is cute, they're true "rough neck" boys. :)