My mom has depression for 3 years, will she ever get better??

Hi Everyone,

New to this forum. To be very frank with all of you, I always thought online forums are of no use. The faceless people and their words cant help but I am at my wit's end and even a straw would do to hold onto hence I am here.

I dont have depression, not yet but my mum has it. One of my aunt came to live with us & she did not let my mom, who is a light sleeper, sleep for a week straight. She dug out all the family problems (she is a widow and nowhere to go to) & those ramblings stressed my mom a lot and then it all began. Her moods shifted, she started mumbling to herself. Without wasting any time, we sent my aunt back to her place and took my mom to a shrink. he prescribed some sleeping pills & after she recovered her sleep, she was better for a few days and then it all came back with double the force. This time, she turned suicidal. We took her to a better hospital and they diagnosed her with schizophrenia and treated her for one and half years.

During this time, she became less and less responsive. I was away in US all this time & my father did not tell me about this. My mom was always a quiet person to begin with hence i didnt suspect anything wrong. After i returned i saw a zombie and not my mom. She could barely walk. she did not feel like working or even taking care of household chores.

We changed her doctor once again and she said the medicines given for Schizophrenia were responsible for her slowness, slurring of speech & overall dullness. Her suicidal tendency had diminished quite a bit though. so this doctor actually lowered the dosages slowly and started her on one antidepressant. Things brightened up for 2 months & from last 2 days, she is back to square one. She is mumbling to herself about things that do not make sense. She feels she has betrayed my dad by getting sick and that she does not feel any love for me or my younger sister. This guilt was not there when she was normal.

I myself am getting depressed watching her talk about committing suicide every now and then.. I just want to ask all of you.. can she, will she get better?? or is it a lifetime condition that we are dealing with here? are there relapses in depression & can we see the triggers when that happens??

Let me tell you that its somewhat genetic. my grandma was depressed when she died (because of old age). My mom's brothers also have fought of depression at some point of their adult life. They are now doing good. Will that also happen to my mom??

Please please please tell me that she will be fine and that someday, i will have my mom back and my dad can have his wife back.. we all love her a lot and dont want to see her committing suicide or staying depressed and we can go to any length to cure her!

getting by said...
Hi there,

Welcome to the depression forum. We can't discuss suicide here, but I want you to know, in our resource thread at the top of the page, there are some numbers and sites that you might want to copy down.

Know that your mom is going to get better. My mom was schitzophrenic and there are good medications that are available. Your mom just has to find the right ones. I know you don't want her sitting around in a stupor all of the time. It may take a little while, but keep going through doctors if you have to to find the right one. One that is interested in getting your mom back functional.

Find books or sites on schitzophrenia. That helps a lot to understand. Maybe you can go to one of your mom's appointments and find out some information on it and how to understand schitzophrenia. In other words, learning an obtaining information is the way to go. Educate yourself.

It is hard when a loved one has this disorder and it isn't correctly treated yet. It does take time to find the proper medications. Learn to understand the medications and the possible side effects. This helps a lot to understand why she may be acting a certain way. Once your mom gets properly treated, things are going to be a whole lot different. Better. Just hang in there.

If you are feeling depessed, or even just overwhelmed with the whole situation, talking to a counselor would help. They can teach you about it. So don't hesitate to help yourself through this.

Keep posting, there will be others chiming in I am sure. If nothing else, just to let you know that they care.

Take care hon..

Hugs, Karen...

Thanks a lot Karen.. sorry, did not know about the rules.. i am going there to read them right now :)

It all started 3 years ago while i was away so i dont have a firsthand knowledge about what exactly happened. All i know what my dad and sister tell me. I have not missed a single appointment with her doctor and its all three of us (my mom, dad and me) visiting the doctor. The problem is that the doctor is well known and good but she relies heavily on medicines. she has not by far discussed about relaxation techniques such as deep breathing & meditation.

also, my mum was diagnosed & treated for Schizophrenia but this current pysch said its not that. Its just chronic depression.. so she changed the medicines.. so in away she was treated for a far more serious condition for about 1 and half years before she could actually be diagnosed properly :(

thanks for showing me a ray of hope! thanks a lot!

Hi Hermione_G,   I just want to say that I’m really glad you decided to join the community and share with us. It takes courage to seek help with a possible mental illness in the family – even in our “enlightened” era – social stigmas and the potential for misunderstanding make it difficult to reach out as you have. So I am very glad you reached out in spite of that. J   The good news is that there is hope for your mom. Like Karen mentioned, it is definitely helpful when we are more educated about what our loved ones are going through. In line with that, there are a couple of books that come to mind and I believe they might be helpful for you and your family.   One is called Light on the Fringe by Gary H. Lovejoy Ph.D. and Gregory M. Knopf M.D. and another is called Blue Genes: Breaking Free from the Chemical Imbalances that Affect Your Moods, Your Mind, Your Life, and Your Loved Ones by Dr. Paul Meier. You might also like to check out the book When Someone You Love Suffers from Depression or Mental Illness by Cecil Murphey.   I know it’s hard to walk through this with a loved one, but it is so encouraging to hear that your mom has such a loving, dedicated family supporting her! J