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I am weak and i need help, please

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Depression
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Posted 7/3/2013 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
I feel so weak. I have so much to do to get ready for company. My grandson, Hunter, is due any minute. I have had to wear a diaper 24-7 the past 3 days. Just lost all urine control. My husband leaves this evening for wedding and will be gone 3 or more days. I just feel sick, really sick when I think how physically weak and dependent I am.

I keep having hot flashes and feeling faint and heart beating so fast. I am just a 62 year old who is weak and unable to help myself. I am just plain scared to be alone and its my fault for pushing everyone away.

I have not one person to call. I need holding and I need to feel safe. Here I am, an old lady and weak as a sick kitten. Not one person to call............thanks for listening....and for having a soft place to fall.....................

Cathy
Posted 7/3/2013 8:13 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Cathy, sweety, I am so very sorry you feel so weak.

It sucks you feel like crap and are alone. Know that hubby will be back in 72 hours.

Did you call the doctor and let him/her know about the incontinence? I think it is important that you do that.

Know that you are not alone and we are here for you.

Peace and courage
Trina
Posted 7/3/2013 8:55 PM (GMT 0)
HIgh Trina, thanks for response. I hate being alone. Its the anxiety about having a panic attack and have no one here. People do not understand chronic pain which I have night and day.
add depression in the mix and it just makes big fat mix.

I agree, the doc needs to know about incontinence. I will do that on monday. I may be a grandma by weekend. I am so excited. I admit that I am stressed tho because his mom, April and i dont know each other at all. I intend to spend every minute with my new grandson, Hunter, as i can.

I have been a basket case all my life. My teen years were horrible
father was an alcoholic. I have stayed away from drinking all my life to not want to be like him. i loved him so very much and blamed myself his drinking. If I could have been better maybe the love i had would make him stop. Didnt work.

I have arthris and my elbows are locking up from writing...will be back later.....i feel like I am so weak that I beg for attention, and its not that at all....Thanks again Trina.
Posted 7/3/2013 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cathy,

I too am sorry for what you are going through. Know you are not alone here. Usually one of us is around.

Yes, do talk to your doctor, you may have a uti or something.

I hope you have a good time with your company. Try to relax and enjoy. I know, easier said than done.

I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting and know that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/4/2013 9:39 AM (GMT 0)
Cathy,

I understand about the alcholoism and trying to give them more love then it would be ok. It never works. Just makes the kid more miserable and rotten in the end.

Concentrate on that grandson of yours. Hunter is such a cool name!

Happy July 4th, be safe!

Peace
Trina
Posted 7/6/2013 2:43 PM (GMT 0)
I went to bed feeling stronger. I appreciate all of you for responding, it makes all the difference in the whole wide world.

My husband comes home today. I am already stressing about everything I should have done while he was away. He does not get anything, he is the one who should go to a good mental hospital. I should too, but for sure not the one in was in 3 years ago. When my husband came to pick me up it was time for my sections dinner. I could see him. By the time we were thru and back to our area, they let the people who were picking up someone. My dear sweet hubby was about to blow. He let all the staff know by is demeaning actions and tried to take charge and get the hell out. He said that making him wait. I knew what was coming when we finely did leave. Needless to say, I was not so happy. I should have begged to stay, but my insurance paid for 2 week and then 3 weeks out patient.....I stayed one week and went for 3 days of op care.

I have got to find my back brace and get my butt in gear to do 6 months organizing my house in 3 hours. Ha hee ho ho ho lol. I cant do it of course. I would love to crawl into a dark closet for however as long as i wanted to stay. I say at least 1 month............HOWEVER, My first grandbaby is expected at any moment. My little Hunter, named after my dad. I wish that I could just have him, little Hunter, for good. IF that were so I might make it one week before I broke down physically because I was missing all the sleep I needed to function.

I am just rambling. Maybe Hunter will arrive today. I cannot begin to tell how happy I am. I am being selfish. I hope that all of you slept well and that your meds are working as they should. I truly did pray that you all were givin an extra pain free morning and that the rest of the day as well. One day at a time.............Thanks for being hear, my home away from home.........hugs Cathy
Posted 7/6/2013 3:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cathy,

I hope you are doing better today. It is very hot here today, I need cool... LOL...

I am glad you posted to let us know how you are doing. Though your thoughts seem a little rambled, you sound better. I hope you are...

It stinks to deal with chronic illness and depression too. But we are all here for you. Know that. We all suffer in one way or another so we truly understand. Keep posting and keep us up on how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/6/2013 4:16 PM (GMT 0)
thanks Karen. I will certainly let you all know when my grandson is here...My little Hunter, named for my father.........Thanks again, you folks do a world of good......hugs Cathy
Posted 7/8/2013 12:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cathy,

You sounded better in you last post, glad to hear it. Keep up the positive hard work.

Enjoy your visit with Hunter.

Peace
Trina
Posted 9/5/2013 11:49 PM (GMT 0)
I wanted tell you about the Vitamins that I'm taking for Neuropathy B1 and B12 vitamins, with R-Alpha Lipoic Acid. This is helping me. Call this number for this product 888-840-7142 I hope this help's with one of your problems.I'm not having the burning anymore.
Posted 9/6/2013 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
I hope you're doing well. Maybe Hunter made his appearance today! I know you're excited and he's already a lucky little boy to have such a loving grandmother.

Have you thought about getting a pet? A pet may make you feel less lonely and keep you motivated. My cats certainly help me. I know that I can't just stay in bed because they need food and water. Today I was very upset and all 3 cats cuddled with me for a long time. A pet could help you.
Posted 9/6/2013 12:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Cathy
Hope you are doing better.

I think a small pet (maybe a little older and already potty-trained for you) is a great idea. I did not marry until I was 41 and lived alone-always had a sweet kitty to come home too and would curl up with me when I had my pity parties-lol.

And a grandchild is one of the greatest gifts we ever get-lucky you!!!

Love Mags
Posted 9/6/2013 4:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cathy,
That's exciting news! I'm waiting for my nephew, Sebastian, to arrive at 11/12/2013. I just can't wait.

My grammy has little control of her urine and also needs to use diaper 24/7 too. It's completely normal, you don't need to feel sad or sorry about yourself that way. My grammy had mentioned to me and my family that she feels helpless, useless and also feels like a little kid again because she has to rely on somebody on almost everything.

If I were you, I would say live your life until the fullest when you still can. Don't just sit there and wait for a sign or some sort but if you are, take this as a sign to get up and get going on your feet and be happy. Live your life with all the spirits you have from this very moment. Remember, every minute counts.

I have all the symptoms you mentioned above. It is possible that it's caused by your stress/anxiety/depression so don't worry about it but if you're still worried, then you're free to do a check up.

You have to live your life like there's no tomorrow in order to have a great day everyday. It's okay if you're relying on somebody (such as your husband), you don't need to feel bad about it, it's just the way how life goes but that doesn't mean you should feel sorry for yourself.

Live, Laugh, Love... :-)

Much love,
Joanne
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