Depressed and unmotivated friend

Hi everyone, I'm here for a bit of advice and help.

I have a best friend (girl) who seems to suffer from depression and I'm struggling to help her, despite numerous forlorn attempts. In fact, I'm not sure whether it's depression or not, but she seems to be down in mouth quite frequently.

She's 25, lives with her mum (but sees her dad occasionally), does not drive, is in a job she hates and has very few friends. All of these points seems to be the core of her depression, and it takes only something (which I would normally consider trivial) to go wrong for her to slip into a downward spiral.

I've tried everything to help her out - talking to her, going out on day trips/walks with her, heck I've even moved abroad for 3 months with her (where I currently am) so she could 'clear her head' and turn over a new leaf, but nothing seems to be working. We came out so she could perhaps find a temp job over here, some new friends, see the beach, relax and take a break from her everyday routine, but she's done none of this. She just lies in bed until 11am every morning, moans about the heat, mopes around and does nothing.

She moans a LOT, about her job, living with her mum, not driving etc, but then does nothing about it. She has no hobbies and seems to have no interest in taking one up either. I've tried getting her interested in the things I do - learning a new language, photography, playing an instrument, but she just doesn't want to know. It's like she's lost her thirst for discovering new things.

She won't go on the beach because she doesn't like like her body (she is not fat, and I've told her this many times). But either way, I took her to the gym and said we should both sign up, because it will make us feel positive to be doing something good for our bodies. So we joined up, but now she never wants to go.

I've tried getting her up early in the morning to come for a walk along the coast and see the sunrise, take photo's or just relax, but she just stays in bed until lunch instead.

It's VERY frustrating and is taking a toll on our friendship, but I don't want to walk away from her if she's depressed. I want to help. But it seems like I'm trying to crack a diamond with a toothpick or something - nothing does the trick.

It doesn't help matters that she's quite shy, so meeting new people is hard for her. But I've told her that she needs to focus on the positives and not the negatives. That she needs to find something she enjoys doing and forget about anyone else - that comes later when she's rediscovered a zest for something; ANYTHING.

I really need help guys, because I can see her growing up and living the life of her mum - drinking, sleeping, barely working, and generally having a horrible life. And I don't want that for her.

Please help me.

Thanks

Welcome Jammeson,

You appear to be an angel for this women. Outside of getting her professional help, there is not much else to be done. Then again, professional help will only work if she wants to work at herself.

As hard as you work to make her happy, a depressed person has to work twice as hard to be pleasant sometimes. However, she needs a diagnosis to see exactly was is going on. There are a lot of disorders that mask themselves and look like depression or have depression as a symptom.

You are a faithful and loving friend, she is very lucky.

Peace
Trina

YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND TO YOUR FRIEND. MAY YOU BE BLESSED. IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT REALLY HELP PEOPLE WITH CARE AND COMPASSION. SORRY COULDN'T READ ALL OF YOUR POST BUT GOT THE FLOW WITH THJE POSTS. AM VISION IMPAIRED, HENCE THE CAPS.

MANY BLESSINGS TO YOU.
I AM GETTING EMOTIONAL.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
(JAMIE)