Debt Advice Question Anyone know? Getting so depressed & Stressed!

Hi,
I know this isn't a "finances forum". But b/c of the situation I am in, it is making me sad, nervous, depressed and ashamed/guilt-ridden.
I won't go into a very long narrative, but the most basic problem is this: A month ago I had absolutely no choice but to default on my credit card. The balance is very high (as is the interest rate). It's been over two years that Mom and I (we live together, pool resources and share the debt, although it's in my name) have been paying without making any charges on it. We also paid $20 or more over the minimum payment. Now that Mom's going to retire for age and COPD, our combined incomes make it so that we will NEVER EVER BE ABLE to repay this debt. With most credit cards, once you default, they sell the debt to a collection agency after so many months and you then have to deal with debt collectors calling. If they get too annoying, you can send a letter telling them to desist with their harassing calls. However, this particular credit card company handles their non-paid debts in-house. Even though the lady was nice and said she understood my circumstances, that the CC company will still be calling me every week regardless. cry
I don't know how to handle this. I regret with ALL MY HEART that we can't pay! But we're going to have to live with everything cut-to-the-bone to get by! There will be no high-living b/c of not paying the CC! We drive a 14 year old car and have nothing of value to sell. We already live in low-rent housing. By the CC calling me every week, it is going to be so hard rehashing this week-after-week! Of course they're mad, upset and all about their not getting their money! I understand! But even if they were allowed to call me every hour of every day, it still won't change the hard cold truth that I have nothing more to give! shakehead
This is really getting me down and stressing me out so much! I don't know if there is anything I can do about it. I researched the normal route of sending letters to debt collectors to stop the harassment, but in this kind of case, I don't know.
Has anyone have any knowledge of how to deal with this or does anyone know a friend or family friend that's a lawyer or an accountant that they might could inquire about this for me?
Any help or advice would be MOST appreciated! So sorry to be so long! sad
jl

Either that or just ignore them. That is what I had to do. I settled with a couple of them, and the rest I just didn't pay. It depends on how much your debt is as to whether they bother with it or not. They are just blood sucking leaches that thrive on scaring you. Ignore them until you can talk to somebody. My attorney helped me settle, but never tell them you will try, just tell them you can't pay if you talk to them, though I wouldn't talk to them if you don't have to. They can't put you in jail. They thrive on people that get in your situation. They would rather the settlement, and sometimes you can pay a quarter on a dollar. Is your debt really high?

I hope things work themselves out. It takes seven years to clear before they leave you alone. Then they forget about it.

Hugs, Karen...

Yes, I wouldn't worry too much about it, they can't get blood out of a rock. And yes, they have made plenty of money off of you. They are criminal... Oh they like to scare you and sock it to you when you don't pay. Adding all kinds of interest and other fees. Doubling the bill that you owe. Just ignore them if you can't work with them. And never say you will even try to pay anything, every time that you do, they start that seven years over again. They do quit harassing you after seven years, and they make money, losing money. So don't feel sorry for them at all. Just don't talk to them or write to them. That just opens a new door for them. Good luck... Keep posting...

Hugs, Karen...

Dont' be upset, I've been there. I know how you feel and what you're going thru.
I had the same problem. It spiraled out of control so quickly, I was buried in debt.
I didn't know what to do. But I made the right decision, and declared bankruptcy.
It alleviated the anxiety a lot, and the stress, and I felt better when it was all over with. I know the pain you're in. I'm here for you if you need to talk -

Patrick

Thank you, Patrick and JB1.
I have basically "let it go". What else can I do?
I still occasionally get calls about a mobile home that I lost in 1998!
My Dad and I had co-signed for it in 1997. It was going to be our final home. We moved in around July of '97 (my folks and I). I remember sitting in the living room, watching the Princess Diana tragedy unfold. When they finally confirmed that she had died, I told my dad about it when he came to the kitchen for a snack. As he walked back towards his bedroom, he shook his head and said that was a real shame about Diana....6 months later, my dear Dad died too. He passed away while in a dialysis chair. I found him and he had died with his eyes still open...

Naturally, I could not pay for the trailer on my own and my Mom hadn't worked since she was a teenager. It was quite devastating to lose Dad, so when the inevitable debt collectors started calling, I just told them the truth. When they wanted to get hateful about it, I'd say to them that I had lost my Dad and so if I could deal with THAT, I could certainly deal with anything they wanted to come at me with, as I had no income except my SSI ! That usually did the trick!
Life went on and I do regret that I couldn't pay for the MH, but compared to losing my Dad, it was a tiny small problem!
Thanks to EVERYONE for their encouragement and kindness!

jl

Hi folks, New here.
Yeah, financial pressure is basically the only monkey on my back. Like other people said, if you can't pay, you can't pay.
I know it's been the cause of my anxiety and slight depression. A short while ago, about two months ago, I started taking Paxil. I have heard some bad things about it, but so far, I've only experienced a lot of yawning and some nausea early on. My wife said the Paxil has helped. I think it's not effective as much as it was so at the end of the month I'm going to ask my doctor about upping to 30 MG's. I'm on 20 now. It has helped with the anxiety as well. When the time comes to stop taking it I am going to slowly taper off it. So, the bills are still there. But the stress and angst over them is eased up. All we can do is take a deep breath, relax and hope for the best. Glad to be in here. Was looking for a group to join.