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How to help my dad deal with me

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Posted 10/25/2013 10:08 PM (GMT 0)
Okay, I had a rushed attack of anxiety but I think my mind is starting to clear up a bit..

Instead of explaining my own personal dealings with depression, I'd rather seek help for my dad. Aside from aall the hardships I've been tested with, I've been truly blessed with my dad. His children are his only drive and he really does put us first in his life. That being said, it kills him to see me depressed, but he doesn't understand it at all which makes it really hard for me to let him in.

My dad has always had an incredible drive for life, never letting anything beat him up, the way I do. I think that's why he has difficulty understanding what I'm going through and what I mean when I say "I have no motivation for anything." His responses don't vary at all, usually some cliché about life like "lifes not easy" or "pul yourself up, enough is enough"

How can I get him to understand???
Posted 10/26/2013 10:21 AM (GMT 0)
typical,

Welcome to the forum! So nice that you are concerned for your father.
There is a level of understanding that your father just will never have for what you go through, because he has not experienced it himself.

He is doing the best he can.

The best thing you can do for you Dad is use you daily coping skills and show him that you are doing your work and working are at it.

There is a "resource" thread at the top of the forum for you to review.

Coping skills would be anything from walking, painting, playing music, journaling, mindfulness, prayer, meditation, etc...

Anything that helps get you going, balances your emotions and keeps you on tract in the present moment.

I wish you Peace and Strength
Trina
Posted 10/26/2013 10:26 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your responses, I guess right now its just too hard to find joy... but I'm trying the best I can to help myself.
Posted 10/26/2013 10:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hello typical ........

   I kind of have a similar but role reversal situation as yours. I'm the Dad and I have no doubt that either of my daughters have developed opinions of me that are very mistaken ... especially with my oldest daughter.

   The mistaken opinions are all about getting help .... or seeing a psychologist! My oldest daughter (I expect) along with my ex-wife (I firmly know) believe that only crazy people go to a therapist, psychologist or a counselor.

   My youngest daughter isn't nearly as self-absorbed and has more of an open mind to most anything.

   So ....... I took her on one of my appointments with my psychologist.

   Do you think your Dad would go? He might just gain some insight that we can all use some help at times.

   Just a thought.

Rob and Gizzy

 

Posted 10/28/2013 6:21 AM (GMT 0)
Well he's very invested in his children, if I asked him to go he would, I actually hadn't thought of that.. sure, he's talked to my therapist numerous times about my progress and what not, but we've never talked about a therapist for him..

Maybe because I myself only reached out when I'm feeling most depressed, playing into that false idea that only crazy people go. Hmmm, I'll definitely discuss this with him!!! Thank you!!
Posted 10/28/2013 3:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hello typical .....

   What I was suggesting was that if your dad's presence was with you during one of your sessions, he may gain some insight as to the seriousness of your needs in seeing a therapist.

   When my daughter was with me, she was able to see what some of my concerns were with my cancer, heard the doctors questions of me .... and then, the doctor did ask her just two questions in a very non-threatening way.

   The hope was for her to better understand my concerns and life situations now.

   Hope you do find some comfortable way of dealing with a very caring Dad who maybe needs to understand you just a bit better.

Rob and Gizzy

 

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