I Get Depressed...

I post regularly on the Ulcerative Colitis forum. I have been having waxing and waning depression for the last half year now, and cannot shake it. A lot of it is situational, if not all of it. I have body aches every day that leave me needing prescription painkillers. I am self-employed with my dad, and our business has been a struggle this year, with uncertainties galore. Then, I have been back and forth on selling my home because I'm getting married next year and she wasn't sure she'd like my home since it's a bit far for her drive to work.

I feel exhausted or burned out. I feel so hopeful sometimes, and then another setback with work comes and I just don't know how to have hope anymore.

I just want to live a peaceful life with freedoms in regard to my career. I am so sad sometimes that the world seems to be giving me so many struggles and yet not giving me new options to pursue.

I know in the long run I will persevere... but I am out of energy right now. I'm out of hope, and just want to hide in my bedroom in my house with the heat on and forget everything.

Hey Thoreau

Welcome to the Dark Side--lol-just kidding. You can always come visit and we understand.

Any chronic med condition can create depression. It may even be a good idea to talk with your doc about trying an anti-depressant. They take up to 6-8 weeks to take effect so keep that in mind.

Our lives and spirits only get sicker when we dwell on the negatives...I count my "gratitudes" every day. Blus sky, deep breath of clean air, being alive

PLease consider talking w/ a doc and let us know
Mags

Hey guys, thank you so much for your replies.

I am working so I do not have long to reply until later. I have found though, that the anti-depressants make me so impotent and uninterested in sex that I actually get more discouraged unfortunately. So, I am trying to deal with this without them. I have a fiance that I am marrying next spring, and it is very important that I can be with her in this way at this time in my life.

To Gizzy: Oh I've always dealt with uncertainties in business. The problem lately is the fundamentals are so inconsistent that if we followed the markets on both ends of buying/selling our product we would be losing money before expenses. It's never been so disrupted and illogical. We are still finding ways to manage, but it is hard.

It's worth mentioning that I have three elders who've almost died on me lately. Both grandpas and a neighbor whom I am very good friends with. The neighbor is now in hospice care, which I deal with fine... but not with everything else going on as well.

I'm trying to remain hopeful. If I take my tramadol/tylenol/lomotil mix I feel very good and not depressed for as along as it lasts. These body aches are definitely hard to deal with.

I will reply more later. Thanks again everyone.