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Depression about sickness/allergies/food

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Posted 7/26/2005 8:14 AM (GMT 0)
I have a number of allergies that I find interfere with my life.  I'm constantly reading labels for food it's turning into an obsession about avoiding contaminated products for fear they will put me in hospital.  I feel stupid, but it just gets into my head that I'm allergic to all this stuff, I don't know what's harming me and what's not.  There are days on end where I just don't eat.  I've dropped a few dress sizes but this is partially by cutting out a product from my diet that was bloating me.

I have a skin condition that drives me to tears, I don't want people seeing me.  I call in sick to work because I don't want to have to deal with the stares from customers.  I get it in my eye, on my hands... I can't hide everywhere with clothes.

Ugh.  Anyway, I was on Luvox about 3 years ago and my doctor took me off it, that was when I was having major family/relationship dramas.  I moved cities and now am I guess accepting that this is turning into a big problem.

On top of trying to treat my health, I'm finding that I'm starting to slip.  I don't really know how to describe it.  My moods are a rollercoaster and starting to affect my relationship.  He's great at helping me with my problems, but he doesn't understand.

I don't know if a doctor could help me with this, I don't like myself on anti-depressants.  I'm not really sure what to do.  At what point does awareness to harmful products become an obsession?  I'm so lost... I'm a 21 year old female trying to fit into society and I feel like everyone's looking at me, judging me.

Anyway, I don't know.  Is this really even a problem or am I just being stupid and selfish?

I just get so down when I think about how I will never do this and never do that, I try to say it could be worse, I could have no hands... but really.  I don't think I can live every day of my life like this!  I don't want to have kids because I don't want them to have to go what I go through.  I hate having to explain to people why I can't go to dinner with them.  I hate the looks, and I hate myself because I'm like this.

Post Edited (Miss~Sin) : 7/26/2005 2:18:17 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/26/2005 4:53 PM (GMT 0)
MS,

Welcome to the depression site. I hope you can find comfort and strength here. I have. First off, have you been to a doctor for the alergies and if you have, did they do the skin tests?. Second, have you seen a dermatologist for the rash? I think until you get those matters researched you may be able to get the help you need and make life a bit more bearable. It could change your entire life. No one asks to be sick or have emotional issues, we just do, howeve, if you are able to MANAGE them, it could make things easier for you. If you do have the diagnosis, can you share with us? I would like to know what it is. God bless!

 

"Lefty"

Posted 7/26/2005 6:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Missy,

Lefty gave you some very good advice sis. And I hope you WILL see a doctor about these issues . . . you may have a treatable problem. Some skin problems even come from sun exposure or an autoimmune reaction.

I have such a skin problem myself. I hope you'll tell us more about it and . . . but even more, I hope you'll seek some medical help for this.

Blessings!
Posted 7/27/2005 5:35 AM (GMT 0)
I've had this condition for about 6 years now. I always had eczema as a baby, it's been in varying degrees all my life. It started off on my hands when I wanted to be a hairdresser, I was allergic to the bleech. I stopped that, and it's just spread to various parts of my body.

I've seen a number of doctors, allergists, specialists, homeopaths... I'm undergoing immunotherapy etc. I've tried elimination diets... I think I'm just allergic to the world!

about 6 years ago I saw a skin specialist who did patch tests to determine my allergies. I remember him saying now you're either allergic to what's under patch a, or patch b. When I was allergic to both, he didn't know what to do or say except bring in the other specialists to ask their opinion. When they came up with nothing, he gave me a script for some stronger cream for my hands and I left. Creams will thin my skin, I don't like using them but I have to. I've tried natural remedies. It's a constant battle to keep it at bay, and it's winter right now so my skin is just really dry in general. The sun's good for my skin, but there's not too much of it at the moment.

So yeah. I feel like there's nothing else I can really do except sit on the lounge like a mummy with wet bandages all over me. There's only a certain amount of times my bf can see me like that... ugh.

I'm trying to manage the whole health thing as best as possible, but it's just very tiring waking up every morning and seeing that I've torn my skin to shreds, there's blood all over the sheets and I have to deal with it all again. I guess I'm just whining.

It's just really darn hard.
Posted 7/27/2005 4:44 PM (GMT 0)
I have lived with a chronic illness for 40 years, I am 45. It is all that I can really remember about life and have felt like I have had to give so much up because of it. Learning to accept it is a great challenge, one that I am still battling with daily. I try to look at it more from the perspective of what am I gaining because of this disease rather than what I am giving up. As I do so, there are many positives I can finally see becasue they aren't clouded by the negatives I have carried for so long. No it isn't easy and I don't want to make light of it. The good thing is that I am learning to live with my disease rather than be a victim of it. Good luck and please know we are here for you anytime you need us.
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