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To depressed to post, getting divorced

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Posted 1/6/2014 8:09 PM (GMT 0)
I knew we had our usual problems, but taking care of me just got to be too much for him. Im 63 and most defiantly both physical and mentally disabled.I must say tho that living with a real tyrant and getting worse as he gets older.We are still in the house together, but its a big house and we can have privacy.

I just feel so weak. I am trying to get things packed and all, its just nearly impossible.

In my head I feel like I am whining, I cant stand that. It is what it is...........happy new year to all of you...Cathy
Posted 1/6/2014 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cathy,

You aren't whining... I am sorry for what you are going through right now. Is everything going to work out for you on having a place to live and finances if you two split up? Though you have probably already sorted it out between the two of you.

I am really sorry. Do you have a chronic illness that is making things harder? A lot of us seem to.

Keep posting, know that we all care about eachother here...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 1/6/2014 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
Divorce is hard. I'm separated and prepping for a divorce myself. You have to take it day by day. I keep myself occupied so I can't sit and think about how horrible the divorce will be.

Start picturing the things you can do now that you couldn't while married. I've stepped my volunteer work, I can decorate how I want, and I get to make every decisions. No more compromising and fighting.

Keep posting because there are great people here. Remember to not let it overwhelm you. Our inner strength comes out when we think we can't possibly go any further.
Posted 1/6/2014 9:35 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Cathy ......

   Do you have a brother, sister, cousin or good friend who can help you thru at least the physical portion of what you're doing right now? And maybe to help you with some of the stressful portions of the paperwork to come.

   Are your chronic illnesses keeping you from making decisions? If so, please find a trusted relative or good friend to help you thru these times as well.

   Try to keep in mind that when all the things you're doing now are done - there will be a lightened load from your shoulders .... maybe even for your heart too.

Best wishes

Rob & Gizmo

 

Posted 1/6/2014 9:43 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry that you are divorcing. I am 28 and have done 2. It sucks. I understand the emotional pain that come with this. Please if you have someone to learn on do so, that makes this all easier.

You are not whining, this hurts and that pain needs to come out. Cry when you need yo and laugh when you can. Life gets better after its all done. I promise.
Posted 1/7/2014 3:53 PM (GMT 0)
Cathy ......

   I want to tell you a little true story from years ago.

   I did get divorced over 20-years ago - and found a support group shortly after going to a psychologist over 15-years ago. Yeah - I sort of wasted 5-years ... but not totally.

   The support group was a non-denominational group thru a church that met several evenings a month and also had speakers come in. It was a large group and many donated their time to make this happen.

   One of the speakers, I'll never forget, said that the emotional impact of going thru a divorce is every bit as devastating as dealing with the death of a spouse. And in some ways - even worse .... because with the death of  spouse, in time, it can be accepted (just) partially because that person is no longer around. Whereas, with a divorce, there is often a reminder at birthdays and other family holidays - so that it is more difficult to put the feelings of a divorce behind.

   I didn't say that as well as the speaker 15-years ago - but i think you get what I'm saying.

   So ......... don't ever ......... feel bad about getting your feelings out. It's probably the first step to recovery.

P.S. - my marriage was not as long as yours, but it still was 23-years - and it's still sad in many ways but it was necessary - and I think we're both better off becasue of it!

   Post again here.

Rob & Gizmo

 

Posted 1/8/2014 3:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hello everyone, thank you all so very much. Karen asked did I have a chronic illness making this all harder. I have neuropathy in both feet and legs. I was having so much lack balance. I hit my hands about 8 months ago. I have arthritis everywhere, back and neck. my hands are just changing as we speak. My feet look so deformed and hurt so bad . Nerve pain of neuropathy is indescribable.

Since I was a teenager I had depression. I thought of suicide all the time but I had wonderful boy frind and his family. Now, skip over a 21 yr. marriage to a good man, and a son, 38 now and I have a precious new grandson named Hunter, after my father. I am going to be leaving them to move to arizona to be with my Mom, and 2 sisters, so I have a place to fall.

I have a need tho of a lot of privacy. I have spastic dysphona so my speech is affected. My memory is terrible. Starting a sentence gos array most of the time. Physicaly I am so ugly. I had all my teeth exctacted 4 yrs ago. My dentures hurt me so much I dont wear them hardly at all. It was such a shock to see my face, seeing my face fall apart. The meds I have taken for 25 years did serious root rot. I hurt so much I just wanted them out. Now, I have one more reason to never go anywhere. My doctors visits are pretty much where I go, thats it.

My Mom and I are leasing a really nice home in Tucson arizona. Depending on the the divorce I will be gone from Texas.

I am exhausted y'all. I feel so blessed to have my family in Az. but leaving my son and that precious new baby boy Hunter,

I cant tell y'all how wonderful I feel being with all of you here. Getting my foggy brain to formulate my thoughts causes me such frustration. I have so much to do but my battery operated wheel chair just gets in my way.......until later my friends..........Happy new year........Cathy
Posted 1/8/2014 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
I would go back to the dentist and have the dentures fixed so that they don't hurt. That can be done, they shouldn't feel that uncomfortable for you. I don't wear my bottoms a lot. They do agrivate me, I need to go back and get them fitted right. But I do wear my tops and they fit nice. I really think you should finish getting them fitted. You will feel a lot better about yourself.

I am glad you posted back. I was worried that you wouldn't. We all know how you are feeling and we all sympathize with that. We are all depressed too. We try to support eachother and this forum becomes a life line...

Keep hanging in there, keep posting. It does help to get your feelings down so you can see what is going on. It helps to solve that puzzle.

Take care,

I hope this is a good day for you...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 1/8/2014 3:58 PM (GMT 0)
thanks Karen, you are a treasure!!!......Hugs Cathy
Posted 1/8/2014 6:40 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Cathy, I was reading your signature. Aren't grand kids awesome???

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 1/8/2014 6:50 PM (GMT 0)
Cathy do keep posting here. Hit makes all the hard stuff a little easier, especially the chronic pain. Something in the brain kicks in and relieves some of the pain when we know we have support. It is a gift.

Peace
Trina
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