reclusive

yes alex. your reaching out. have you considered any allied suppoort, ie counselling? i am in therapy and it really helps. keep walking, good to get out. clears the head. know that we are here for you. others will post soon. welcome to the forum. with healing compassion, jamie

I know exactly what you are going through, Alex. I am in the same rut. I isolate myself, and the only reason I can give for that is that I'm just not interested in interacting with people. Yet I am so alone and bored. I would be interested in one relationship with someone who can even understand me, but who would? I have done this to myself. I am a fit-looking, attractive woman, intelligent and well-educated, who has become a reclusive...loser. When I do get out--for work or necessary errands--I can put on a fairly good act! But I hate it. I don't want to die, but what else is there at this point? I wish I could be more interested in getting out and doing things. Well, you are not alone!!

Hello .......

   I think this may apply to all three people who wrote here - of a similar problem.

   Isolation .... bored .... lonely .... non-interacting with others!

   Most, if not all of these things, are self-created. And I doubt that any of you are really living alone - that is - no other person in the same household - and no other means of support but yourself.

   So ..... try a therapist or psychologist. They are professionals trained to bring out the fears of people - and guiding people thru those fears. We all at times, need some professional help. And there is a truism - that before we can expect someone to love us .... we have to learn how to love ourselves first.

   Try it.

Rob & Gizmo

  

Allie,

No family nearby, but you do have family. That is more than some people have.

If you feel so alone and are truely reaching out for help, you must realize that people here at the forum are not mind readers and are only trying to help the best they can. We are here to support and listen.

Through your battle with depression have you tried a support group? I have been in one for 18mos now and find it very helpful. Sometimes trying, most times helpful.

You could also join a local book club for a cursery circle of contacts to start with. You can start slow getting to know some people. You do not have to be alone if you do not wish.

These are just 2 suggestions, there are many more.

Peace and courage
Trina

Thanks Rob. I am sorry to hear of your ongoing situation.
As you may or may not know from your experience, counseling can take the edge off, but it is not that helpful in the long run. And meds can often make matters worse with horrible side effects. I have been on Wellbutrin for months. It's the only anti-depressant my body can tolerate. However, it did not get rid of the constant thoughts of death, suffering, and hopelessness that plague me. (I may even have been more sociable before the Wellbutrin.)

I don't know about you, but I am agnostic. It drives me crazy to hear others' stories about how their relationship with Jesus saved them. I can't relate to that at all. I have tried asking God for help, gone to church, etc. but it just isn't for me. It feels so awkward and ridiculous, and there's never any kind of epiphany when I do try to open my mind to it. So religion's out. Not having strong faith is a negative, I guess, as others who do are much happier.

I apologize for my negative tone. It comes from the cynicism and anger I have toward the world for allowing people and animals to suffer--and for believing that, with liberal immigration policies we will all be better off (a fallacy). It is so devastating to me, a dual British citizen, to see England fall. I guess I should stop keeping myself informed, as it just brings more heartache and frustration, for I cannot change anything.

Where do you live, Rob? (That's another thing. I feel like I want to "get out of here" and move...all the time. I feel like if I move, things might get better--I'd have a fresh start. That's a fallacy, too.)

Hello Allie ......

   Thanks for writing so soon. I'de like to respond to your comments and questions. I have little experience in anti-depressants with Lexapro as the only one ever taken - so I can't comment much on the meds of that type.

   My first experience with a psychologist was a very good one - and it was a lasting experience. It was at time of personal family loss, and ramifications of a divorce and a bad business year. It uncovered some weaknesses of mine - and the psychologist led me in some positive directions. Hidden guilt - not mine but forced upon me by a parent over her lifetime was addressed.

   I have to admit my second experience with a psychologist was not very good. It was during a relationship - that failed anyway. And the most recent is an occassional meeting with a psychologist who specializes with terminal illnesses. He's good, but I think I have most of my ducks in a row - so i don't need to see him that often.

   So ...... your belief is that a psychologist is not that helpful in the long run. Maybe ...... just maybe ...... it was either the wrong psychologist or the wrong timing. I have a personal thing against psychiatrists (right or wrong ... I still have it). I happen to view them as pill-popper prescribers - and that's only because of one bad experience thru a relationship partner. But ... we are often a summary of our experiences!

   I was a borderline agnostic for a long time. I'm not any longer. There is a support group I recently starting going to - a small group for cancer patients - regarding spirituality. I've just been to two of them so far, but after the first meeting ... there were four of us who stayed about 45-minutes after the group meeting to discuss spirituality .... and one of the four is a proclaimed athiest. It was surprising how much we had in common when viewed in the area of spirituality - or oneness with nature.

   So ..... we don't always have to be judgemental or be the recipient of being judged when talking about religion.

   I need to apologize now .... for not understanding the apparent frustration you do have regarding your feelings about England. I am ignorant of the immigeration policies you've referred to - but, since I am an American, we do have some very upsetting political and financial policies of our own. 

   I'm in the heart of the frozen midwest myself - or the Chicago area, and we're having a worse than normal January. By the way .... several of those who frequently write on the Depression Forum are either from England or Canada .... I believe a few from Europe and at least one from Australia. We cover a pretty wide area.

   Incidentaly ...... two of my best friends were a Norweigan Elkhound named Bear - who I lost April 4, 2012 .... and is a Samoyed named Gizmo who helps keep me sane ....... usually!

Peace and wellness

Rob & Gizmo