Depressed mom

Hi Nikki,

Welcome to the depression forum. I am sorry you are feeling depressed. But it sounds like you are doing things to get through it and past it. That is awesome.

Are you going to any counseling at this time? I think it would help you to adjust to the environment there. And getting out and meeting people will help too. I know that you have been there a year, but sometimes it takes awhile to make friends. But it will come in time.

I see a little anxiety about the future. Taking things one day at a time helps with that. And staying in the moment helps too. Mindfulness. It keeps us from worrying about the future, or to dwell on the past. Seeing a counselor or therapist can help you with that. Talking here helps too.

Give the medications a good six to eight weeks to work. It takes that long to reach full potential, though you could start feeling better sooner.

I see good things for you. You are trying. You are doing things to help yourself.

Raising a three year old is not easy. They are into everything. I imagine that you are rather busy a lot of the time. Make sure you get some "you" time in the midst of all this. You deserve it...

Hugs, Karen...

It's hard being mommy. It's hard moving to a new place. It seems like you've had a doubly hard time handling it. That's ok! Being a parent is hard and comes with so much stress.

Seeing a therapist may be a big help. A therapist can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms. It can help you straighten out your thinking. Remember the depression gives you the negativity, it's reasonless and blameless. Getting help is the best thing you can do for you and your family.

Being depressed doesn't necessarily rule you out from having another child. Talk to your husband and your dr. This is where a psychologist can be useful. They can help you figure out if you're in a good place for another baby. By all means take your time to decide.

You'll get through this. Something that helps me is taking a time out with something that gives me peace. For me it's hot baths, music, reading, dancing with my kids, visiting my grandfatger's grave, or baking with my kids. Find something that helps calm your mind and never feel bad about needing a time out. You're still a great mom. Even the best moms get depressed, I'm sure mrs.Brady was on Prozac! Lol

My therapist told me that everyday I need to get up and take a shower and get dressed for the day. This helps your brain get on the right track toward getting things done. Just keep trying and things will get better.

Nikki, have you ever tried meditation. It really helps good with getting to sleep. even if I wake up, I can meditate more to fall back to sleep.

I hope you are feeling well today...

Hugs, Karen...

So I've been on meds for 6 weeks now. And I'm not feeling better. I know this sounds harsh but I have moments where I hate my life and being a mom.

I saw my doc today and he thinks my 3 yr old is contributing to my depression. He also upped my meds from 10 to 20 mg cipralex. He also referred my to a psychiatrist. I cried the entire dr visit.

I thought my meds would have worked like they did the last time and I'd feel much better by now and be enjoying my child again. I guess they don't always work the same. I am so tired of feeling sad and hopeless.

Any advice on how to cope and what to expect seeing a psychiatrist? I am just so sad and never thought my life would ever come to this :( :( :(

Oh Nikki, I could have written much of your posts. I am a mom to a little one and we have recently moved as well. One of the most devastating realities I have had to face over the last several months is that motherhood is not at all what I expected it would be. I love my child more than life itself, but I do not love being a mother. Having these feelings makes me feel even worse about myself and the guilt and depression spirals from there. The constancy of their needs is overwhelming at best and it sounds like you are not close to family and friends which, on some days, makes me feel like I am drowning.

Last week I went to a therapist for the first visit and then of course when I am supposed to go back this week--bam! Sick kid! I spent all of my 20s on zoloft for anxiety and depression but after feeling so numb on them, I tapered off of them in November. I am wondering if that was a bad decision, but right now, despite having some days when I think I am going to crawl out of my skin because I just can't cope, I am committed to trying therapy for a bit longer before going back on the meds. However, that said, I think that medications are a wonderful tool and I am absolutely not opposed to going back on them at all!

Please be gentle with yourself. Being a mom is so hard and doing it away from the support network of family and friends is even more challenging.

One other thing--I did take a low dose of Zoloft through my pregnancy on the advice of both my regular doctor and my OBGYN and my kid seems to be completely unharmed by it. I wouldn't advise purposefully getting pregnant when you are feeling so down as we know how the hormones of pregnancy can mess with your mind even further, but if down the road you are evened out and still on meds and facing that decision of whether or not to get pregnant, talk to your doctor about staying on medications during pregnancy. It is a personal decision between you and your doctor, obviously, but there are options out there.

--kate

Nikki- I agree with all the advice you've been given so far, especially finding a therapist you trust and can talk with. Believe me, it will help so much with so many issues, even the day to day problems all moms face.

I just wanted to tell you that I moved both times when I had little ones. For what it is worth, these are things that helped me: a mommy- tot gym class, where I met other moms and we started a play group and also exercise classes that offered babysitting.i don't if it applies to you, but I found a religious organization that offered once a month programs for moms, with babysitting. I looked forward to those, and so did my little one.

My children are grown with their own families now, and I know everyone says it, but it does go by so fast.

I hope that we can provide support here.

Thank you all for the support and kind words.

Here I am at 9 weeks on meds with an increase at 6 weeks and I am still not better. I just started a new med today - Effexor. I am so desperate for something to work. I can't continue my life like this.

I can't function. Everything I try to do feels like climbing a colossal mountain. I can't be a good wife mother or friend. I feel like my life is crumbling down around me and all I can do is watch and cry. Things have gotten so bad that my parents have taken my son. They are keeping him with them for now as I can't get off the couch most days and he is suffering because of me. My husband is so stressed out with what is happening. It is starting to affect our marriage. This is not how I envisioned my life to be playing out. We'd have another child if it weren't for this horrendous illness. Instead I don't know if that'll ever happen or if I will even be able to handle it.

I am seeing two therapists and a psychiatrist in two weeks. I hope this new med works. I can't continue like this. I need my life back and have so many people depending on me. I can't imagine anything worse than being a mother with severe depression.

I've been on Effexor for just over a month now. Had the dosage increased to 225mg. It seems to be helping somewhat but I'm still struggling.

Saw a psychiatrist and was formally diagnosed with Melancholic depression. Has anyone experienced this? It is particularly difficult. I still find it so hard to find motivation and energy to do things. And I still have little interest in going out and being social. Also have very little appetite. Lost almost 20lbs already. The internal voice of depression is still so loud it is a daily struggle to just focus on the moment and try to enjoy my life. It just wants me to feel bad about everything.

Nikki, I'm so sorry you are suffering, your post really touched me and I could have written it, cough..cough...25 years ago when my 2 girls were little.

I cried all the time, felt so alone, and wanted to run away, I love my daughter's more than anything in this world but the depression hits you that way. To get dressed during the day was a major event and quite often I couldn't be bothered.

My Psychiatrist at the time kept changing my meds and I ended up in a psych ward of the local hospital for 2 weeks. Sounds weird but it felt like I was on vacation!

It does sound as though you are doing everything right, for me it was the right meds and therapy that saved me, it can get better I promise.

It is a good idea to get out and about to say a mommy and me class ( when I was so depressed though I didn't want to go, could not go) when you start to feel better that is a good idea though.

You must take good care of yourself, you are very delicate right now, if that's the right word, that's how I felt. Your parents have your son so you know he is just fine, this is the time to care for YOU!

I hope you start to feel better, exercise is good, it always made me feel better once I could get off that couch!!!

Hang in there and please let us know how you are doing, you are not alone, peace and big hugs......