A rant.

ok,i know my problems aren't as big as alot of people's here,but i just have to get this out of my system,i just received my Capabilities test result via text massage,this test is very important for college admissions all over Saudi Arabia,it's basically the breaking point,you either go to a good college,or you get stuck in a crapty one,or get married.so anyway,i wanted to get an 80,because 80 & above gets you in the scholarship,where basically the government pays for everything,but i got a 70,& this is really bad,because my family is going through lots of financial problems so i can't really afford a fancy college,i want to get into Prince Sultan,but my choices now are PNU or any other crapty colleges,since Prince Sultan is 65,000 riyals per year,my sister goes to it,but she doesn't pay because she got an 82,so now she has the full scholarship,no one knows until now because i'm terribly ashamed,all my friends are talking about their grades,they all got 86,90 etc. so they're all going to better colleges,as usual i'm the failure,so it's not that surprising,my siblings will be better than me & i'll probably be that sister with the low pay job,even when i told my mom her tone seemed disappointed,she said she's not angry,but i could tell she's ashamed,i'm not telling my dad,or any of my siblings,so that can just give them more proof that i'm the stupid,airheaded,failure sibling,& i can't accept that!i just can't have people around me being better than me,i just want to crawl in a hole & die of embrassment,i always am & will be the family loser.i feel sorry for my family for having such a crapty,stupid,failure of a daughter.

studying in the u.s without the international scholarship is pretty darn expensive,i mean my dad will have to pay tutions,if i live in an apartment or dorm he's gonna have to send me money,& the travelling itself is pretty darn expensive.to tell you the truth,i didn't really decide what i want to study,i have a few options,like business,finance,law,psychology & political science,but there's no political science here,law is meh,psychology won't get you anywhere.i can go to a crappy college in py,but if i get a good gpa,i can transfer,but it's not that simple.

Well, can you retake the test and work in the mean time to support your family? Try to go into nursing, they pay well here in the states and I'm sure that if you retest you will do better the second time around. Get a tutor or get a book that will help you study for the test. You may be able to find a free study resource on the internet. Good luck, keep your head up and think positive. Things will turn out just fine.

nursing?i'll never find a job in Saudi Arabia with that degree,that's why they bring filipino women & indian women for that,Saudi women don't works as nurses,i did my best,i got a tutor,i did three practice books & my parents spent a crapload of money & that tutor,but again,this test is more of an IQ test,it tests how smart & smooth your brain can function under pressure,it involves math & linguistics.i did 125 questions in 1 hour & 45 minutes,it was 5 sections,each section had 25 questions that had to be done in 25 minutes,there's a timer,once 25 minutes are over you have to stop what your doing & move on to the next one,& you can't go back to it.i hate myself,first of all,i made my parents spend all that money & in the end for what?a stupid 70,what a waste.this test proved to me how stupid i am,i mean i always knew this test required practice,& i thought maybe if i did more practice,i'd get a decent mark,but i guess i was right all along,i'm always gonna be the dumbass of the family,woohoo..that's comforting.

Hello ......

   While my knowledge of your culture is so small, I think I could make a couple of suggestions .... based on someone (me) who made numerous mistakes in their very long college career.

   First, I think you need to make some decisions about what area of study you want. Many people (like I did) make changes in their major or field of study. It does two things for you ....... it wastes time and money. Neither is a positive!!!

   Long ago, while in college, I had a guitar instructor ... who taught guitar by evening and was an accountant by day. He really didn't like accounting, but when he was young, he was told "you have to get into a field that pays money"!!!

   He did. He might have had a family started by his early 20's. But in time, he found he really enjoyed teaching guitar. Trouble is .... after all those years in college, then taking/passing state examinations to get a license - it was too late for him to change. He had a family, a mortgage and all of the other good things in life ..... sometimes that keep us trapped.

   He once told me something I've remembered for decades ..... purse something that you really like. If you do, you will enjoy most of your life, have few regrets ..... and you'll actually become better at doing something that you enjoy. In other words, the chance of making a little more money could actually be better than going into a better paying field that you end up hating.

   Few of us have the capabilities of becoming anything we think might be a good field at the time. The sooner you find your niche .... the sooner you'll be on your way to acomplishing something .... and possibly a positive attitude for the rest of your life.

   Right now all I hear is complaints. Nursing for example ....... do you really think that getting a degree in nursing is piece of cake? No ..... it actually takes work - and quite a bit of work - and a few years of sacrifice ... if not more.

   You do know ........ that we, as humans - can accomplish almost anything .... if we try hard enough. I hope you find the courage to do that. If you do, don't you think your family would be proud of you? It just takes some hard work - and a little bit of a positive attitude.

   Best wishes to you.

Rob & Gizmo

 

Hello Phil ......

   Ever think about working your way thru college?

   It really is a character builder!

   And chances of failure are so small cause it's your money!

   Behind every sound success story is ........ a little hard work!

   Try it!

Rob & Gizmo

 

Phil,

I see a lot "can'ts" in your post. can feel a lot of NO's in your mind. What if you put that energy into I might or I can?

Have you ever heard of "mindfulness" this helps us balance our lives and respect who we are for ourselves. Once we accept ourselves, it is amazing what we can accomplish.

I had C's and D's all through high school, went to community college after I was married, received 4.0 grade average. That is 100% in America.

It is never too late to change, and not impossible to become more positive.

Peace and strength
Trina

Phil, we can find the things we are bad at. That part in life is easy, and it is easy to dwell upon them and tell ourselves we are useless.

The couragous thing to do is find the good think in life, things we like and focus on them, grow in what we like learn more about them and become stronger in whatever it is. God does not make mistakes when he makes someone, we as people with free will make the mistake of what we do with our lives.

You have choices, there are always choices. You just have to get the gumption up to make it.

You can do this!
Peace and courage.

Trina

Can you get something from the doctor for the migraines?

There is something called ferocette, I could be wrong about the spelling. Ask your doctor about it. It is for migraines...

Hugs, Karen...

Just your regular family doc. I have a friend that takes that for migraines. If you are indeed having migraines, this might help. Migraines are nothing to sneeze at. They are disabling...

Hugs, Karen...

I take metformin too. I hope you find out what is causing your hair to fall out. That can be kind of scary...

Take care and keep posting...

Hugs, Karen...

I don't know what pcos is, but I am prediabetic. I think... My blood sugars have been high on my blood work, but not a lot. Now they are good. I have a bad habit of forgetting the medication because I take it in the afternoon at supper time. Often I forget. But I take it a little later. At least I do take it once a day. I think I am on 500 mg...

I am glad you are graduating. You will do well...

Hugs, Karen...