Mental health system is frustrating!!

Good afternoon!!

I have posted on here before about my college student son's battle with depression.  I got a call on Wednesday from his psychologist at school stating that he is not mentally well and should come home as soon as possible.  From his texts, he sounds very irrational. 

He was originally scheduled for an appointment with his psychiatrist at home next week (spring break), but apparently they changed it and moved it to April.  I called them and explained the severity of the situation.  They said the doctor is away and the nurse practitioner (who he has seen before and wasn't of much help) could see him on Thursday.  Ugh!!  He needs help sooner!

Seems that inpatient facilities will not take him unless he calls them and he is suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic.

Just don't know what to do!!!

 

a.l.

Let us know how things went. I hope that your son is okay...

Do keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen...

As an adult, your son is unfortunately entitled to his choices. Hopefully, once he is home, you can talk face-to-face, and help him make better choices.

A.l., you are responding as a mom, and that's perfectly understandable.

The only age that matters here is 21. Whether your parents pay your bills, or not, 21 is the age of adulthood. I really don't think there is much you can do without his consent. And he may or may not be in his most reasonable mind, but it really does not matter.

My best suggestion. Welcome him home. Hug him, and love on him. And say, clearly and slowly, "We will not talk about this for three days." Or four. Or a week. Whatever. The time period doesn't matter. What matters is your son has been beaten down a lot recently, and you are not going to solve it by piling more on.

Then, after the time period is up, talk. Try to set goals. Do not get upset. Do not yell, or cry, or brow-beat, or guilt-fest. Seriously, your best bet for getting him the help he needs is to be dis-passionate, focused, and professional.

Do check out our resource thread at the top of the page. There might be some information in there that could help you. It is the first thread.

I really hope that things get better soon.

Hugs, Karen....

As a mom, my heart is breaking for you. I imagine that in order for his psychologist to have contacted you that he must have admitted a desire to harm himself or others? I'm thinking of my own experiences and these are the only ways that my therapists could have contacted someone regarding my mental health status. I apologize if I am Not correct.

At any rate, if you are alarmed enough to do so, I would take him to the emergency room. They should have resources to at least give you your options for him. That said, I understand that there might be ambivalence about doing so and breaking trust and damaging your relationship with your son.

I would imagine that once he is home you will be better able to assess his mental status, however as I said, if his psychologist was able to break confidentiality to speak to you, I would be quite concerned and be less likely to accept his statements of being fine.

I'm so sorry you are in such a difficult place as a mom and so sorry that your son is hurting in this way. And to address your thread topic, yes, I agree that the mental health system leaves much to be desired.

Thinking of you and your son tonight.

--kate

Post Edited (Kate9183) : 3/6/2014 5:48:00 PM (GMT-7)

-sigh- Still rough, and hoping for an update.

I was reacting with the "deal with young adult effectively" mindset, since that's what I do. I still think, in the right conditions, it could be effective.

But, I would say others here know more about hospitalization and the ravages of the condition than I. So, their advice is far more valuable.

Perhaps coming home away from his current 'failure' will be helpful in and of itself.

a.l. Thinking of you and hoping you are making progress with your son.