Posted 3/18/2014 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
First off, I'm new here and wanted to thank everyone for all the great posts I have been reading.
My S.O. has suffered from depression since her early teens is currently still dealing with an episode that started late last year. She also had a minor episode in April of last year that lasted 11 days and then she quickly came around again. I first noticed the change in early Sept. of last year after she had surgery. Could surgery be a trigger due to the drugs and a very grueling recovery? I noticed that she had became more withdrawn and quiet as the next few months passed. She also was dealing with multiple family and financial problems as well. We saw each other less, fewer phone calls/texts, and she just became someone different. At the start of October she complained a lot about anxiety, aches and pains, she stopped eating, and became extremely anxious. Her anxiety was so bad that her voice took on a different tone. That lasted about 7-10 days. By the end of October she went into complete "shutdown/survival mode" as she would refer to it. The texts stopped completely in November and she went radio silent. Her last text said "thank you for your help but you please have to stop". For 2 and a half months, I didn't hear a thing from her and I finally started getting a few texts from her in the middle of February that said "I'm sorry for hurting you, it is ok to help me now". She and I have been texting some the last month but it has been a slow process. I can tell she is not herself but I don't expect her to be. She just tells me she is usually tired and worried most of the time. Some days are good, most of them are pretty quiet from her end.
I have spent the last few months researching depression and trying to make sense of it. I still send her a text or two every few days to check in on her. I've also mailed a few letters just saying I'm still here, I still love you, and we will get through this tough time, etc...I don't pressure her, I don't give any ultimatums, and I don't go overboard with anything. I guess my question is what should I be doing now? My life here goes on regardless. I have a career, home, pets, friends that take up my time now. I also joined a gym, I make sure to communicate with my friends and family, but this situation does weigh heavy on me. How long does these episodes last? How do you know when your loved one is beginning to come out of the fog of depression? If anyone here has some advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.