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Posted 8/15/2005 4:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone. My name is Jessica and I am 23 years old. Will be 24 on october 8th. I live in north carolina. I did live in nevada with my mom but she passed away January 11th of this year so I moved in with my sister in Febuary. I suffer from depression and have a.d.d. I work for walmart and am excited because I am going to be going to disabled sleepaway camp next summer and hopefully will make some friends there. Life has been hard and I dont have many friends. People tend to think I am crazy because I cry alot but I know I am not crazy I am just different. I am hoping to get to become friends with everyone in this forum. My ebuddie/mentor Rachel told me about this forum. Things just are not going very well right now. I miss my mom so much and my sister did not have many good times with my mom so she tends to talk about her badly. I had not seen my sister or spoken to her since 1999 because mom and her did not get along and mom talked bad about her too nono So when my sister came to pick me up I was as scared as you can imagine eyes But things are going pretty well here with my sister and I know my behavior is hard on her and I stress her out and I do want to get help so that is why I am here. Please if anyone has a minute in their day please brighten up mine by welcoming me to this forum and also by signing my guestbook on my web site if you have time www.geocities.com/jessicas_castle thank you in advance. Love, Jessica "lonely and depressed in n.c."

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 8/16/2005 11:53:28 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/15/2005 6:32 PM (GMT 0)

:-)  HI, Jess,

     Sorry you feel left out but sometimes I let my head speak for my me instead of my heart. I have had some rough times and the members here and not responsible for that. I love them all and depend on their input and support to hang on. My husbands best advice to me is "Mind your own business". He says it at least once a day whether I need it or not. Sometimes we may tend to blame others for our shortcomings to make it easier to get ourselves off the hook if you know what I mean. I know that is wrong as I know that's not what the Lord wants me to say, think or do. He is the center of my life and without Him I am empty. Life's lessons lost can be traumatic, however, there is always something better at the end of the rainbow. Don't stop posting or reading. Like our own Rosie says, people are going in different directions now and will come together again soon. Try not to feel deserted cause like me, we are only as lonely as we allow ourselves to be!

 

Hugs

"Sue"

Posted 8/15/2005 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jessica,
Just wanted to add my welcome as well. Sue is right, HW is such a big support and has been such a help for me many times. You will find that this is a very loving family and we are all there for each other. Keep posting!!!
Take Care
Posted 8/15/2005 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Jessica,

Glad you found us. Looking forward to getting to know you better.
Posted 8/15/2005 7:56 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Jessica sad I am sooo sorry to learn that you've lost your mother. That must be a very difficult adjstment for you. I hope you and your sister develope a close bond with each other. The oddest things can cause two people to disagree and then if they don't work toward reconciliation, they have lost each other's company. I'm sorry your mom died with your sister and her were still at odds.

I'm glad you have camp to look forward too!! Are you disabled? Or are you going to help others who are disabled? I have heard that Wallmart is a great place to work. One of my nieces has worked there for a while too.

Please get some professional help for yourself sis! When you are acting out self harm, it is a very serious red flag that you need professional help. You can start with your doctor or with a county mental health agency. You need someone trained because what you are going through is very difficult for most people to understand and even more difficult to give advice. A doctor/therapist can help you in many ways that a friend or family member can't.

I hope you'll keep us posted about your progress!!

Blessings!
Posted 8/16/2005 12:19 AM (GMT 0)
((((Hugs)))) Thoughts and prayers are with you,
Posted 8/16/2005 1:35 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Jessica,

Welcome to Healingwell. I wanted to give you a couple suggestions my therapist gave me on the self injury problem. Try using ice held on the place you where planning on cutting this will still give you  results that might help.  She also told me to imagine I'm riding a wave. You're on a surf board and all your troubles are under you on the surf board. Just focus on seeing the land that you are riding the board to. You ride the wave until the urge to self harm goes away.

Take care and again welcome to Healingwell.

Laura

Posted 8/16/2005 5:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone thanks for being so kind and for welcoming me to the group.Laura, I am going to try thinking I am a surfer next time I get these urges and hopefully it will help me. I have some bad news though I ... myself again today on my lunch break at work. Work was very hard today. None of the bosses would let me do what I wanted and they let other people go to what registers they want to and not me cause they always want me close to them so they can see how I am doing and well sometimes it tips me off! Like it did today.

 

Rosie I do talk to my doctor about this as much as I can. My sister always goes in the doctors office with me so it is hard sometimes. Right now he has me on effexor. I really do not think it is working though and feel I need to get tested for being bipolar and my sister and bosses at work agree about that one. Now just talking the doctor into doing it is my next step.Also I know down the road the doctor is going to tell me to go to counseling and I will go probably not happily at first because when my dad died in 99 and my school forced me into counseling and out patient therapy at the hospital it freaked me out so me and counselors dont get along well.

Sue with the outcome of welcomes I got today I do not plan on leaving this board anytime soon. I am trying to save up for a digital camera so I can add some more pictures of me to my web site. Noone has signed my guestbook in like five days I wonder weither my friends forgot about me sometimes they do but that is ok they will remember me some day.

 

Once again thank you everyone for your welcomes with me having such a bad day your welcomes really helped cheer me up especially the hug Jon I really needed that thank you. You guys made me smile!

Love,

Jessica

www.geocities.com/jessicas_castle

 

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 8/16/2005 11:52:55 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/16/2005 5:20 AM (GMT 0)
Oh I forgot to answer one question yes I am disabled I have attention deficit disorder a.d.d. which is a learning disabilty.
Posted 8/16/2005 8:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Jessica,

Sorry you are having such a hard time at work. The HealingWell rules prohibit members from discussing self-harm:

"1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Regarding suicide and self-harm, discussions that are negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted."

While we truly care about you, this rule has to be honored as it is upsetting to other members who are working hard to avoid self-harm.

Please get some medical help immediately. We are not trained to counsel and are here to support each other in a very casual way.

Blessings!
Posted 8/16/2005 4:20 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for letting me know about that Rosie Sorry if i upset anyone.
Posted 8/28/2005 10:13 PM (GMT 0)
HI Jessica...
Hope you are having a good day, you seem to have alot of talent with graphics and doing your own web page, that may be something you look into with school...I myself would have NO idea how to do what you have done!!!
I hope things are working out and you are feeling good!!
Take Care!!!!:)
HOLLY
Posted 8/29/2005 3:06 AM (GMT 0)
How are you doing Jessica??? Post when you get a chance sis!

Blessings!
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