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Emotionally drained, please help.

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Posted 4/16/2014 1:28 PM (GMT 0)
After a bit of research on my end I've decided to seek advice here. My wife has been going through as very tough time for the last few years. I attributed much of her emotions to her high stress workplace but was aware at least a portion of her feelings and actions could be attributed to something else. She has been swinging between fits of anger and sadness, often saying she wants to do nothing more than sleep all day. Her doctor has prescribed her lixipro but I do not know his diagnosis. She is 33 years old and does not like seeing doctors and tried a therapist once but will not go back explaining he made her feel like everything is Her fault. Her job demands are super high and I know that I personally couldn't handle what is asked of her as she regularly puts up 60+ hr weeks often with one or no days off. Over the past year I have noticed her begin to take this anger out on others including her parents and complete strangers. I have been able to deal with her outbursts directed toward me but a few days ago she angrily shouted at a stranger who she thought had done something wrong, then proceeded to storm away from me. When we finally got home I made the mistake of trying to "help" her pointing out that I've noticed that she has been taking anger out on strangers. I know my wording wasn't the best but I hoped suggesting to live by the golden rule and to try to focus on positivity would help. Since I talked with her she has completely shut down and has only told me she felt as though I was scolding her. This was three days ago. I am worried about her and am completely drained and do not know what to do. I work as a firefighter and am scheduled to return to duty for a 34 hr shift tomorrow but do not know how I can possibly leave we alone with a good conscience in her current silent, angry and depressed state.

Post Edited (JasonA) : 4/16/2014 7:39:53 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/16/2014 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jason and welcome to the depression forum. I would suggest you have your wife continue therapy with a different therapist. Preferably a woman. Try to talk her into it. The reason I say woman, is because she didn't hit it off with the first one, blaming her. I think a woman would be a softer more understanding approach. She probably needs a different med or something added to it. It sounds like she doesn't want help, but doesn't realize she needs it. Often when we point things out, depressed people get defensive. It is a narrow way of thinking that is going on in our heads. We can't think outside of the box, we get defensive...

Try to have patience, but try to get her to a therapist and maybe a psychiatrist for her medications, I think an addition like a mood stabilizer would help her.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 4/16/2014 2:25 PM (GMT 0)
Any suggestions on how to broach the topic? I definitely agree with the assessment that she doesn't want help as whenever I try to help she says she just wants to be left alone so she can sort out her feelings. In my assessment the negative feelings and destructive social behavior has been growing hence my concern. Thanks for the quick response, I'm sorry for being a burden and I know like any life I can not put a full explanation of our circumstances into words but I appreciate any help that is offered.
Posted 4/16/2014 3:02 PM (GMT 0)
Jason .......

   I'm going to reach a little here ... and also state i have no medical training at all. It does sound to me like your wife may have a guilt complex. I say that because I had one myself for much of my life - that is, until I saw a psychologist for a good length of time.

   Of course, she has depression and the med she was prescribed is one of the most common for depression. I take 20mg Lexapro myself daily. For me it helps - but everyone reacts slightly diferent to meds. It does soundlike she needs more than Lexapro - either in addition or as a replacement.

   I would guess it was prescribed by a primary doctor .... and that's sort of like going to a psychologist or psychiatrist for checking your foot arch - or for the flu. It's the wrong type of doctor.

   She does need to go see a talk therapist of some type. It sounds like she needs to find an outlet for releasing her anger. I'm sure she needs a person to confide in also - and don't take that personally! I mean a trained professional.

   Some are better than others. Finding a good match would be worth spending some time to do so. BUT .... how do you get her there in the first place?

   Hopefully, someone will come along with a good suggestion. My former wife would not go .... no matter what! Denial can be a very powerful and selfish thing!

Best wishes to you.

Rob & Gizmo

  

    

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