Hello .....
Sorry to hear about where you're at! I too, have always had difficulties with the old saying of "if it's meant to be"! IF that were true, than why would we ever do anything to try to help ourselves out of a bad situation. Why - if it was meant to be that way??? Why bother???
But ... we cannot change things that are beyond our own self either! A disappearing relationship is bad enough. Add children to the mix, and it can get to be pretty severe. That's when you start to think about someone else (your children) above yourself.
Please do see a therapist, a psychologist, a counselor or whatever you want to call someone who will both listen to you - and then likely give you some direction in life. Don't think of it as three or four sessions either. Don't preconceive anything. Try to go in with as open a mind as possible and be totally honest with the therapist.
It's for your own well-being ... and in time, it will likely help your relationship with your children. It's a win-win situation, if you allow it to be. It also should help your attitude at work - or at least your ability to separate bad personal things from work much of the time.
I was divorced long ago and with two children. My boss, at the time, saw that the process of the divorce was going to affect my work to some extent ... so he asked me to turn in my resignation! It's an ugly story - of business as usual - but I needed help getting thru it. I didn't realize that until 5 or 6-years later, when i finally went to see a therapist.
I waited too long - for the old boss and job and therapist. I would never say "it was mean to be"! It was my stupidity or ignorance or resistance to admitting i needed help.
You seem to be very open to that idea. Good for you - and you're making a wise choice to consider seeing a therapist. When you do, try to be certain that it is with a talk therapist - not just a medication prescriber!
Wishing you lots of luck thru some hard work!
Rob & Gizmo