My wife needs space

I'm going to try. Just need people to talk to.

How do I even start to do that?

Really sick. I think I made myself sick from worrying and pressure. How can someone just throw you away after you have so.e so much for them and sacrificed so much. I don't get it.

I am sorry you are having a difficult time. I am a wife who has taken "time away" from my marriage as well. Being everything to everyone all the time is hard. Managing a home, kids, career, university and husband is exhausting, throw in a chronic illness and it's enough to push people over the edge.

Time apart taught us both many things. One, I can't do it all and I need help. Two, we realized that over time, we fell into many bad habits and took each other for granted. We forgot how to make each other happy and how to laugh together. And finally, we had time to remember why it was we came together in the first place and created the life we have. We didn't see a counsellor per say, we spoke a lot to our spiritual leader from church and we talked, ALOT. We said things that should have been said years ago but weren't. We have been together 20 years.

We spent three months coming back together and in those three months we both learned a lot. We learned how to be alone, really alone and be ok with the quiet. We learned that while our daughter is such a precious gift and the center of our universe, she won't always be 13....she is learning to have a life of her own as children should and we have to do the same. We take time each night now before bed to tell each other three things we are thankful for. Yesterday mine were, sunshine, quiet and the sound of the birds in the tree outside our bedroom. His were being able to see the stars out the bedroom window, for understanding what stillness is and for forgiveness.

It has been a long road for us and it takes work but that work needs to be done by both sides. As I tell my daughter, you are responsible for your actions, emotions and reactions. You can't control anyone else's. If you work on you, she may find her way back. Time is a great healer even though sometimes it goes much slower than we like.

Remember to breath, be thankful for this moment right now and then take a step ahead.

I wish you strength and peace.

K

Erik, I'm also dealing with a break-up. She dumped me without discussing the problems with our friendship
etc......... Absolutely no communication on her part. It's very difficult to deal with someone who does not talk and express her feelings. Now, I'm going through major depression.

I can relate to the difficult times you're going through. I woke up at 3am with my mind racing. What I could have done differently, etc...... I'm 58 and it never gets easier. You are not alone.

Post Edited (Samson Kid) : 5/4/2014 9:52:10 AM (GMT-6)

May I ask.any women a question? If my wife was truly done with me, would she still text me and say she hope I feel better and ask how I am?

Is there any truthful way to find out if it is truly over? Something I can say or ask?

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Erik-

Tell me that this is a joke. That you are drunk.

Tell me you really don't want to die.

What will dying accomplish? You will be hurting those you leave behind. Please don't do this.

Call for help