Posted 5/5/2014 7:32 AM (GMT 0)
Ok, Erik, I hope you have slept. I suggest your first step be calling a mental health facility. You aren't in the state of mind to do what needs to be done, which is take care of yourself.
I don't know that you are at divorce state yet. I am there right now. Actually, my divorce will be finalized in the coming weeks. It hurts. I don't want it but it's here anyway. I don't get to give up and neither do you! The big thing to think about is how weighty it is to be responsible for someone else's life/happiness. That's what you've put of your wife. You have got to learn to make yourself happy. The best chance you have for a happy and healthy relationship is to learn that key. You share burdens with a partner, but you don't expect them to make everything right.
It may sound harsh but you have got to quit putting yourself. You are the only one who can better this situation. It's not easy and I'm sorry. You do have caring people here who have been there. So it's ok to feel upset but you can't wallow in it. See a therapist and take up hobbies. Do things you've always wanted but have put off. I don't recommend dating. It's too early and you don't want to rush into something. Instead, see your friends, go do things, or find activities that keep your mind occupied. It does get better.