Daily Check In Thread For All... #92

Hi Jamie,

Thanks for popping in and letting us know how you are doing.

Have a good sleep... What is that, right??

Hugs, Karen...

I agree with JB,

AV, I think it is time to cut ties. I did it, it helped tremendously with the way I felt about myself. These people are miserable, and they are stupid not to see how good of a person you are. Detatch yourself please. For your own good.

We care about you AV...

Hugs, Karen...

Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, What day is it? LOL LOVE that commercial!

Things are much better for me this am. Journalled my heart out last night and found out some interesting things. Anger was good and progress from EMDR. So I am moving right along.

Jaimee, glad to hear you are still getting out and walking even in that weather. I know how hard it is for you. Good job mate!

Garden party? Never been to one, what do you do at one? smell the flowers, comment on shrubbery?

JB you have received some good advice I would consider it. Family does not have to be blood. As you know I have been in that situation.

Well thunderstorms are coming and I having some more weeding to do, so out to the garden I go for now.

Peace
Trina

JB1 .....

   You can accept the reality of a situation without letting go. Actually, that's what I had to do two years ago regarding her with my medical situation and my need for a little emotional support.

   And i can give many examples over the years of a tiny bit of emotional support needed - but simply not there from her! That is who she is. And her sister, my little one, is a little like that too - but she understands that and doesn't like that part of herself too much. It's oblivious to my older daughter.

   I've had to let go of my beliefs of "this is how a family should be"! But, I can't let go of my family! Yes .... that does tend to drive a wedge between the family. And being a person myself who grew up in a divorced setting my whole life ......... not having my own kids in that setting was the last thing I ever wanted - but **** happens, as they say!

   Example ....... four years ago, i stopped smoking. It was my first attempt but i was determined to do that - and I did. During that whole process, I did NOT get once ounce of support from ANYONE in my family. Did that mean that i should have walked away from my kids and my mother? No!~! It was pathetic of them - especially my mother - the one person who nagged me to stop! None of them were supporting people. They were all self-centered!

   Life sucks sometimes, doesn't it?

P.S. - this afternoon, i happen to look up the twitter as listed under my daughters name - the youngest one. The first time. It's openly available to the public, and i saw her saying something about never wanting to have kids. It didn't surprise me at all. Her childhood was filled with a dictator mother with a foul mouth, an older sister who hated her because she had to babysit because mamma went out so much. And then she saw her Dad about 6-days a month - so "who is he"?

   It sucked for her too!

   Sorry. Didn't mean to get carried away - but there are at least two people i could not walk away from - no matter what!

   I need another lexapro!

R & G

  

Just checking in. I am doing okay.

I hope everyone else is also.

WaLa

hi cass. good to see you. thx trina, am trying to keep walking with buttons. hi all. have a great day.

morning karen

Rob: Yesssssss, I'm a coward when it comes to those things. I don't like insects or bugs or 'f' or 's'. (I have issues with saying those words too). Yes, I'm very weird! Since there lots of grass or bush as we call it in Trinidad, you can find snakes, frogs, etc. around your house. I haven't seen one for quite sometime though, which is good for me.
I hope things will work out for you eldest daughter and her hubby.

Cass: Glad to see you.

WaLa: Welcome!

Karen: How are you doing?

Trina; Hope you enjoyed gardening.

AV: You're not alone. You have us.

JB: Is your cousin from Trinidad by chance? These things happens a lot in Trinidad.

Michele: Glad the meds is helping your pain. Please remember to take it easy.

Jamie, Myself, Chotti, everyone-hello.

No car today. I dropped it yesterday morning 7:00am for the 10,000km mileage servicing and haven't gotten it back yet. They called around 2:00pm yesterday to tell me they didn't give it to anyone to check yet. So, I had to travel to work this morning. Meh...

Have a good day all!

UA

Good morning everybody!!!

I hope you all have a good day. I will be gone in the afternoon.

Take care everybody!!!

Hugs, Karen...

Good morning ........

   It sounds strange to say it felt good at 60-degrees this morning ... pretty cool but no humidity! It's supposed to get up to 76-degrees today - although the skies look like rain. Love the 76-degree part!~!!!!

   HT ....... so, in 18-days you're getting a Mustang? (just kiddin)!!!! I had a Mustang once (and Michele - don't slap me)! It was a '67 - 390! Did it burn rubber!!! I had it for 13-months and had it in for warranty service 12-different times!!!! I know Fords (although a different name i think) in Australia are popular. Did they ever have a mustang look-alike by you???

   Michele ....... the rash has barely bothered me. Some news yesterday on the trial. And more news about my daughter and SIL yesterday. By the way ..... the feeling of "getting back into your old role" right away is such a feeling of comfort and confidence. I was a professional once too - I know the feeling! Happy for you! You shouldn't need to see your psychologist for months now!!!!

   UA ........ can I tell you about a National Geographic program I saw recently? Even though they were limited to the very Northeastern tip of South America, the Goliath Tarantula is the size of a dinnerplate and actually eats birds!!!! There is a Giant Centipede there also that sometimes eats the Goliath - and that centipede is 12" long. I think that's about 30-centimeters! Enough for bugs and related things!!!@!!!

   Cassandra Lee ....... haven't seen your name for along time - everything OK?

   WaLa ....... what a strange name - but such a good introductory post you wrote!

   AV ....... hope your OK today. Gizzy says hello to the kitty family!

   Karen ........ one of the best things we're here for is to listen - don't cha think???

   JB1 .......... yes - you like like to take stands too! Good for you! You had a long post and I agree with everything you said there. Sorry - but I'm even going to add to it! My Mother used to tell me all the time that she wished she had a bigger family! She always used Italians as an example. As it happens, I've known many Italian families - friends, dates and even very close to a business partner for 15-years or so! My old friend Bill, could not stand his sister, one of his brothers and actually even his Mother. He spoke to none of them after his Dad passed away! Summary - even though I agree that Italians (and others) are very often large and close-knit families, they just aren't always close!!!!

   Another short story. In my Support group, there is one Japanese lady - and it doesn't matter whether or not first generation here. And while I'm very ignorant to Japanese customs, I've always had the impression of a very proud, honest and family-oriented people. Sharon (not a very Japanese name) is just what I described. In addition, she's very open in communicating. A story that seems to bother her a great deal is about some of the family greed - it's really only about one sister - and it seems to be a large family! The point ..... there's one bad apple in what otherwise sounds like a very close, loving and communicating family.

   So no matter what your background might be - no family is perfect. And sometimes, it's even hard to imagine cousins as family (like in your case)!

   One more thing. In my Support Group, someone once said or defined her family as "the group of people she chose to be family" - and that is totally driven by choice or in some cases by love - and rarely by blood.

   I missed your before and after bookcase. Either my stupid computer or my stupid mind isn't working right!

Notes:

   I have a support group meeting (the good one - and only remaining one) in about an hour. I missed the last one due to Montezuma. I wanted so badly to show up in my motorcycle gear - helmut and black visor for it. A long story - but i don't quite feel up to it today. Anyhow - more a little later.

   Actually ....... I think I will put the padded jacket on, along with my boots, gloves and helmut. That should be fun!!!!

   Later ............!

Rob & Gizmo

     

  

Hello ......

   Far too nice out to stay inside all afternoon.

   Had my support group this morning. It was good. The facilitator went up to the window to look for a bike - right after i walked in with my Red Wing boots, my jacket with elbow,shoulder an back pads , my padded gloves and my helmut & visor.

   It was a practical joke on my part to walk in like that & everyone took it OK. It was really an inside joke - too complex to try to briefly explain.

   Everyone, as usual, brought each other up to date. One of the guys in the group was missing - but it was an informative session, as well as, fairly sobering.

   The two ladies both are beginning to be OK with the reality of dying. Both have gone thru much while their cancers have spread. Both have husbands who are not accepting things too well - but one of them is going for counseling. And these were statements of acceptance - not of anger or pity.

   I could follow what their feelings were - but not with the same intensity. A couple of times in the past two weeks, I have briefly thought of passing away as not being such a bad thing after all. Then, I thought about Gizmo!!! He needs me!

   One of the ladies I have a great amount of respect for - with her attitude. She is so grateful that she has so far lived 3-years longer than several doctors had thought. She genuinely is happy about it. She has been told that she has been on one chemo for a longer timeframe than anyone known in that doctors office. She feels blessed.

   Hey folks! How do you beat that attitude?

   A few things have changed with my oldest daughter and family. My SIL may not be able to get unemployment comp - daughter would not say why but seemed pretty convinced they would not get it. But .... she did find a source for getting insurance coverage - for now free, and if they do get unemployment, there will be a small cost for it. Both of my daughters are pretty resourceful!

   I re-arranged my offer to them two nights ago that would give them a little more money - and less of it by selling on Ebay. Having done that myself, it can take time to make some money off of Ebay items for sale.

   They're going to come over here Sunday to pick-up up the items - and I'll give them a check too then. And yesterday, there were a few telephone calls to release a small minor custodian account i had started long ago for my grandaughters. My oldest Grandaughter is actually taking a college course this Summer at the age of 16 - so this will pay for the tuition. That was the original intention by me. Janus Funds just made some internal mistakes that needed to be straightened out.

   Better be going for now - a few calls to make!

Rob & Gizmo

 

JB, try not to stress too much. I think a debt counselor is a good idea! At least you are being responsible about it, many aren't.

Rob, my grandmother told us when she was told that her cancer was terminal that she had no plans on going anywhere until her last grand baby was born. She passed a month after my youngest cousin was born. She was so at peace with everything. She was the person that held the family together. She was more worried about us than anything.

I went back for a follow up today. I've lost a couple pounds (yay). Just touching my back causes lots of pain. The dr ordered a MRI and is sending me to a pain clinic. I still have a kidney infection so he swapped my antibiotics around. Watching The Lego Movie with the kids before bedtime. Sunday is my great uncle's 70 birthday. We are having a cook out at my grandmothers. My sister will be dropping the bomb about her moving to Mississippi. That makes me want to avoid the whole thing.

My grandmother dropped off a bunch of pictures today. They range from my childhood to recent years with the kids. Looking at their baby pictures makes me kind of sad but also reminds me how much I'd love to have more kids. I always thought I would have more than 2. I'm nowhere near a good place for kids, though. Things change wether we want them to or not.