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Posted 8/1/2014 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
Good Evening Everyone!

Thanks so much Jan, Thundercloud, Lisa, Sean, Myself, Karen & Rob!

Thanks so much everyone for thinking of me during this past week. It really means a lot to me and it meant so much to me to get that e-mail from Karen letting me know that she and others were worried about me I was so surprised and at the same time it felt really good, not one of those feelings I'm use to but definitely something that I needed.

I was really wasn't expecting to be in the hospital this long, I had a CSF Leak after the surgery and had to have another procedure done and then it seems like my body wasn't doing anything right.

I had to come today AMA (against medical advice) but I really had to come home, I wasn't planning on being gone for this long and didn't realize until this week that school starts next week and it was really hard on me emotionally being in the hospital alone and having a male nurse & male nurse tech at night, plus the male neurosurgeon and the surgeons under him and it was like my PTSD was in overdrive. I dealt with almost every flashback, nightmare and bad memory there was to have and just didn't feel safe. I've been wanting to leave for a few days now but kept trying my best to hang in there. My therapist had been talking me into staying everyday and we had been trying to work on different coping skills and I was trying my best to hang in there and work through things, but I really had to come home today.

I know I didn't make the best decision for my physical health because I didn't really wait until I was where the doctor felt I needed to be before I left but I felt like I was a moment away from being sent to the psych floor I didn't want to lose it too much in there when I have so much that needs to be done within the next week and once you go into the psych floor you cannot get out of there until they release you and that can sometimes be up to 2 weeks or so. I'm kind of afraid of that, so I just really wanted to be in my bed tonight. I'm in pain and feel emotionally all over the place, but I feel safe I'm not sure if that even makes any sense.

I'm still a little groggy from the morphine but I wanted to check in as soon as possible and to thank everyone again for thinking of me an for all of your support. It means a lot to me and it has helped me a lot.

Thanks again!
Posted 8/1/2014 12:57 AM (GMT 0)
HFO,

I am so happy to see you post. Don't feel guilty for going home. I am glad you feel safe there, just take care of yourself. Extra good care especially since they didn't want you to leave. You probably need to be really careful doing things.

I hope that you get better soon. Make sure you get lots of rest.

Hugs, Karen

Oh and I am sorry you had to have an extra procedure. I am glad you got through it.

Hugs...
Posted 8/1/2014 1:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hooray HeartfeltOne!!!

I'm soooo glad that you're in your own bed and were able to be strong during all of the negative emotions you were feeling in the hospital.

Dittos to what Karen said--please take it easy. And if a problem arises, don't hesitate to call the ER or your doctor.

I'm making dinner, so not much time to talk--wish I was making dinner for you as well!

I'm feeling a deep sigh of relief to hear your voice...

xxxxx
Jan
Posted 8/1/2014 7:32 PM (GMT 0)
Please be careful and take it easy this weekend. It's not a race, but a meander.
Posted 8/2/2014 12:09 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen:

I was glad to be able to post again also, I really missed the forum. I was feeling a little guilty about going home AMA this nurse that came out today was laying it on pretty thick.

I am trying to be very careful about doing things, trying to follow everything on the list of things not to do.

I'm also trying to get plenty of rest. I'm also glad that I made it through both procedures.

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement.
Posted 8/2/2014 12:13 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Jan:

I'm also very glad to be in my own bed and feeling safe and secure. I'm glad I was able to stay strong for the few days that I hung in there, I wish I would have been strong enough emotionally to follow all of the doctors orders and stay but it was a little too hard. Being home is better.

I am trying to take it easy and get plenty of rest.

Thanks so much for thinking of me and offering words of encouragement.
Posted 8/2/2014 12:15 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Myself:

I am going to try to be careful & take it easy this weekend, I kinda don't have any other choice.

Thanks so much for thinking of me!
Posted 8/3/2014 6:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hi HFO,

How are you doing today? are you feeling any better than yesterday?

I've been thinking of you, saw your reply on Sean's thread and for some reason, even though I try to come on here everyday, I did not see this thread again as it was further down :)

I'm so happy you are home now, this is going to be short as I have been in a lot of pain lately with my neck and back, been posting on the chronic forum, so trying to battle this everyday.

Take really good care of yourself, I'll be back on tomorrow to see how you're doing, I'll look here but also on Sean's thread for you.

I feel bad not being able to talk more, sending you big hugs....
Posted 8/3/2014 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hope your pain lifts Thundercloud... HFO... Hope you are feeling well today...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/4/2014 3:17 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Thundercloud,

It was so nice to here from you today! I'm sorry you're in pain today from your neck & back, I know that back pain can be so hard. I'm hoping that by now you're feeling a little relief.

Unfortunately today wasn't much better for pain and the nausea and the blurred vision, but the constipation did finally go away after taking a laxative since Friday but I had been constipated since the date of my first surgery which was the 24th and they were urging me to come back in because of that but I kept saying let me give it one more day so I'm glad there is finally some relief from that. I do have something for the pain and the nausea but sometimes it seems like the pain pill doesn't help much but hopefully sometime this week one of these pharmacies will be able to fill my prescription for the percocet because the hydrocodone isn't as strong. I also found out that I'm running a fever today and the AC has went out but I didn't realize it until a little while ago.

Please don't feel bad for not being able to talk more but I kinda understand I was feeling bad that I wasn't able to sit up at my desk and write and check in today but I was in too much pain and that blurred vision is driving me nuts, you know I watch too much tv to be dealing with blurred vision! But I just wanted to drop in for a few and I'm glad that I did.

I hope your pain goes down a little so you can feel better. You're in my thoughts and check in whenever you feel up to it try not to push yourself too much and rest your back & neck.
Posted 8/4/2014 3:18 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen,

Thanks so much for your kind words!

I hope you enjoyed your Sunday!
Posted 8/5/2014 6:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hey,

How are you today??

Well, I'm asking that but you're probably resting your eyes and that's the main thing :)

Sure hope you are ok though. I'm feeling much better thank God, the pain has subsided at least from the terrible pain.

I'll keep this short for now, write when you can, tale really good care of yourself..hugs...
Posted 8/7/2014 10:55 PM (GMT 0)
Will write tomorrow...
You're in my thoughts every day!

Jan
Posted 8/8/2014 7:34 PM (GMT 0)
I'm back! And I'd like to hear all about how you're recovering--or as much as you are able to type and still relax.

Has your nausea passed? How about the blurry vision? Did you get a pain med that is helpful?

How's your daughter? And your pooch and fishies?

And when do you have your next checkup?

Are you sleeping okay?

Groceries holding out?

All right, Jan, enough questions! {Curious minds want to know. . . . ;)}

I don't have much to share about myself--except we finally got our new AC unit--and it's wonderful! Do I remember reading that you were having problems with yours? Funny thing here is that the nights get so cool, we decided to keep the bedroom windows open at bedtime--it's better than AC, but what a way to find out!

I'll be really glad when fall arrives so that Gingersnap and I can resume our lengthy walks/hikes. I need more of those (outdoor) healthy endorphins flowing through my bod!

Plus, we'll take a vacation in the fall--and silly us, we'll head north, not south. Well, unless we decide to head back to our Texas roots for a couple of good reasons. We shall see. AND, we'll take all of our critters with us! :)

Is your daughter ready and excited for school to start? (oops--another question) ;)

We're all concerned about you, HeartfeltOne. You're a brave woman.

Jan
Posted 8/10/2014 5:02 AM (GMT 0)
Please take your time in replying, but also, please know that we're all concerned about your well being.

xxxxx
Jan
Posted 8/12/2014 3:37 AM (GMT 0)
All right, HeartfeltOne...is it time to be worried about you???
Can you say "I'll write when I can" or something to let us know that you're at home and simply getting plenty of rest?

Concerned about you--
Jan
Posted 8/13/2014 8:05 PM (GMT 0)
Has anyone emailed Heartfeltone to see how she's doing?
Posted 8/13/2014 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
I haven't but I know she has an email address in her profile.

Maybe it is time one of us did. Seems like a few are missing. Sean, Hawk...

I hope we hear from them soon.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/13/2014 9:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lisa--

I just sent her a brief email--letting her know how concerned we are--and even if she can reply with a one-liner, that would be great.

We shall see. It's definitely been too long.

Jan
Posted 8/13/2014 9:59 PM (GMT 0)
Karen--I think we overlapped! Yes, Sean hasn't posted in a bit, but I think Hawk did yesterday?

Jan
Posted 8/13/2014 10:00 PM (GMT 0)
I think Sean did yesterday morning. Both of them it seemed were talking about hospital. Maybe they both went in. I hope that they are both okay.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/13/2014 10:25 PM (GMT 0)
I think Hawk's parents arrived yesterday--and Sean sounded okay--he had started taking Lamictal recently.
____________________________________________________

HELLO HEARTFELTONE! Where oh where can you be?????
Posted 8/14/2014 1:26 AM (GMT 0)
Sounds like they both could be busy... I guess that would be a good thing...

Hugs, Karen...
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