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AT THE END OF MY ROPE!

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Depression
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Posted 8/3/2014 2:14 AM (GMT 0)
I'm new on here and can't think of a better place to turn for some advice. I'm 39 and have been battling depression for as long as I can remember. I have started meds and dropped them several times, until one of my brothers committed suicide and I decided to see my treatment to the end. Four years ago, I finished a course of anti-depressants (Cymbalta), and was let off the hook...with the warning that if I relapsed, I was looking at meds for life.
My depression is different now, it has taken the form of rage...I am angry all the time and it is taking a huge toll on my family life..I can't do this anymore. So off I went to the doctor two weeks ago and he prescribed Valdoxan (25mg) at night and Topiramate (25mg) in the mornings. I felt the anger subside significantly very quickly, but along with that, came inmense sadness and a lot of crying...uncontrollable crying. I figured crying was better than rage, but my thoughts rapidly turned scary and after speaking to my doctor, he asked me to suspend the Valdoxan immediately. He asked me to substitute the 25mg of Valdoxan for an extra Topiramate at night and I did so last night, for the first time.... this morning, I woke up feeling better, but as the day progressed so did my old rage.
I am so discouraged... I don't know what to do! This awful anger takes over and after trying this med I know there's something out there to ease it...but at what cost? What should I do?
The thing with other anti-depressants is they make me put on tons of weight!
Posted 8/3/2014 2:39 AM (GMT 0)
Hi LaChin,

I'm sorry to hear about your long battle with depression and the loss of your brother. I think it was a very strong and proactive decision to make when you decided to see your treatment to the end. I have also battled with depression for a very long time and have been on and off meds, so you are not alone.

I'm sorry that you are so discouraged, I know that feeling and how it feels when you're trying to find the right meds for some relief from your symptoms. I think that you should continue to work with your doctor and be open and honest open your feelings and symptoms so that your doctor can try to find the right meds for you to help control your anger, rage and depression.

Sometimes the "wait" is one of the hardest things and as much as I don't want to just say be patient because I know it's easier said than done but that's what we have to do, we have to be patient while the meds get into our system and get to the right level for us.

For me counseling also helps along with the medication because it helps me to try to learn some coping skills, especially while trying to wait on meds to work or finding the right one.

I know that a lot of anti-depressants cause weight gain, I know that better than anyone, antidepressants have made me gain so much weight. Sometimes some of us try to bear with it especially if the meds really help a lot, we hope the weight gain will stop and if not and if it's too much you can always let your doctor know an then you can explore some other options.

Others will probably have much better advice, I mainly wanted to reach out to let you know that you are not alone and I hope that you won't continue to feel discouraged, it really will get better because there is a med out there for you that will work.

I hope that you'll be feeling a little better soon.
Posted 8/3/2014 8:30 AM (GMT 0)
Have you tried wellbutrin? It isn't suppose to cause weight gain...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/3/2014 3:53 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you need therapy on top of the medications.

There may issues from the past that need to be dealt with. Anger usually is an emotion that protects us from hurt.

Peace
Trina
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