Hello friends, I'm usually in the anxiety forum as that's what finally drove me to seek help, but I've had depression my whole life despite trying very very hard to "cure" myself for decades now on my own.
I really thought the power of the mind would do it, or if I finally read the right psychology article or if I just got my attitude adjusted right by self-pep talk or tried another self help handbook or read a million inspiration quotes, maybe finally one would "snap me out of it". All to no avail, and many a long dark day/weeks/months years slipped by.
Discovered xanax last year when I had panic attacks for chest pains which turned out to be anxiety.
xanax was a miracle! I had no idea there were drugs to take away that awful anxiety.
But alas as most know, the opinion of xanax is that it's too addicting and Doctors were reticent to give it to me for more than 1-2 prescript
ions.
I relented, nervous, went to a Psych Doc, where he tried me on celexa and I had a terrible reaction to it, almost gave up right there.
But something made me go back, and he put me on prozac. He switched me to klonopin rather than xanax.
Prozac wasn't bad, the initial effects lasted only a few days and were manageable. Everyone said it takes 6 weeks to feel the effects, and all my Doc said about
that was: "Your friends might remark on how you are less cranky or sad".
Huh, uhh ok. That was kind of strange lol. I have no idea what to expect as this is my first time on AD drugs.
Then a few days ago, all of a sudden, I felt... Good. Really good. I felt so good, I cried from happiness! But, I wasn't sure, maybe it's a fluke, I thought. I had been taking the klonopin every morning for anxiety, all of a sudden, I didn't feel the need for it.
Next day was a stressful one, and I decided to go without the klonopin again, to see if I could deal with it, and I did.
Yesterday, feeling good again, a little bit spaced out for a very short time, but doing good. I noticed a bit of a low in the evening and early morning before taking my prozac, but better than before!
It's a very hard thing to describe how I feel. I see why my Doc said it was "not a panacea".
It comes on quiet, with no fanfare, no tingling or laughing or anything, just all of a sudden, I noticed I felt much better. The usual "negative self talk loop" wasn't playing in my head. I felt "ok" in my skin. I had hope, optimism, and thought I might actually enjoy going out to a few places where before I just continued to feel "flat" and did not really enjoy myself.
I suppose it's still too early to tell for sure, but I feel... Energized a bit. Hopeful and good, something I have not felt in decades, literally. If you have suffered from long term often debilitating depression, I don't need to tell you how awful that is. And how amazed I am, that there is this drug that might actually finally, help me in a way my best efforts never could.
Wanted to share my story in hopes it might add to the pool of information.
Thanks for allowing me to share, it feels good to have something positive to write about
for a change.
