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I'm tired of being sad

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Posted 9/7/2014 5:08 PM (GMT 0)
I'm 41 years old. It seems like there isn't a time during the day when there aren't tears in my eyes. This makes it hard to be around anyone. My wife loves me, and is used to the way I am. I'm thankful for that. I feel like in happy with things in my life, but I'm still sad. I wish I could be a happy person that people enjoy being with. I'm tired of wanting to hide because of my sadness.
Posted 9/7/2014 5:40 PM (GMT 0)
J

Welcome the forum.

5 years ago, I was in the place you are. I chalked my saddness up to chronic pain.

Started seeing a therapist. The chronic pain was NOT the issue. We all have baggage from the past of present that we don't quite know how to deal with. Some of us as we get old the chemicals in our brains change and become unbalanced and we need medication to balance them again.

It can be as simple as that.

I urge you to see a talk therapist, or at least talk your family doctor, being 100% honest about feelings.

Peace
Trina
Posted 9/7/2014 5:43 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the advice and sharing your
experience with me.
Posted 9/7/2014 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi J,

WElcome to the forum... It is sometimes slow on the weekends, but picks up in the week.

I hope you are having a good day...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/7/2014 6:48 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the welcome. Have a great day!
Posted 9/8/2014 10:04 AM (GMT 0)
welcome from me too. remember, happiness comes from within. i highly recommend therapy. and do happy things as well. my happy things are well my biggest is music, love music, writing / poetry and helping others. when my eyes aren't too bad (diabetic retinapathy) which they are now i like to read a little. hw has been awesome for me as well. just being able to give and receive warmth and hope / positives is truly a blessing. keep well and strong. am sending many healing thoughts your way.
Posted 9/8/2014 2:56 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the advice. I don't mean this to be selfish, but just knowing
that there are others like you going through similar
things makes me feel better. I'm sorry about the effects
the diabetes has had on your eyes. I have double
vision that is corrected with lenses, otherwise I wouldnt
be able to function. I agree that doing happy things helps. I love music as well. I recently started to sketch and draw. I'm enjoying
learning the techniques of doing those. I wish you the best!! Healing thoughts and smiles from me to you as well. tongue
Posted 9/8/2014 4:01 PM (GMT 0)
you are absolutely like me,i cry for hours at a time and my eyes look horrible and i can't even see properly since past 1 week because of this ~what a time i am having for eyes and anxiety~

diabetes plays huge role too.

i hope i keep my vision intact.
Posted 9/8/2014 4:12 PM (GMT 0)
I'm lucky. My crying isn't continuous for hours like
yours. It's like my eyes always have tears in them
waiting to pop out because of the slightest thing. Over
the past couple years I would just start crying hard
for no reason. I let things build up inside me and that's
the result.
Posted 9/8/2014 4:18 PM (GMT 0)
think happy as well.............:-)
sketch happy things. i like doing smiley faces!!!! :-):-) :-)
be happy.........just smile.
play happy music...........i am now and it is 2.20am!!! :-)
i have a funeral to go to and can't sleep.
strange i am happy. my mate is now out of pain she was in heaps.............this makes me happy. sad that she has passed. but she would not want me to be sad.
make everyday a happy day............i am giving it a crack.
be good.
Posted 9/8/2014 4:40 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry about the passing of your mate. That's a good
way to look at it. You have to keep trying, no matter
how frustrated you get.--I've found that exercising helps my
mood a lot. It gets my mind off everything. turn turn yeah yeah
Posted 9/8/2014 4:45 PM (GMT 0)
EXCELLENT. :-)
Posted 9/8/2014 7:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hey J and WELCOME.  You've found a great group of compassionate people with whom you can give and receive loving support.  My first thought in reading your intro was "possible hormone changes"?  I think males suffer from "manopause" at a certain age, which varies as much as it does with women.  Have you seen your PCP to have your levels checked? 

As previously stated by others, I struggle with debilitating pain, depression and anxiety.  I was hesitant at first to seek a therapist.  There were too many skeletons in my closet.  It has taken time and trust, but with proper meds and the ability to talk freely without judgment, we've taught those skeletons to DANCE!!

It's a minute to minute thing, no one size fits all.  If you're able-bodied, keep physically busy.  If not, keep mentally busy and engaged with people.  IMO, in my world "HAPPY" is elusive.  I'd settle for "content".  Right now I'm content that Turtle is on top of things=)

HUGS~~Dixie

Post Edited (Dixie6) : 9/8/2014 3:25:03 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/8/2014 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
Dixie, thanks for the advice. I am open to seeing a counselor, my main worry is what my family would think about it. I have not had my levels checked. I can relate to the skeletons in the closet. I think that what my problems stem from, things that happened thirty years ago. Staying busy and having something to focus on helps me. It's those times when I'm doing nothing that are the toughest. I wish you the best with your problems and you are in my prayers. turn turn turn turn
Posted 9/8/2014 9:17 PM (GMT 0)
Don't worry about others; You cannot control what they think. Your worry is you, and if this is something that will make you feel better, then there is a great necessity to yourself and your own health.
Posted 9/8/2014 9:23 PM (GMT 0)
J...I think most of us understand your fear of family's reaction.  It comes down to this:  It doesn't matter what anybody thinks.  It only matters that you do everything you can to get back your quality of life.

I finally realized years ago that I shouldn't worry so much about what people think of me...at the same time I'd realized that they rarely thought of me at all...much less my well-being.  I hope you'll get your chem panel done and perhaps some guidance with anti-depressants.  Self-shaming and isolation are your worst enemy right now.  You CAN feel better again, J=)

Dixie

Posted 9/8/2014 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
Dixie, you are right about my quality of life being
most important. I've kept telling myself for so long that
I will feel better on my own, that this is only
a phase. I am going to seriously look into
getting some type of treatment. I see so many
people that are happy and wish I could be like
them. Corresponding with people like you
does me a lot of good. I do feel very isoĊ‚ated
at times. I'm just looking for someone that
I can call a friend and who understands. yeah turn
Posted 9/8/2014 9:53 PM (GMT 0)
I would add that I do not share many things with my family. If it is something I feel like sharing, or feel they need to know, then I will tell them. However, I do not offer information, and I feel no worse for it. Total honesty and openness are not possible without compromising a relationship in some way. And, while some will say we should always tell the truth, I would argue that it's an impossibility. We always shade what is happening with our perceptions.

In other words, it's not their business, and if they know, they feel obliged to take part, since you have disclosed. That's when I say, 'Back off."

If you feel as if you ought to share the news, then that's your call. But I would not tell folks what the appointments are about, nor be pressured into sharing. The good, old-fashioned "I am talking about some issues" covers a lot of bases.
Posted 9/8/2014 9:59 PM (GMT 0)
I will keep everything you've said in mind. Getting treatment and
disclosing my problems to family or friends is
going to be a slow process for me. That's how I
feel it will be best for myself. I hope you have a good
evening and look forward to talking to you again. yeah yeah
Posted 9/8/2014 10:02 PM (GMT 0)
Dixie, are you a spiritual person? What are your religious
beliefs?
Posted 9/9/2014 12:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hey J,

It is against forum rules to discuss religion on the forum. Sorry, just following the rules... Thanks in advance for understanding....

Hope you are having a good evening...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/9/2014 2:41 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry. It won't happen again.
Posted 9/9/2014 3:43 AM (GMT 0)
J...Look at my user name on this thread.  There's a little envelope there that you can "click on" to get my email.  If you'd like to email me, I will gladly answer your question.  We aren't allowed to discuss our religious beliefs on forum, but I can discuss it with you through email...and welcome your question=)

HUGS~~Dixie

Posted 9/9/2014 9:06 AM (GMT 0)
Good idea Dixie, I should of thought to mention that...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/9/2014 9:31 AM (GMT 0)
just seeing how you all are. keep strong.
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