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My girlfriend wants time to find herself- suffers from depression

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Posted 9/11/2014 8:26 PM (GMT 0)
I think she will easily realize it. And I understand where the people around you are coming from. They have a valid point. But like I said I think there are outside factors that affected her. The same way it happens to all of us. If I'm busy at work or tired or working out I end up being really dry. There's a logical explanation to everything buddy. You just gotta keep going with the flow. Be water my friend
Posted 9/11/2014 8:37 PM (GMT 0)

Lost200119 said...
one of the hardest things is everyone around me is telling me to drop her like a bad habit..that she will do it again and shes dangerous if she can emotionally shut down like that and not care..i cant bring myself to do that...i know she hurt me but maybe someday she will realize it...i dont know..

Give her space and let her realize ,if you are hurt someday inform her when you feel comfortable and calm.She cares but in a different way and maybe hiding it ,depression can play tricks on emotions and mood ,as i am with a moody partner who never cares (i feel ) for my moods and emotions its really really emotional and difficult to hope much but still hang in there !!!

If she understands herself and loves you ,,sooner or later she will will know !

Good luck Bro~~~

keep us posted
yeah yeah
Posted 9/11/2014 8:47 PM (GMT 0)
thank you very much guys
Posted 9/12/2014 10:40 PM (GMT 0)
Well, she cancelled at the last second, i was literally on my way to pick her up. She said she was tired and we were only going to hang out for a little anyway. I dont understand this girl. I guess im the only one who looks forward to hanging out. I told her i wasnt mad, just a little dissapointed she didnt tell me sooner bc i left work early and got ready for nothing
Posted 9/13/2014 4:53 AM (GMT 0)
that happens ,don't worry ,she might be tired .

better luck next time.Don't lose hope BRO.

keep posting.
Posted 9/13/2014 3:49 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, trying to take it one day at a time. going to wait for her to reach out
Posted 9/15/2014 3:15 AM (GMT 0)
hey boys,

small update...so yesterday i told her i would drop the stuff that she conveniently forgot in my car in her mailbox. she insisted on meeting for coffee instead. I reluctantly agreed. We met up and i felt very odd around her...was nervous and anxious and she could tell. i think its because today would have been our anniversary and a month since we split. it wasnt easy but i tried to be as civil as possible. as i dropped her off she said she wanted to see me again soon...she says she wants more time to talk to me. i dont know. im getting to the point where its frustrating that she still doesnt realize how much she hurt me, or she simply doesnt care...shes in la la land still... obviously i didnt say that to her...ive got girls chasing me and i think its messing with my head a little..i dont want to date anyone else but when is this all going to end? later on in the day she messaged me and she asked what was wrong..i told her i thought it was bc today would have been our anniversary etc., and it was just a difficult day for me..i also told her that i missed "us" and i felt myself slipping away but that it probably had something to do with today being our "former anniversary" and the day we broke up..that it was an emotional day for me..she didnt respond...i know it bothered her, i was just being honest..i guess lets see what the next couple days bring....shes making some pretty dumb decisions as far as her career is concerned....i had gotten her this great internship with a congresswoman and she completely dropped it to go work at dunkin donuts....what the hell is wrong with this girl...she wants to get a puppy now yet she has two birds that im taking care of, and she hasnt asked about them in a month...very frustrating
Posted 9/15/2014 3:23 AM (GMT 0)
Yano to be honest my brother it sounds exactly what my girlfriend went through.. She got a puppy 3 days before we broke up which essentially helped her emotionally after we broke up. She quit her job also. Are you sure she doesn't have depression or anything like that ? She sounds emotionally confused and maybe she's going through something brother. It sounds like a good encounter though. But don't tell her you miss her or us or whatever. Let her do the wondering. You want to give her the least amount of clarity as possible when it comes to her decision on breaking up. I know it sounds manipulative.. But it's what needs to be done. She needs to feel like she mad a mistake. Do yu have an Instagram ? Go out. Take pictures. Enjoy life- everything is gonna work out. My intuition has never steered me wrong and I have a keen eye for this stuff. She's going through something. You kinda need to find out what it is. She's not emotionally stable which is why she's so rocky on every decision she makes.
Posted 9/15/2014 3:44 AM (GMT 0)
shes is definitely going through something....no one knows what it is....her parents keep telling me to be patient...they are being super nice to her to try to make her feel more comfortable around them...she told me shes been very edgy lately and frustrated...honestly im getting to the point where i want to give up...i loved her for who she was, not because she was pretty, but because of how she made me feel and how she acted...now thats gone and its starting to take its toll...she didnt mention the ex this time around but i know shes communicating with him...she claims she wants nothing to do with him but all of a sudden hes obsessing over her....why is this all happening now? we had a great connection...she had grown and matured so much... she has been influenced by someone ...i think i know who...this person has told her to remove all the negative energy from her life and meditate everyday....now the people around here that know us both and liked her...are starting to ignore her and shes noticing it..everyone thinks what she did was bad except her...i miss the person she was....whoever she is now is not who i met....she even said it herself..."i changed and i dont know whats happened to me, I need to figure it out" ....ok fine...but what am i doing....im going to sit here and wait for her until she meets someone else or hurts me even more? ..if she doesnt snap out of this soon...i dont know if i will still be waiting around.
Posted 9/15/2014 3:47 AM (GMT 0)
you know what im talking about...im sure you felt similar...its just so draining that im starting to lose hope...her dad said to me...u may have lost the battle but not the war...be patient...im losing any patience i have left
Posted 9/15/2014 3:52 AM (GMT 0)
How am i going to find out what it is...i think its the whole wanting to move back to greece, and wanting to be here and meet new people...she has at least 3 years before she moves back..if thats what she does...and i told her...dont put all your eggs in one basket...wait and see where the road takes u...shes already planning on going back for 3 months in the summer....im like why dont u wait and see what kind of job u get and how classes go bc u may not have the ability or flexibility to go for that long in the summer....she seemed to listen a bit but im getting so tired
Posted 9/15/2014 3:52 AM (GMT 0)
Buddy, as long as you understand that you can be willing to leave. No your worth. If it's gonna work out it's gonna work out. You want the girl you fell in love with, but she's changing and it seems like you have an understanding why.. In the end, is it all worth it ? You're a strong person, I can see by the way you're handling everything. But sometimes people are meant to be in our life to teach us, not to stay with us forever. She needs to figure out what's going on. It's not fair for you to wait around, and you shouldn't. Life's to short to watch it go by on the side lines man. You wanna get in the game. You are gonna come to a point in your life where you know exactly what you deserve.
Posted 9/15/2014 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
Your right....im defeated ...i cant take too much more of this...the hope that she will wake up one day and realize what shes done is fading fast
Posted 9/15/2014 7:50 AM (GMT 0)
I am glad you aren't manipulating her, it could backfire... That is not a good skill to choose.
Posted 9/15/2014 3:27 PM (GMT 0)
Traveling across the world to be with someone you love and you think loves you and then getting your heart battered isnt a great feeling. I cant believe this happened. after i brought her to my fam and they loved her, she took me to her village and broke up with me immediately...she told me i had to escort her there...that she could not be seen going there alone....then when she ended it i picked up my pieces and left...it was one of the hardest things i had ever been through. my cousin asked her why the hell she dragged me down there to do it and she replied that she wanted to show me her new bedroom and how she painted it..?? What the heck? she was madly in love a few days before..she went from being an adult to thinking like a teenager in one month of being there....

she never responded to my last message yesterday when she asked what was wrong with me...i was being honest..i didnt mean to make her mad...i just said that i thought it was because it would have been our anniversary and its an emotional day for me...i told her i missed "us" but i felt myself pulling away...what will it take for this girl to wake up
Posted 9/15/2014 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
Im not going to message her or anything...ill wait and c if she eventually responds or reaches out...part of me thinks im setting myself up for failure..dont know how much more of this i can take
Posted 9/15/2014 6:29 PM (GMT 0)
Lost,

this is a very hard lesson learned, cultural differences produce being used in different ways.

If I were you, I would move one, grow from the experience and find another adventure in life to have without women for a while. Find more of yourself, the person you will like.

then perhaps the right person you want to spend time with will come along.

This girl is not that person.

Peace
Trina
Posted 9/15/2014 9:35 PM (GMT 0)
spoke to her briefly on messenger....we had out first spat in a while....she told me i had dissapointed her a lot and we fought a lot...she refused to get into it..this is her friends talking, one of whom is obsessed with her..she even thought he was trying to play with her head and that he may have wanted to marry her but never said anything because of how strict he is with his religion..she always viewed him as a friend...this guy is all about meditating and removing the negative energy in life..which im not knocking but i think hes using it to manipulate her..her entire family are besides themselves...they dont know what has happened to her.....i told her she was focusing only on the negatives and not on how much we loved eachother...she said she lost herself and is trying to find herself....that she doesnt want to be in a relationship and she dislikes men...i asked her how i could have been such a disappointment and how come i dont remember all these fights shes talking about...i said even if i dissapointed her for some reason, adults talk things out and help eachother be better people. i asked her to try to remember back to before she left and how happy she was and in love...i would never have gone to be with her and taken her to my family if i thought we were fighting...we were only together for 8 months and 6 of those months she refused to break up with her long distance ex bf in greece bc she was worried he would do something to embarrass her on Facebook...she said she was slowly breaking it off...after this today, she shut down again and said she would talk to me soon...that she had a rough day
Posted 9/15/2014 9:38 PM (GMT 0)
the last thing i said was this...
Im sorry i wasnt perfect....but u were all i could have ever asked for....not for your looks, not for your body...for your heart....yur personality....your love...thats why i fell so hard...i believed u were that person...but that person would never have hurt me like she did...she would never have dreamed of it
Posted 9/16/2014 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
Lost, I truely believe you are only hurting yourself by continuing to eake out a relationship with a person that is not interested.

She has too much to work on with herself, you have even stated this.

Considered giving yourself compassion, and try to move on.

Peace
Trina
Posted 9/16/2014 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
Your probably right, she said she loves me but cannot give me anything romantic or a relationship right now...but at the same time, shes not giving me much hope to stick around
Posted 9/16/2014 4:45 PM (GMT 0)
Lost, do you hear yourself? Even in this last post, you are contradicting your statements.

Please, do what is good for you. You are worth more than what you are giving yourself.

Peace
Trina
Posted 9/16/2014 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
Her decision making has been so childish from the get go...i thought i could change that or help her grow up and i really thought she did...but from the way she handled the situation with her ex..to how she handled our trip to greece, to the decisions she is making now I guess it was false hope on my part. Letting go is hard but i know now that I need to do it.
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