Rock bottom

Hey everyone thank you for replies.....I did have some half decent days but I didnt feel quite right and havent felt quite right for over 8 months and this would explain so much. Karen I had a break last week from gigs but now I have gigs every weekend until Xmas :) weather is fairly mild for November, are you okay?

Hey Lisa, thanks so much for praying for me, I really really need this miracle to happen and to know its something I can identify as it will mean so so much for me. How have you been Lisa?

Hi Chelel thank you for comments, yes I am so surprised that the symptoms can mimic depression and even anxiety. Both my mum and dad suffer with thyroid issues so it does run in the family.

I will let you all know tomorrow what the consultant says :)

Hugs

Sean

Good luck with the gigs Sean... Sounds like you will be busy...

I Hope you get answers Sean... I think you will this time...

Take care ...

Hugs, Karen...

Hi everyone,

Sorry again for late reply.

I found out today that my Thyroid is definitely underactive which means that alone can be causing all of these symptoms so they gave me some tablets to take and then I have to have a blood test in a couple of weeks to see what the levels are like then. I am not feeling so great right now and dont know if thats because of this new tablet or because the consultant has me cutting down on my Duluxetine from 120 to 90 mg.

I was really hoping to be better by Xmas, we shall see.

Enough about me, how is everyone doing???

Hugs

Sean

Omg Sean- I always tell women on here to get their thyroid checked but never men! You taught me!

Thyroid issues can totally mimic all of this junk. Add low thyroid to already being prine to anxiety & depression and you have a perfect storm. It truly can only be better news from here on out. Not saying it won't be rocky, that's life, but I'm with Karen, I really think you're going to be feeling better soon & quite possibly in the next month. Heck, what's a month after the year we've experienced, right? lol.

I've never doubted you would get better. I truly feel like things are going to turn around soon for the best.

Love ya friend!
Lisa

Ps: hi Karen ♥️
Pss: I'm doing pretty good. Still remnants of the DR hanging around here & there but better than it was.

Hi Lisa,

Hi Sean,

I hope both of you are having a good day today. Snow storm here today. Yuck... Huge blizzard... I am a hermit...

Be patient Sean... Nothing good comes easy or fast...

Hang in there, you will feel better soon...

Hugs, Karen...

Hi Sean-

Come visit Karen & I in the Midwest US, we have plenty of snow to share :( lol.

Sean- you've felt tired & out of it every day for awhile so it's not linked to any reduction and you haven't felt the effects of getting your thyroid to normal ranges. That's good news bc it can only get better!!!

You'd do sooooo well with cognitive behavior therapy! It's reframing negative thoughts into positive ones. It takes daily practice. We've developed bad habits worrying & being negative (not saying we haven't had good reasons to be), but that means we can make a habit out being/saying/thinking positively. We have to do this daily and preferable when we start thinking negatively.

Sending you much much love, peace & healing!!

Lisa

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I have not been on here. My head is all over the place, as soon as my consultant found out I had an underactive thyroid, he said for me to lower the dose of Duluxetine from 120 mg to 0 in the space of two weeks but I got down to 60 and felt terrible so he has advised me to go back up to 120 mg until I am stable with the thyroid but this has really messed my head up after going down to 60 and then back up to 120, I feel the depersonlization more than ever.

I have been taking the thyroid tablets for past 6 days but I don't expect to feel any change just yet. I have so many gigs coming up and I am really scared that I am going to lose control or touch with reality before then.

I just done a gig tonight and it wasnt too bad but I felt horrible coming home and still do now, I just want a break now and to feel like I used too.

I really hope you are all okay.

Hugs

Sean

hi sean. keep well. remember my mantra. 'slow and steady wins the race'. esp if your a fat turtle like me!! :)

Guys I honestly cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel right now. I just feel like I am going downhill and its getting worse.

Lisa did the DP ever make you feel like you was going to just lose touch with reality and just stop knowing how to do things?

I am trying to be patient but its so hard especially when I have had this pretty much non stop since Feb :(

Do you think it is the thyroid causing the depersonlization?

Sorry to make it all about me, I just have nothing to give right now.

Love to all

Sean

Sean, yes I felt like I was losing my mind. It was worse than anxiety to me bc anxiety was at least familiar. I'm still getting it every now & then but it doesn't last as long. Mine would last a day or so at a time. I'd get breaks. I still feel it hovering but I'm getting better as it's getting less & less. I don't fight it & instead do whatever I need to at that time. I've even been speaking about it out loud to my husband instead of keeping it to myself.

I've been really busy lately & that helps so much. I just felt it 2 days ago when I went shopping with a new friend. It lingered after I got home for a cpl of hours but I just got busy around the house. I've been cooking meals for my sick neighbor & helping others is a good distraction/lesson in mindfulness. Chopping the veggies for the soups, preparing the brownie mix, I'm just now able to really focus on mindfulness.

The things that have changed is A. time, B. I started taking prescription folic acid (Deplin) & C. made myself stay engaged in whatever activity I'm doing.

What's your consultants plan with the Cymbalta? Is he wanting to just get your dose lowered or take you off of it completely?

Why aren't you in talk therapy, I can't remember other than months ago the one therapist said you should put off therapy until the DP goes away? Every professional I've talked to said therapy is essential, even if you have DP, major depression etc. I go once/week.

We're gonna see you through this. This isn't your forever life, I literally promise you that with all confidence.

Hugs,
Lisa

Hi Sean.

If all you want for Christmas is to feel better again, starting some CBT now would be a good idea.

I wrote a book called Destroy Depression, documenting how I got over my depression and PTSD and CBT is the very first thing I suggest to people, as understanding how your thought process fuels the spiral of depression is a great base to start from in your recovery. It will usually take a few weeks before you can see a documented (you will be keeping a thought journal) increase in your thought process. So starting now, in time for the Christmas, would be beneficial.

I understand you do not feel you can think straight at the moment, but the first week or so all you really need to do is document and write down thoughts, basically if you just treat it like writing in a diary rather than a CBT course, it may help make the task seem less daunting.

If you notice in your above post, you mentioned how your "mind keeps reverting back to self checking on how I am feeling", CBT can help with this straight away. Allow me to explain...

What CBT teaches is how to challenge the negative thoughts and beliefs which fuel your depressed emotions, which then turn into negative actions and complete the depression cycle. Therefore, it is not how you are feeling that needs to be tackled first - it is any self-destructive thoughts or beliefs. Breaking and interrupting these thoughts are the key to breaking the cycle of depression.

By keeping a diary for the first week, you will have a base to start from and you could start by challenging one or two thoughts you had in that first week.

If all this sounds a little too complicated or intense, there are other things you can do in the meantime.

Take a look at your diet. Is it high in salt, sugar and trans fat? If so this will fuel your depression, so changing to a more healthy diet rich in fruit, veg, fish and white meat will aid you.

Do you exercise? Just taking a stroll outdoors for 30 minutes a day will help massively. If you have a family member/partner or friend who can walk with you and talk about things on your journey will also help.

There are other things I could also go into, but as this is my first post (and it is pretty darn long!) I will cut it short here and say this...

You are not alone in this battle, people care about you. Your depression is clouding your thoughts, it does not mean you are weak and people care and want to help you. You WILL recover and enjoy a life full of vitality as long as you are focussed in the right way. Anything you want from life is possible.

Above those clouds, the sun always shines.

James.

I think working on the cbt would give you something to focus on other than the depersonalization. I think that when you are struggling, that is a good time to try it. That is what it is for. So give it a shot Sean, you can always stop...

Hugs, Karen...

I'm sorry that this struggle is so overwhelming. I completely agree with what James had said above. Also, think back to your gigs and how you had felt better, this is because you were focusing on something else. This is proof that these feelings are just your thoughts turned inwards. I have been there and I suspect most of the people here have too. Cbt therapy can help you turn your thought process around but it takes practice. There are a lot of online free courses that you can download and print and do at your own pace. I know this is hard and that you are trying, but medication alone is not the solution. The skills that you learn can last you a lifetime. I sincerely hope that you find what you need . In fact I know that you will!!!!! Bless you! Lisa