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Anyone relate to having no family and few friends?

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Posted 12/5/2014 1:16 AM (GMT 0)
Hello.
blush I'm not certain why it feels odd to admit that I'm SO alone - but it feels icky.
I've been alone most of my life. I've tried to make myself feel better thinking I'm a lone wolf -- a pioneer -- cool you know something cool like that. Fact of the matter is coming home just sucks. There's no one here. Just a dark apartment. No one to talk too, never any feedback, just silence. I think this is why I like music so much.

Most of the time, I do fine. Today though has been rough. I have this kitten, named Gracie -- and she just had surgery. She pulled out her stitches and had to go back to the vet. Now she's locked up in a cage for three days, scared and Mom is alone again, missing her.

So my fuzzy buddy is gone too..... at least for now.

I have friends, but they live in different towns. It just seems like everyone has family. Like everyone one has someone. I'm the oddball.

It just seems to add to my depression some days.

Thanks for letting me vent.

G.
Posted 12/5/2014 1:56 AM (GMT 0)
You aren't alone! Remember that those thoughts - "I'm alone", "everyone else has ....", "I'm an oddball..." are a symptom of the disease.... they aren't even thoughts at all... they are 'fumes' that come up from that ugly depression. The good thing is that awareness of these thoughts is an important step and you are aware of them already... so once you are aware of them, do a thought record (google - how to do a thought record if you aren't familiar with that term) and blow those depression fumes out of the water!

You are a lovable, wonderful person and you aren't alone :)
i'm sending loving thoughts your way...
Linda
Posted 12/5/2014 3:22 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Linda -- I did not know that! Hmmm. I think I'll do just that!

Thanks for the thought and responding,
Gina
Posted 12/5/2014 4:31 AM (GMT 0)
Hi G~!

I have an idea for you. I know this has worked for two other people... If you have a nursing home in your city/town, visit with the staff and ask if they have some people who would benefit from visits... Do for others what YOU would like, sometimes, can work miracles.

Sometimes there is a tendency to withdraw from others ... and we hold ourselves back from taking ACTION... When I have gone through this kind of thing, I finally had to admit to myself that it was ME not putting myself out there... I know from self-learning you sometimes just have to convince yourself 'go do something' ... like becoming visitor ... it is amazing what a 15 minute per week visit can do for some of those lonely elderly people... and its even MORE wonderful what it can do for YOU! :) I have a feeling there are people out there just waiting for you to give them some love and attention! :)
Give it a chance!
Bettsann
Posted 12/5/2014 4:34 AM (GMT 0)
I can relate although I do have some family.. brother, Aunt, Uncle & cousins. I'm missing the parents I never really had in the first place and my grandparents. I have a few friends but sometimes I isolate and then I feel really alone. I've been trying to reach out to the friends that I do have.. it's hard when you're not feeling good. I think it's harder this time of year because of the holidays. Everything is all about family.

I hope your kitty comes home soon and is a comfort to you.

Hang in there!
Posted 12/5/2014 4:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Bettsann!,
This is a good idea. It is a way to feel connected and have a sense of family. I do enjoy older people... I actually help take care of an elderly woman now. Thanks!

Chris,
I miss my dad so much. He's been gone since May of 2010 but it seems like I could talk to him on the phone tonight. He was my rock. And yes, the holidays are hard and feeling crappy doesn't help. I like to isolate myself... I know that this isn't good. I love nothing more than to go and get into my bed with the electric blanket on.... and just lie there until I doze off - no matter what time of day it is. I guess that's my (however negative) depression drug-- and since I've had surgery, I love doing just that. Most of the time I snuggle with Gracie and I'm contented, but sometimes you can't help think about wishing that you had a significant other to hold me. Shoot me, I'm human. God did create Adam and Eve! (No offense anyone) It's only going to get worse as the holidays get closer with the music, commercials of engagement rings and such -- ugh!

So, yeah, Chris I totally agree. I worry about kitty - I know that she's in that steel cage, scared and alone. Thank you!!!!
Gina
Posted 12/5/2014 10:27 AM (GMT 0)
I have very little family also and only a few friends. But my friends are good friends. I think I like it this way... I agree with donating time at a nursing home or similar facility. It takes our minds off of our own problems and these people really appreciate it. There are many things you can volunteer for during the holidays.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 12/5/2014 12:28 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Karen, and yes you are right -- reaching out to help others in our sense of aloneness does help. I'm just sort of in a pickle right now. Im recovery from surgery - and assorted other oddities that go along with this.. you can imagine. I'm not really up for that right now. But I thank you.

Gina
Posted 12/5/2014 12:41 PM (GMT 0)
For some reason after having surgery, a lot of us get depressed. I think that this will pass, but it takes a little time. Hang in there, keep posting, we are here to help you through...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 12/5/2014 1:13 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen.... it helps being here!!!
Hugs back,
Gina
Posted 12/5/2014 3:36 PM (GMT 0)
I can not anymore that these wonderful people has already stated.

Just know that you are not alone and can post here any time. We are here to listen and support, we understand.

Peace
Trina
Posted 12/5/2014 6:12 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Trina. I'm off today to the doc to see about my wounds so I get to go to the mall so that helps!!!!

Gina
Posted 12/5/2014 11:33 PM (GMT 0)
Dear grace,

I can relate to what you are saying. Being alone or feeling alone and like you have no one to share with can be so depressing. I think that connecting with others is a key thing to feeling satisfied in life. But sometimes our friends and family can't or won't be around for us. When some people face depression in others, it scares them and they don't want to be around it, in my experience. I don't know if that is your experience, but yeah, loneliness is saddening.

But! You are not alone. You have this community online to share, vent, talk with. It may seem silly because it's online but its not. We are real people and we can give you real relief and listening ears.

I feel sad to hear of your sadness and I hope your cat comes home refovered soon! I wish there was more included day to give comfort. Please know that you are valued, and that you are heard. Your post today has certainly made a difference in my day - and week! Today was tough at work but trying to think of what to say and trying to help another person has helped. So please know that you are memorable to me, even though we're strangers. I hope that maybe something I've said helps the loneliness.

Xoxoxo
Posted 12/6/2014 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
Chaitea,
Thank you So much for posting! I just got in and got your message - I'm exhausted from a rough trip and driving hours in the rain and fog.... but I had to post! Thank you for relating with me, and yes you are absolutely right! People (even the one's that love us) don't like to see our pain. I don't know if it frightens them, reminds them of their own -- or what it is exactly - but they do not often handle it well --- and we get suggestions instead of just plain comfort. You actually said what I needed to hear or in this case --- see.

Loneliness make us feel alienated. Or at least it does me. Like a man (or woman) with out a country -- so to speak. I have a home, but we all need more than four walls. God made Adam and Eve....LOL. And by that I mean we NEED each other. I do okay most of the time, and do like my own company, it's not so much that, there are just those times when it gets old.

So thank you so much for caring enough to acknowledge me. Know that it was heartfelt. Most of the time the things that I do (my blog, my kitty, and my life) are stimulating enough to keep the depression at bay - but with the healing of this surgery it's been difficult with so much time on my hands.

You have a way with words, and I cannot thank you enough for thinking of me, and caring enough to take me with you in your thoughts -- and in your heart. Just knowing that makes me feel better even though we'll never meet other than typed words on a screen. I felt connected to you -- and yes, this does matter. I've struggled with "mattering" in my life -- and I'm working on this as I live and breathe.

In Gratitude,
Gina
Posted 12/7/2014 3:37 AM (GMT 0)
All of your comments made ME feel warm & comforted reading them, so I just had to say thank-you!

I don't have much else to add except I wish you & your kitty much healing & I wish all who are reading this, much peace!!!

All the best-
Lisa
Posted 12/8/2014 12:35 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Lisa!!!

Kitty is home everyone!!!! SMILES all around!!!! Thanks everyone for the LOVE!!!

Gina
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