I am driving myself crazy. My boyfriend has been depressed since around September. He never admitted to having depression previously, but he was having these ups and downs, with the down periods getting increasingly worse and longer. He would go from being his normal loving, kind, and affectionate self, to sullen, withdrawn, and completely inattentive from week to week or so. Anytime he was feeling down, I would approach him about
it, and he would just get defensive and shut me down. He would tell me "too bad, it's just the way I am" and not care one bit the impact it was having on my own emotional health. He made me feel wrong for being upset, but I feel like being completely ignored mentally, physically, and emotionally by the person who loves you is completely unacceptable. Apparently approaching him was the wrong thing to do, even though I tried to do it in the most non-combative way, because it drove him away from me. He broke up with me the Monday before Thanksgiving. He claimed that he loved me, but that he was overwhelmed with life. He admitted to being depressed. He said he hated life and that he just couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, that I "wouldn't put up with him". Three weeks prior, during one of his good moods, he was telling me how incredibly much he loved me and that he wanted to marry me. I was devastated that he was suddenly choosing to end things. I mentioned his depression and that he should try getting help first before making such a rash decision, to which he replied, "I'm not going to waste time and money on therapy and drugs." His attitude had become increasingly negative/pessimistic over the previous few months, but I couldn't believe that he was giving up so easily. We were together not quite a year (close though), but he had fully committed to me, this was not a casual relationship. We were close, I
opened up my entire life to him and accepted him fully, he stepped in as a Dad to my children and moved in with me. We were in it for the long haul, or so I thought. His behavior since the breakup is even more perplexing and has caused me quite a bit of grief and situational depression. I cry every night, I have trouble staying asleep, and I barely eat (I have lost over ten pounds, and I only weighed about
125 before). Initially we were still talking after he left, he said maybe we could work it out, he told me he was still here for me, etc. But at the same time he was super negative and saying I was too good for him. Then suddenly he completely stopped responding to me. He didn't even wish my girls and me a Happy Thanksgiving. Then he blocked me from all social media. And he basically treats me as though I don't exist. He discarded me as though I am nothing to him. It hurts, and I cannot figure out if he is just a terrible person doing terrible things, or if this is the typical behavior of a man that is deep in the throes of depression. And if he is depressed, what do I do? Will I ever get these answers? Will I ever get closure? Please, someone provide me some insight, I am going out of my mind over this. I never ever thought he would treat me like this.
