Will it be this way forever?

tonight the only word i can think of is DONE. i am so done. I am tired of this. Will it be this way forever? Why am I forced to do this every single day, all alone, but everyone says "keep fighting" "one day at time"...but what for? Just so the next day can be just the same or worse? What am I "fighting" for again?
D O N E

Yep, this can be a brutal journey. The rules aren't fair and the outcomes are totally wrong sometimes. We scrape and claw to make one step only to get knocked back...again and again. It isn't fair!!!

I can tell you this much Ang, *you make a difference.*

You will usually never know how or when you touch someone or encourage them. But, everyday you effect others. Sometimes its a wonderful thing. A blessing, because gosh if she is still hanging in there with all the crap on her plate well I need to suck it up and take another step.

It doesn't make your arm feel a lick better. You will still have those surgical scars. You will still struggle each day to brush your hair, or scrub the dishes, and why cant there be more push open doors? That wont change, and I am so sorry about that. But you give hope to others because you face that battle everyday knowing that there is a long war ahead. Because when you fall down, another person grabs your hand and pulls you back up...just like you have done for others.

But that's just my opinion.

but I do appreciate your words. People can complain plenty on here but its hard to give/recieve empathy...

Ang/M

Know that you are not alone in the emotional upheavel that you feel. It does seem like it is for nothing alot of the times. Being married with a supportive husband does not make a difference. Even then they have their moments of having enough, and we have moments of great guilt for bringing our stuff into the relationship. It gets very complicated.

I am going to break the rules and give you a Bible reference in the hope that it helps you in some way. Isaiah 58: 7-8:10

It references helping others.


www.volunteermatch.org

is a wonderful site that gives opportunities to helps others at your pace, in your interests. For instance, I love books. So I searched under books. In my area, currently, there are some places looking for people to read to 5-7 yr olds in libraries. I am thinking about calling and doing this. One hour a weekend.

I know it seems impossible to be able to do anything. However, once we move our muscles the mind will follow, and if we find a small amount of joy, our emotions can change, even if for a few hours.

I wish you peace and strength.
Trina