From happy to sad

The one thing that has always amazed, puzzled and pissed me off about depression is the fact that I can go from being completely happy and fine to a trainwreck and feeling completely worthless. I was fine all day, kept busy and focused my best on things that made me happy. But then I went for my first counseling appointment and dragging all of my problems back up has just sent my mind into overdrive. I can't stop overthinking, asking what if, blaming myself, and just overall feeling stranded at the bottom of a pit with no way up. I called into work with some lame excuse simply because I couldn't bring myself to get out of the house for fear of not being able to hold it together. Im so sick and tired of not being in control, not being able to control my mind or thoughts and just be happy. I can't sit still, I can't take my mind of the things that make me sad and I feel alone. All in the course of a day.

I have seen mindfulness mentioned a few times on the forum, what is it exactly? And yes I am on medication for it but it does not seem to be helping a whole lot. I will continue with counseling, I am just having a hard time dealing with the random up's and down's. I just want to be stable and happy.

mindfulness is basically keeping your mind in the "now"... If you start thinking of the past or worrying about the future, put up a mental stop sign. Say stop three times. Keep doing that until you learn to live in the now. Past and future only leads to too much thinking.

Mindful.org I believe is a site that can help you.

But somebody said to me the other day, we need to feel in order to heal. So we do have to deal with the excess baggage and then move on to better things. I tend to forget about past events after I have dealt with them. That helps me. I don't worry about things that are out of my control. It was hard to learn this, but with practice you do.

I was directed to a book that helped me. It was called "how to train a wild elephant" ( I think)... It was a very good book to help with mindfulness.

I wish you the best...

Hugs, Karen...

Hi Mat218,
many of our problems, can lead us to all sorts of mental states.
I am usually a very positive and a sunny person, but there are times , specially when things dont work the way we want them to be, we start going down down down.

i RECENTLY, cleaned out a lot in side my "memory box" while i had to stay in bed for 40 days, I started writing... all what was crushing me, it became a autobiography book.. i was crying while i did it, I forgave many who had disturbed me , or had done wrong in the past, accepted it happened , wow what a releif at last....

only thing is since we are stronger than our mind, we should try to control it , and mindfulness is living in the present, no past no future, live this moment. sing, listen to music, hum walk, draw, prepare something you love , try to bring out of you nice feelings and nice thoughts towards the ones who had done wrong, i do bless them and i say where ever they are hope they are happy .(some are dead).. this helps me alot.
but do them with a light heart with a smile. hope that smile will be yours from this moment. hugs hope.

think of loving kindness and treat yourself and others with that feeling. try to look at the present situation in a positive way not in a negative way.
Even in my worst moments (when my daughter gets her flares) , I try to find a bright light in that dark cloud which keeps me going.
in every negative situation, or even when i have to deal with a difficult person, i try to see the positive thin, or the nicer, brighter side of that situation.

dont let the negative feeling tell you "dont go to work" ut you tell your mind what a beautiful person you are .. and many nice things you will see while you go to work.

we all go through this UPS AND DOWNS, it is a matter of pulling up the strings.

hey we are here to say LIFT UP YOUR CHIN AND SMILE... I AM SMILING AT YOU SENDING ALL MY AFFECTION.

Post Edited (hope92) : 2/19/2015 11:12:35 AM (GMT-7)