HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

ATTENTION

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 3/2/2015 1:34 AM (GMT 0)
Hello everyone!

There is a topic it popped my mind, that one can talk about in different ways; ATTENTION.
People need to have attention, even the ones that claim that doesn't want it.
What happens when a loved one doesn't give us the attention we've been having for so long?
What happens when we even don't get the attention we want from somebody, when we need more than he wants?

It's not always that easy as to ask for it, or just give your own attention to somebody; it doesn't work mostly. Most of the time, people get frustrated by other's attention or others asking their attention...

Personally, I am living a period that the attention of people caresses my ego, it really makes me feel good. I know that this is lack of self confirmation and self confidence; let's face it that we all have our ups and downs, so we need people around.
Sometimes your best friend is not there...for different reasons...

Why do we need attention and how to deal properly with this problem, without being vulnerable and feeling pathetic?
Posted 3/2/2015 5:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hi AnnaX!!!
I think the need for attention comes from the basic need for human contact. We feel validated too, to some degree, when we get attention from others. Babies like attention in order to thrive, both physically and emotionally. As adults, we may like attention for the same reasons. If we lack attention in our personal lives, we may "act out" in order to receive it.
Just my 2ยข ;-)
Posted 3/2/2015 10:32 AM (GMT 0)
I myself like one on one contact, but get uncomfortable when attention is on me in a group. I stay by myself a lot though so I don't get attention. I give myself attention I guess. Not saying I don't crave human contact. I just don't really like the focus to be on me. I guess I am weird. ha!!!

Hugs, Karen...

Good topic...
Posted 3/2/2015 10:48 AM (GMT 0)
Karen,

I used to be a person that didn't like to get attention on a group. The fact that I liked the one to one contact (so, attention), I think it is related with the fact that I am a person that needs to have the control of the situation; let's say it like this... You cannot have the idea of what a group of people think of you, there are many eyes there, probably not all of them paying attention.
But in an intimate conversation, you have the eye to eye contact, so you feel comfortable and be more yourself (or not, if you know what to not be in front of that person)

You see, I like to go a bit deeper in my psychology.
I remember having really good one to one contacts, but I used to feel insecure, I guess, in groups.
So i think I naturally started doing this: create some one-to-one contacts with persons of a social group (classmates, colleagues etc) and then being comfortable talking with them all together; I am quite the person that leads the conversations, make jokes etc..
Posted 3/2/2015 12:20 PM (GMT 0)
That is good. You sound like you have a lot of confidence...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/2/2015 3:52 PM (GMT 0)
I wish this was true... It is just something manipulated by my mind..
The truth is that the iceberg below shows I don't have that confidence i show :D
So I have to truly build my confidence :)

Hugs :)
Posted 3/2/2015 5:14 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, you can work on that. I am always having to work on confidence. But if people see us as confident, that helps build it... Keep up the good work...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/2/2015 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
Good thread.

Humans are social beings. We need at least one other person to be in contact with to be mentally stable.

So physical contact and verbal contact is important. So is validation by both means.

Yes, you are correct we do not give or receive this when need all the time. This can be improved with mindfulness, this practice helps us see suffering in ourselves and others. Helps us manage it better, thus greating more compassion for us and others.

Using mindfullness, and practicing creates this process in a very natural way and it happens almost without a person realizing it. Truely amazing.

Does not mean hard days don't happen, we just work through them more safely.

Peace
Trina
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply